Question of Fate

Starry-eyed and nostalgic on a Saturday morning and I have Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack to blame. And some David Gray.

A few moments ago, I woke up with a slight headache; probably from staying up late and my stupid body clock waking me up and preventing me from sleeping in. While waiting for the caffeine to kick in, I opened the TV but nothing interesting to watch. Just one top model show after the other (seriously how many top models does the world need?). Then I chanced upon this Chinese channel showing English movies (with Chinese subtitles of course). At the risk of sounding cheesy and redundant, fate and destiny led me to one of my all-time favourite movies.



Ok, I never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. I'm more of the hapless romantic (cue in chuckles). Yes, I read Nicholas Sparks and Paulo Coehlo, but I approach their stories with my signature blend of sarcasm and disbelief; writing off their stories as modern day fairy tales where happy ever afters are so once upon a time.

But once in a long while, something permeates the thick wall of disinterest and indifference that I built. A resounding echo bouncing off the walls of my empty heart. And suddenly I get hit with a mind-blinding force straight out of Cupid’s bow.

It was love at first viewing. Kate Beckinsale is a jaw-dropping heartbreaker in this movie. I think the accent makes British girls seem smarter. Then, it happened during Christmas, where the blanket of good tidings makes everything and everyone seem a whole lot nicer. And the story...THE STORY!!! I know it's a bit Mills & Boon-y but for me, it was heart-breakingly simple but at the same time earnest and tender. In layman's term (haha), may kurot sa puso (tugs at the heart). Cue in the romantic sigh.

Maybe part of me is fascinated by how a smart beauty can fall for a sloppy wuss. Story of my life. Or should I say, FANTASY OF MY LIFE. Please don’t quote me on this.

I have the Serendipity DVD and I watch it ceremoniously every Christmas. I even have the OST and the opening notes alone of David Gray’s January Rain has the power to dissolve me in mush. By the time Evan and Jaron’s The Distance spins, I have morphed into a more mawkish version of Jonathan Trager.

I know my sister hates this movie because she thinks the plot is improbable (well with that kind of logic, she probably hates 9 out of 10 movies). But I beg to disagree.

I’ve had my Serendipity slash Bridges of Madison Country moment many years back. I don’t talk about it much because the magic of that day was simply beyond words. I bumped into her when I was babysitting my younger brother on his first educational trip. She was babysitting the brother of her husband (yes, you read it right...her husband). I don’t even remember her face now. All I remember is the pain in her eyes the one and only time I saw her after that. She was with her husband and when she saw me, her expression just fell. Her eyes were asking the question that I was afraid to answer: why only now?

Oh well. I am such a magnet for anything complicated.

So here I am on a muggy Saturday morning, wishing for a skating rink and snow. So I can just lay down and look at the stars and dream. Waiting for a mitten to come flying and for Fate/Destiny to hand me my own Sara Thomas.

But then again, Destiny cannot swoop down on me only because Reality is standing guard and slapping me in the face every so often.

So who am I kidding?



P.S. If by chance you see an old paperback copy of The Secret Garden with a number scrawled on the 13th page, call that number. Who knows...

P.S.2 Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with my self-imposed solitude. It's just that this movie puts me in an illogical trance. Emphasis on illogical.

***

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough

It's hard to remember
As long as you're away
When I find solace
There's only one way

- The Distance

Dear John, you should have stuck with the book

I picked the Dear John novel last weekend (thanks to CB for lending it to me) and I got really hooked that I finished it in less than a week, a feat for a busy bee like me. It was my companion while waiting for my 1.5 hour-delayed flight back to Manila last Friday. But I had to stop reading before I reached the end because I was already feeling a lump on my throat. Tears on a guy are like bombs on an airport, if you know what I mean.



THE BOOK

The story is rather simple, since simple beauty is the forte of Nicholas Sparks. He uses straightforward language and laid-back storytelling. But what sets Sparks apart is the heart he allows to beat in every story he fabricates. Living in this complex world, Spark’s simplistic prose appeals to our intrinsic human emotions... that is to revel in the lovely sunshine and the joys of love and at the same time suffer the gloom of heartbreak and loss.

Yes it’s a love story but told from the male perspective, so it is not that emasculating. Truth to tell, I can relate to most of the male leads to ever walk out of Sparks' pages. But John is probably and ironically the most self-destructive in the name of selflessness. Like John, I’m much of a loner and nonchalant to the thing called love. But when I do take the plunge, I approach it with such sensitivity and a mixture of wonder and trepidation that my life is never the same again. Sigh. And like John, I have been known to inflict personal pain if that meant making another person happy. Another sigh.

And so I drop the bomb. This is the third book to ever make me cry. Not bawling-in-fetal-position kind of crying. Just a tear shed for the beauty in the sadness. Reading Sparks is like engaging in a losing battle to keep the blues away. And then comes one sentence (yes all it takes is one sentence) which will dissolve all your restraint and you just let the emotions engulf you. At least I am man enough to admit that.

