After the hurly-burly of our Business Review week comes the delicious meltdown...joke, I mean SLOW DOWN (to the unfamiliar, our world revolves around acing the BR presentation during this week). The calmness after the storm.
I’ve been waiting for this moment. I’ve made plans...or to be more precise, I didn’t make plans. I unconsciously freed myself from any weekend getaways, family obligations or the shadows of my work. I haven’t been this “vacant” in a long time.
My weekend bag is packed. The Do-Not-Disturb mask is in mint condition.
I have downloaded the latest Keane CD so I can just soak in their tuneful lamentations and sarcastic world-weariness. I have also retrieved the OST of Garden State. Music in between dreams.
I have queued two DVDs that I have longed to watch in long time. One is a light romantic drama similar to How I Met Your Mother, which was highly recommended by a colleague. Maybe, I will definitely watch it (there goes your clue). The other is an Academy Award-winning sardonic drama revolving around a teenage pregnancy... and witty verbal intercourse.
If time will be so kind, then I will also breeze through the pages of the latest Anita Shreve novel I bought. Shreve’s sombre prose is sure to quiet what rage is inside of me.
The old me is back, the one that is wary of social encounters. It’s just me and my escapist multi-media allies, languishing in my safe, make-believe bubble.
So excuse me while I go vegetate.
***
To the “unfeeling”, don’t push me to spell it out for you. I will go where I want to and I will volunteer myself if I want to. And there are many things I don’t want anymore. Once bitten, twice shy. So I really hope you will get it.
Go practice your wretched enchantments on someone else. I have paid the price and I’m still paying for it every day.
I stand still because I have work to do. Operative word: WORK. I’m not here for anything ELSE.
I choose my own battles. Same as I choose my own perimeter. You already gave me a convincing portrayal of your beloved insignificance. Clap, clap.
***
I’ve been gifted with the gut feel to judge characters accurately. Within seconds of the initial meeting, I will know if a person is worth the trouble and the investment. Maybe I am psychic and I can read one’s character aura, if ever there is one. Believe me, there are people whose aura screams “caution,” like that ominous warnings on poison bottles.
I’ve made the mistake of stepping within striking distance of these ominous auras. I silenced that trusty voice inside and listened to the betraying voice of compassion. Yeah, shame on me.
I can look you straight in the eye (because I did you no wrong) and I just laugh inwardly at how you retreat like a shrinking violet. I have never seen GUILT so tangible and so obvious.
Cheers...to the NOTHING that you are.
***
Photo courtesy of Carminico on Flickr.