Dear John explores a different way of loving another person. And the sad part is that it’s also the only way I know how. Hence, no happy ending for me as well; I’ve longed accepted that.

There goes my Dear Bernard.

THE MOVIE

I was pretty much in a Dear John zone that I immediately dived into the movie after finishing the book. As a personal rule, I read the book first because I want to “connect” with it personally and not let a filmmaker interpret it for me. More often than not, the movie adaptation is a trying-hard effort. Some stories are not meant to be visual (stories can be simple whereas a movie has to be glossy). Since he banks more on emotions rather than imagery, Nicholas Sparks' works belong to this classification. But for some reason his novels and often turned into movies.

In fairness, the A Walk To Remember movie was acceptable, and not just because of Mandy Moore and the amazing soundtrack. It captured the essence of the story. Still better is the The Notebook adaptation. I hated the book (the ending chapter was revolting) but the movie gave the story a whole new light.

I think the trick is to stir up emotions and poignancy via cinematography and narration. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to cast pleasing actors and throw in a good soundtrack.

Dear John, the movie, is a dedication in dissapointment. It suffered from bad screenplay writing and lame direction (to think the director previously dished out Oscar-worthy Chocolat and The Cider House Rules). Though I have not read and watched Nights In Rodanthe, this is the worst movie adaptation ever. It’s like a Muslim was asked to make a movie out of The Bible.



Casting Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried was a step in the right direction. I initially wrote off Channing as a shoo-in for John (girls will swoon at his pretty face and built that is moulded for an Army uniform). But he proved me wrong because he carried the heavy scenes well enough. Still, the two lead actors did not have the same chemistry as Mandy Moore-Shane West and Rachel McAdams-Ryan Gosling. And they have the script to blame because the movie lacked something that the novel has.

Dear John’s biggest downfall is that the movie failed to capture the HEART and SOUL of the novel. It felt like the screen writer and director did not engage in the emotions of the story. They just look bits and pieces and strung it sans rhyme or reason. Sans emotional build-up. Even the full moon analogy was hackneyed, lacking the dramatic moments like the telescope-shooting star sequence in A Walk To Remember.

Had I not read the book, I don’t know if I would follow the development of the movie plot. For instance, how could Savannah say that John’s father has a disorder just by seeing him with his coins? In the novel you can understand how Savannah concluded that because we got to know the Dad. In the movie, the Dad was a disconnected character who was later given a tearjerker scene which left the viewer dumbfounded. Sorry, but the only reason I want to cry is because the movie was so far from the book.

And to add bitter icing to this already blown-up cake, they made a lot of changes to the characters (like Allan being Tim's son instead of brother). But I can forgive that. What’s appalling is that they had the nerve to change the ending! THE ENDING! It’s like they questioned the decisions made by John in the novel.

I didn’t realize that Hollywood can be this heartless.

Dear Mr Sparks, if it’s your dream to see your novels on the big screen, this is not they way to do it.

Flying Without Things (Excess Baggage Not Allowed)

Once in a long while, a movie comes poised to slap you in the face and pat your back at the same time. Up In The Air is that kind of movie. It patronizes and mocks the person that you are. A satire where no one is laughing because while it was fun, it was almost cruel in its intense honesty.



Up In The Air is a cosmopolitan dramedy that humanizes the antiseptic lifestyle of a modern alpha male (modern existential man, to be exact). A man who looks at himself and finds his value in VIP cards and frequent-flyer miles. Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) is a professional Shiva. He is in the business of firing people, sugar-coating job termination as an opportunity to chase your other dreams. He lives a high life that is spent mostly in-transit and doing the dirty work that corporations have no balls to do themselves. He is deeply in love with his job and its platinum-card privileges. He seldom comes home; and home to him means priority airport lounges and humdrum hotel rooms. A self confessed cynic, he has isolated himself from his family, from relationships and people in general. Hmmm.

Enter two women who will shake Ryan's clockwork world. Alex (Vera Farmiga), the female version of himself who engages Ryan in a casual relationship which will soon turn into his sweetest disappointment. And Natalie (Anna Kendrick a.k.a. Twilight’s Jessica), an ambitious newcomer who has a brilliant idea of using the internet to sack people professionally. She makes Ryan squirm in insecurity and she questions his philosophy in a bid to make him see the other side of being human. Alex is the Ryan now, Natalie is Ryan from 10 years ago. Alex is the karma, Natalie is the conscience.

Take out the hot girls and Ryan will look like someone I know. As a friend who knows me so well has pointed out, this is the Hollywood adaptation of my life. In a crude kind of way. My life, my rules, my philosophy. Yes, my backpack.

All the telltale signs are there. Single man who enjoys a thriving career and non-existent “life.” A lifestyle made by choice, mind you. I almost smiled at Ryan’s radical philosophy: What’s in your backpack? He preaches that relationships with people and things tie you down and if you rid yourself of those you are free...well, up in the air.

In Ryan’s wise words, I am travelling light; I am living a life that is divested of relationships and all other things. My life is ruled by my job and I am deliberately alone most of the time. And guess what...I am not complaining. This is the life I have wanted and designed for myself. This is the life I am used to. My rhyme and reason. I know most people don’t understand it. But if being boring and two-dimensional meant that life will be less complicated, then I am in this boat alone. No frills, no fireworks. Simplicity is the spice of my life.

I often wondered at what point did I exactly de-sensitized my existence. I really can’t tell. I think it was the sum of all fears, doubts, disappointment and letdowns. Over the years, I have tried different versions of myself. And lately I have settled for what is most comfortable; the path of least resistance. I play the run-of-the-mill guy who exudes cool awesomeness under pressure but with a suppressed caustic side. Hard candy with a surprise center.

The movie ended with a sharp sting, perhaps the most sophisticated and heartbreaking ending in silverscreen history. Like most great movies, it leaves more questions than answers.

Yes, I have anticipated that kind of ending to my story. I’ll confess that there are times when I feel empty and hollow. Pointless even. But I prefer this to being caught up in a tangle of emotions and I see attachment as a double-edged sword. I’ll admit that sometimes paranoia creeps in. What if I die alone in my rented house and it will take days before anyone realizes I’m gone? What if people will stare at my sarcophagus and realize that they know me but never really KNOW me.

How about some self pity...what happens during those winning moments? Will I be like Ryan and celebrate the realization of my platinum dreams with a total stranger? But then I realize that if I am man enough to own this lifestyle, then I’m also man enough to face the consequences.

I’ve also asked myself if I am master or if I am slave. In my search for stability, maybe I have trapped myself within a mechanical routine. That in trying to avoid the high and lows, I ended up running in circles. And I like it that way.

Under its high gloss production (it's a Clooney vehicle for crying out out), Up In The Air is actually brutal and hard hitting in its emotional truth; an entertaining depiction of modern socio-economics. In more ways than one, I find this movie deeply comforting if not a little disturbing. I always thought that I was fighting a battle of my own. That all the previous events in my life have conspired to bring me to this point. Little did I know that I am only one of many. I was churned out of a cookie cutter after all.

The next time someone asks me why I am devoted to a life of lucrative solitude, I’ll just smile and say: I’m up in the air.

FILM REVIEW: Summer Love?...NOT!

Here’s the thing. I came into this movie expecting a lot because my friends (M as the leader of the pack) have been gushing about it. For a movie that talks about something I can surely relate to, I surprised myself by being impassive about it. Maybe I’m a little too mature for this, or maybe my threshold for pain and misery was set too high and was not breached. So this a the case of IT’S ME, NOT THE MOVIE.



500 Days of Summer is a quirky and tragic romcom movie. In 500 days, it shows the whole spectrum and circus of modern day love: from “love at first sight” to “it’s over I’m moving on.” The story actually has heart as it explores that limbo that serves as the foundation of some relationships...the awkward “What are we?” stage (Oh, tell me about it!). But it deviates from the Mills & Boon template of love-found-and-love-lost stories by telling it the arthouse way.

While the plot delights and satisfies like summer breeze, this movie has a strange way of confusing itself as it bids for non-conformity. I loved the movie’s vintage color and throwback music but got confused on story’s timeframe (70’s? 80’s?). Realization only dawned when they were shown playing Wii Tennis. The morning-after dance sequence was cute and funny but it removes some tenderness to an otherwise heart-wrenching story. The non-linear way of storytelling, reminiscent of a romantic flipbook, worked well in showing us the fun times and fault lines in the Tom-Summer saga; but it ruins the way the characters are developed (more on this later). So comes its biggest letdown: for a story that is refusing to be non-traditional, it settles for a cutesy cliché ending.

The movie’s brilliant moments come when it walks the fine line between reel and real. It has the Hollywood fanfare of a romantic fantasy but remains grounded on the realities of non-destined love. The split-screen treatment of reality vis-à-vis expectations delivers the Ouch! factor. It is sick and relevant; the kind that will scrape the scars in your heart. This sequence alone saves the movie from the trash bin of forgettable romcoms.

The two lead stars are immensely likeable. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a revelation in this movie. I only knew him from Ten Things I Hate About You and a handful of TV appearances but I didn’t know he matured into a sensitive actor. It’s a good thing they did not cast an A-List cutie (Zac Efron?) to play Tom, because Gordon-Levitt makes the story believable with his firm grasp of subtlety and emotions. His face registers the stages of love, lust, hope, pain, frustration and perplexity beneath an armour of geek-like coolness. However, I can’t shake off the fact that he looks like a starved Ryan Atwood (from The O.C.) with the tics of Seth Cohen.

Zooey Deschanel is a dead ringer for Katy Perry, down to the costume. For some reason, I couldn’t get to her Summer character...she is too much a mystery and reads like a closed book. I’m torn between Deschanel not giving much dimension to her character or the scriptwriter failing to breathe life to Summer. Maybe she was really THAT complex and I am as baffled as Tom. But this may also be taken as part of the movie’s appeal.



Having said that, the movie failed to establish the characters outside of their exclusive and precarious relationship. Maybe that’s why I didn’t care that much about their dilemmas. Their misery is simply infantile. It didn’t bring me to fetal position, the way tragic male-centric indie flicks like Garden State (Zach Braff, Natalie Portman) or even Dedication (Billy Crudup, Mandy Moore) did.

Maybe because after 500 days, the movie gave hope to Tom...but unfortunately not in the form of self-realization and more mature insights on love and life. Just another shot at uncertain love. I think Tom’s view on love is as trivial and sketchy as the greeting cards he write (love is a rose and you are its petals). He even gets romantic wisdom from his sister whose two cents makes me want to throw up. Like TV's Felicity, Tom stages his own love suicide and I don’t have much sympathy for lovefools of his kind, even if I know they deserve better.

For what it’s worth, 500 Days Of Summer shows us that love is random and baffling. And it proves that all things come to an end, even heartache and misery. After summer comes...hmmm...I guess you can figure this one out.



***

Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew.
Tom: Knew what?
Summer: What I was never sure of with you.

***

Tom: You don't want to be named as someone's boyfriend, and now your someone's wife?

***

Tom: What happens when you fall in love?
Summer: You believe in that?
Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

In The Shadow Of The New Moon

Even if Halloween just whizzed us by, the New Moon fever is very much aglow. I have barely two weeks to finish this book before the movie rolls out.

To be honest, I got into the Twilight bandwagon just to be "in" on the new pop phenomenon (part of our Marketing lifestyle). And because F pressured us. I found the book a bit juvenile...like Anne Rice rewriting Sweet Valley High with bloody ink. But this does not make the book any less enjoyable. It combines two compelling fantasies...the existence of vampires and the discovery of true love despite the odds.

The movie is different though and far from juvenile. I think it did justice to the book, which seldom happens when you bring a novel to silverscreen life. Everything seemed to be well thought of...from the casting to the cinematography. Even the OST and musical score is superb. The OST immortally resided on my player (I still can't get over that Iron & Wine track).



I’m a fifth into the book and newsflash: the new moon has casted a shadow over me. I blame it for feeling morose and aloof today. Agony is universal, no matter what the phase of the moon will be.

Excuse me while I sulk... I mean excuse me while I resume my reading.

So Funny I Drooled

The day has come that a local movie tickled my funny bones so hard that I drooled.

It’s 1AM and I am still wide awake from the adrenaline rush brought about by laughing incessantly in the last two hours. Friends know that it takes the corniest or the smartest of things to make me laugh real hard. And when I do, the laugh attack is so involuntary (like heartbeat) and lasts for several minutes, even hours.

I am not a big fan of comedies, especially the slapsticks. As far as I can remember, I have never watched an Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller movie (I prefer Steve Carell). And I hate Tito, Vic and Joey and noontime variety shows. I prefer high-brow comedy...the likes of SNL and Friends.

So it's Friday and the start of an OFFICIAL long weekend. We decided to jumpstart the three days off with a bang. We trooped to Trinoma to watch a movie we’ve wanted to watch since last week. Peer pressure... those who already watched it gave us a you’re-so-2000-and-late look.

I’m talking about Kimmy Dora. Starring the super/mega comedienne for all seasons Eugene Domingo.



The plot is simple. Kimmy and Dora are twins on the opposite sides of the spectrum. Kimmy is accomplished and evil...straight out of The Devil Wears Prada. Dora is good-natured but Pentium 1 (read: slow). The twins are vying for the affection of their father (Ariel Ureta) and Johnson (Dingdong Dantes). Click HERE if you want to see the trailer.

The movie has a melodramatic twist towards the end but this is overruled by the avalanche of hilarious mishaps and antics. I swear, laughter literally rocked the cinema (it’s the movie's second week and the LFS screening is still full. Word of mouth maybe...and peer pressure). I think even my chair was howling with laughter. There were even times when the audience would clap and cheer with the side-splitting moments.

Yes, at one point I was laughing so hard that saliva escaped from my mouth (good thing the audience was also laughing so they didn’t hear the splash). TMI moment. And on the way home, I would remember the amusing scenes and I will end up laughing by myself. Even the thought of Peter Piper and the pickled pepper is enough to send me LOL and ROFLMAO. And that Dora-pretending-to-be-Kimmy sequence is immortally droll!

Eugene Domingo (who often plays sidekick to other comediennes but would always steal the limelight from them), is well-deserving of this starring role. She is a seamless actress with impeccable comedic timing and nuance. Her performance here is worthy of a best actress nod (if only comedies are not overlooked in acting derbies).

This movie first made headline when it was revealed that Piolo Pascual produced it. Which explains the splattering of cameos (the most unnerving of which was Jinggoy Estrada). But I’d say that it was Eugene’s performance which scored the home run to make this a runaway hit.

I give this movie an A+ for halving my stress level. Even the bloopers towards the closing credits gave the audience a final laughing frenzy. Everyone went out of the cinema still smiling.

But the riotous hilarity didn’t end there. Upon exit, we heard someone say: "Grabe ha, ang daming extra na artista. Sino ba dun si Eugene Domingo?"

Bravo!

Kinatay Sa UP Film Center

No, this is not a gruesome article lifted from a grubby tabloid. This is about the gruesome antics of these moral pundits supposedly appointed by our government.



I read in JZ’s blog that MTRCB has issued a preventive suspension order against UP and the UP Film Center to prevent the screening of Kinatay on July 30. Kinatay is an indie flick that wowed the Cannes crowd and nabbed the Best Director (for Brillante Mendoza) from under Quentin Tarantino and Ang Lee’s noses.

A big what?!?!

It is the year 2009 and it feels like 1984, the year immortalized by George Orwell in his classic dystopian book (from which the TV franchise Big Brother was based).



This MTRCB anomaly is a long-standing debate. I remember back in college, MTRCB was being thrown rotten tomatoes for giving an X rating to multi-awarded films like Belle Epoque, The Piano and Schindler’s List. This became the topic of our term paper in Communication II. We uncovered a lot of articles on the laughable directives set by MTRCB and the consequent petition for its abolition (which is rightful, as we concluded). Our teacher liked our topic/paper so much that he asked for copies of all the articles we used. Which is fine with us because he gave us the ever-elusive 1.0 grade (naks). I have a weird feeling he used them for his books which I often see in the Filipiniana section of the bookstore.

MTRCB fed my urge to be an investigative journalist back then and I vowed that they will be the victim of my first expose.

I hate censorship, especially the misguided one. It insults the intelligence of the people. It makes us all Neanderthals, wherein we will go around and rape each other at the sight of two boobs, instead of only one. Yes, that was the rule. One boob and you’re R-18, two boobs and you’re X. If you do the math... two pairs of boobs will make an XXX.



The irony is that MTRCB only exists to contradict and ridicule itself. Because when they "X" a movie, it makes the movie so controversial that half the population wants to watch it (in turn, the film producers actually adore the MTRCB for giving them free publicity). And in this day and age, there are a lot of means to do that.

I understand the need to censor TV shows for the sake of our kids. But for movies, an R-18 rating for a movie with reasonable sex and gore could have been enough. Or are they saying that even Filipinos 18 and above do not practice prudence and personal judgement? Tsk, tsk...the trappings of being a predominantly Catholic country.

An eye opener to the MTRCB: if a kid wants to watch porn and gore, he can just go to the nearest street corner selling pirated CDs. Or go online. He doesn’t have to go to the UP Film Center and pay 150 pesos to satisfy his raging hormones.

That makes the MTRCB such a big joke.

Just The Two Of Us

This is a classic case of he said, she said.

Just to settle all the arguments and catfights, here are the Top 15 local shows for Total Luzon (not just GMA, pun intended). Luzon accounts for almost two-thirds of the population anyway (and for total Philippines, ABS-CBN maintains a hefty lead). This is AGB Nielsen data for the week of June 28 to July 4.



1. Tayong Dalawa (ABS-CBN) – 30.8%
2. May Bukas Pa (ABS-CBN) – 30.3%
3. Only You (ABS-CBN) – 29.1%
4. Zorro (GMA-7) – 28.6%
5. Totoy Bato (GMA-7) – 27.4%
6. 24 Oras (GMA-7) – 26.9%
7. Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho (GMA-7) – 26%
8. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) – 25.3%
9. Eat Bulaga! (GMA-7) – 23.5%
10-11. Adik Sa ‘Yo (GMA-7) – 22.5%
10-11. Mel & Joey (GMA-7) – 22.5%
12. Rated K (ABS-CBN) – 22.3%
13. Imbestigador (GMA-7) – 21.9%
14. Talentadong Pinoy (TV5) – 21.5%
15. Maalaala Mo Kaya (ABS-CBN) – 21.3%

Call me biased, but a clear indicator of a show’s popularity is the conversation and gossip it generates. I don’t hear people talk about Zorro or even Marian (except in FB where she was voted unanimously as the celebrity you want to kick moonward or something like that)

Tayong dalawa na ba? Hindi, only you pa lang. Pero... may bukas pa.

Sobrang cheesy!


***

Bonus: According to haters, this is how Twilight should have ended:



Somewhere, Harry Potter must be giggling.

Girls Love Them HAIRwire

Ellen DeGeneres tweeted think link that led to her interview with Robert Pattinson a.k.a. Edward Cullens a.k.a. The Boy Who Is The Obsession of 60% Of The Female Population. (The other 30% are obsessed with The Boy Who Lived; balance 10% obsessed with the Gossip Boys)



Click here if the embedded video doesn't work.

In the case of Robert/Edward and Daniel/Harry I have always asked this question: Are the fans obsessed with the characters or the actual stars?

The answer might not be simple. With fanaticism, the line between reel and real is blurred in a blindsighting way.

I’m sorry but I really don’t get the hysterical fixation over Robert. I mean he was Cedric before and he was only catching the leftover sparks from Harry's shining star. And then came the Edward character and suddenly he has sped past Harry in worldwide eminence. Other than fangs, the only difference is the hair; which I think is the root of all the obsession. It has the Johnny Depp bizaare factor which girls also fall for.

To me, he looks like a testosterone-injected Jojo Alejar. But then again, I have poor eyesight.

Nevertheless, I must admit that anyone who can use exponentially and theoretically so casually in a sentence must have enough brain cells to sustain a smart conversation.

Sidebar: I think Kristen Stewart is too good for Twilight. I first saw her in In The Land Of Women (opposite Adam Brody and Meg Ryan). The plot of that movie sucks and Brody can’t shake off his Seth Cohen-ism but I was intrigued at the quiet intensity of Kristen’s acting. Too bad she will be pigeonholed into that Bella character. Unless she can do a Tobey Maguire.

Harry Potter And That Famous Vampire

This morning I woke up to C&D’s Top 10 Reasons Why Harry Potter OR Twilight is Better. Basically they are egging their listeners to take sides on the two biggest literary/movie phenomenon of this generation (Lord of The Rings is ancient history but I still think that was the all-time best).



The answers, as expected, are hilarious and outrageous:

* Twilight: because Edward has a Volvo...si Harry walis lang, hello!
* Harry Potter: because Edward sucks
* Twilight: only a vampire can love you forever
* Twilight: Harry Potter actors used to be kids, so you feel guilty finding them hot
* Harry Potter: Hermione and Ron stayed loyal to Harry til the end, unlike that bitch who can’t decide if she likes vampires or werewolves
* Harry Potter: because Harry beat Edward when he was still Cedric
* Harry Potter: kasi walang babaeng laging nadadapa
* Twilight: based on looks lang…mas maganda si Bella kaysa kay...Bellatrix
* Harry Potter: kasi hindi sya mukhang niluglog sa gawgaw
* Twilight: di bale nang niluglog sa gawgaw, at least hindi supot
* Twilight: si Edward makinis, si Harry may peklat
* Harry Potter: Edward maybe hard, but he is cold. Harry can always use the spell...Expecto Petroleum!
* Harry Potter: Kasi sa Twilight, Book One pa lang dapat pinakain na si Bella sa vampires to spare us from all the drama and kaartehan nya
* Undecided: someone who sucks or someone with a big wand?
* No answer: pareho silang bulok!...the best pa din ang Okey Ka, Fairy Ko

My Two Knuts: Harry Potter...because Rowling showed us a world beyond our wildest imagination. While I will admit that Twilight has a "kilig" factor, it is still a fantasy Mills and Boon novel.

How about you?



***

Late this afternoon at the office, conversation suddenly shifted to Harry Potter. Everyone’s pretty excited about the movie. Soon we were throwing each other Harry Potter trivia questions like they were chic jinxes. But the trivia questions soon ventured into cornball territory and everyone was laughing their Muggle heart out.

Q: Anong oil ang gamit ni Snape sa buhok?
A: All of the above

Q: Kaano-ano ni Dumbledore si Enchanted Kingdom?
A: Acquaintance lang...nagkakilala sila sa pila ng Senior Citizen

Q: Saan takot si Harry Potter?
A: Hindi sa Dementors...sa sebo de macho!

Do you have other bewildering Harry Potter questions?

Isang tulog na lang...

From Borat With Love

A few years back, I watched Borat (full title is Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan) on DVD just to check what the fuss was all about.



I found the movie vulgar, shocking, repulsive and... brilliant!

Yes, it’s one hell of a politically incorrect film but I don’t think it should be taken seriously. You will feel scandalized after watching this movie and for good reasons. Borat doesn’t hold back, he insults every social stigma you can think of. In fact, it is Borat’s disrespectful nature that makes the film deliciously hilarious.

The main brilliance of Borat is that it jokes about our own ignorance and chauvinism. It is a taunting lesson in self-ridicule.

Call me bonkers but I have placed Sacha Baron Cohen (whose alter ego before Borat is Ali G) in a pedestal reserved for comic geniuses. I have been following him (well, Borat to be exact) on Twitter and he never fails to make me laugh with his cheeky wisecracks.

Last Father’s Day he tweeted: I bought my father a cemetery plot for Father’s day. It’s next to my house so i don’t have to visit him every year, that’s just annoying.

On the death of the famous Oxiclean guy: I am going to cry every time i use oxiclean, because it burns my eyes not because he died.

On MJ’s death: Death comes in threes, first Farrah then Michael Jackson...let’s finish on a high note with Perez!!

On the now famous photo of Megan Fox and the boy with a yellow rose: He should have tried passing her acting abilities.

Self explanatory: If hookers have a heart of gold what are their va jay jays made out of?

He even pokes fun at his girlfriend: After watching 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' my penis started wearing a feather boa. It tickles!

Just yesterday, I got a tweet link from Borat and it lead to a recent guesting of Bruno on The David Letterman Show to promote, well, Bruno. Bruno is the new character conjured by Baron Cohen. Whereas Borat is a bigot, Bruno is a she-bitch. But both share the same genes of comic hysteria. See for yourself.



Click here just in case the embedded video doesn't work.

After Harry Potter, this is the next movie I want to see. Interesting to find out who can work his wand better. Pun intended.

The King Is Gone (RIP, MJ)

News does travel fast these days.

It’s just past 6 in the morning.

One moment I was blogging and tweeting and the next moment everyone is tweeting the sad news.

I got it via tweets from Ryan Seacrest, Mandy Moore, Chris Daughtry, Ashton and Delamar: Michael Jackson just passed away due to cardiac arrest.

Gone too soon? Quite ironic, I know.


(This is the cover for his now-aptly-titled single)

I just hope his detractors will stop the hatred and remember his unparalleled contribution to the industry.

And not so long ago...Farrah Fawcett also breathed her last. To the younger generation who may not know her, she was one of the original Charlie’s Angels. RIP.



Two icons...two legends in one day.

The lights must be half-dimmed in Hollywood.

***

Just a breather from these sad news. Trust Borat for the comic relief.

He just tweeted: Death comes in threes, first Farrah then Michael Jackson..lets finish on a high note with perez!!

He was referring to recent entertainment headlines on the violent fight between celeb gossip blogger Perez Hilton and Black-Eyed Peas. What can I say...Boom boom pow!

Not politically correct I know, but you can't help but admire Borat's wisecracks.

I also liked John Mayer's version of this news: Dazed in the studio. A major strand of our cultural DNA has left us. RIP MJ

I see a Michael Jackson tribute album on the horizon.

Transformed (When Exhaustion Meets The Eye)

I was lucky enough to be thrown some tickets to the special screening of Transformers 2: Revenge of The Fallen (thanks to M and R). And lucky enough to have a meeting at Gateway so I was there in time for the screening.




Bad luck smiled at me when there was already a loooong queue at Cinema 3. So we ended up being seated at the second row. Stupid Adidas placed markers on the seats that we thought the other seats were reserved for Adidas sponsors. It was only later that we realized that almost all the seats have the Adidas logos. Really poor and shameful marketing ploy!

Ten minutes into the movie, I started feeling dizzy. Because I was too close to the screen! Why oh why, can’t they start the seats a comfortable distance away from the screen? Tsk, tsk.

Twenty minutes into the movie and I wanted to puke. No kidding. So there were times when I had to close my eyes to quell the dizziness. I think I ended up sleeping in intervals. I would only wake up or open my eyes when I hear Megan’s voice. Or when there is a really loud and theatre-shaking explosion.

I won’t write a full review yet coz most people are not as lucky as me to watch it on the first day (yabang!). But over-all the movie is great, especially for a sequel. You can tell that Michael Bay and company placed some real effort into making it.

In fact they kinda overdid it in parts. It was visually exhausting and indulgent. You are not allowed to feel anything because you are bombarded with fight scenes after fight scenes after fight scenes. So all the robots started to look the same (or was it because of where I was seated?). Also, to kiss-ass to its female audience, Transformers 2 delivered cheese like a Greenwich Pizza. Apparently Shia was not enough for progesterone magnet.

Things to watch out for: Megan’s boobies, Megan’s thighs and Megan’s tight pants that amazingly remain spotlessly white in the Egyptian desert (expect that on Home TV Shopping soon...Amazing White-Everytime Pants). Shia’s huge nose. The Fray’s new song played during the cheesy moments (what is this, Grey’s Anatomy?).

J said Josh Duhamel looked liked a more manly Ryan Seacrest. And she is right! I expected Josh to say “Dim the lights...the Decepticons are here” anytime.

So that’s my two cents for now. Maybe I’ll try to catch it again…with better seats this time.

Oh...here’s the other movie I can’t wait to see:

Fragments #4

In one of those random spontaneous moments, we went ahead with a long-time plan. A trip to the movies on a Friday night. I was at first nonchalant about it. I won’t be a victim of their “Best In Drawing” acts. My philosophy: Ok if we go, alright if we don’t. And of course “Kung gusto may paraan, kung ayaw may dahilan.”

But low and behold, we were at the mall as soon as we wrapped up some last-minute work. We deserve this after all. We didn’t have some time off last weekend because of some VIP guest from abroad. We prepared damn hard for it...short of rolling a red carpet and hanging garlands on their necks. I know. Very GMA Supershow. (Shish, this so dates me. I’m sure the kids of today have no idea what I’m talking about).

We got LFS tickets to Knowing. They said it was a horror flick but when I read the posted summary at the ticket counter, apparently it was an apocalyptic suspense-thriller. For the record, I don’t like Nicolas Cage. He is so over-rated. I remain dumbfounded at how he managed to snag an Oscar with Leaving Las Vegas. But I did enjoy the two instalments of National Treasure. I remember watching the second part on the loooong flight to Spain last year.

But I digress. As we wait for the last full show schedule, we went to H&E to wolf down a full meal complete with a free dessert courtesy of the tons of coupons from V. Lately, I decided to turn semi-vegetarian again so I tried their vegetarian omelette. It was so good that you don’t realize you are eating bell peppers and zucchini. Five spoons for that. But the sourdough bread was so ordinary. Half spoon for that.

At 10:30, we entered Cinema 7 of Trinoma.

I will not post a full review yet of Knowing. I know majority have yet to watch it. But to sum it up, it was an enjoyable movie. The suspense was unbearably effective that I would lower myself on my seat to prepare myself for the moment (I think I lowered the seat too much it stuck). There was a time when I had to close my eyes. V would smother my arm every time the whispering people would appear. And AD would scream that she can’t take it anymore and is ready to run out anytime. Only P seems unaffected. Either she was far from me that I didn’t notice or she can’t see clearly. LOL, peace!

The catastrophe/disaster scenes remained frozen in my mind. They seem shockingly real. My tooth reacted at the sound of metal ripping against metal (Sensodyne, please!). I just didn’t like how the story ended. But the message it puts across is earnest and honorable. Expect a full review soon.

Sidebar: About a month ago, I had no choice but to watch a movie at The Block. This will mark the last time that I will watch at any SM Cinemas (except perhaps, MOA). Their cinemas suck. I didn’t know the Balcony-Orchestra partition still existed. The seats are hard, the floors are sticky. The viewing crowd was rowdy and inconsiderate, to say the least.

This memory whizzes back as I was enjoying the movie at Trinoma. To compare, Trinoma Cinemas has plush seats and nice CRs. The THX sound was so fantastic that there were times when I really had to look sidewards and backwards because the sounds seem to be coming from there. And the crowd was well-behaved.


***



I am writing this blog in darkness. Earth Hour began 19 minutes ago.

I am only using the screen light. And there were some light streaming from the street lamps (shame on our municipals heads for not observing this advocacy). Kinda hurtful in the eyes but that’s only a small price to pay for helping the Earth.

I’m really glad that media and social networking (even texts and blogs) was very active in promoting this Earth Hour. This may be a small act on our part but if a million of us will do this, the collective effect will be immense.

Update: I heard news this morning that Philippines was the #1 participant in this global Earth Hour (according to Worldwide Wildlife Fund). Finally, something we can all be truly proud of! We even beat Australia (the proprietor of the Earth Hour). It shows we are a nation that cares.


***

I’ve always rooted for the underdogs. Those who are always flying under the radar and refuses to succumb to the trappings of superstardom.

Ever since she offered us Candy, I’ve been smitten.

This is her latest work and last week they released the track list and cover.



The cover is a bit too mature and seems incompatible to her folksy new music. It looks like her music is standard or traditional (think Michael Buble). Regardless, I am still mesmerized at her beauty.

Her new album is already on pre-order at iTunes. I’d order it if they allow it here in the Philippines. But I already have the lead single (I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week). It’s a fun, tongue-in-cheek, mildy sarcastic, folksy song reminiscent of Sheryl Crow’s Soak Up The Sun. I don’t know why local radio still doesn’t have it. Oh well, the downside of being indie (Moore is on an indie label, released through a major label. Yeah, it’s complicated).

Her official website also sports a new look in preparation for the new album release. She is also a blogger and these are excerpts from her blog. I have to say that we have the same “writing voice,” if you know what I mean. Check out for yourself.

“I'm fully aware that when some people hear my name in a musical context, it's not often equated to anything earth-shattering. Yet, in many ways, this new record finds itself in a similar vein to the previous one, "Wild Hope." While “Amanda Leigh” was recorded in a much more concise period of time, both albums just feel like a real body of work, more connected to each other – both personally and musically.

When starting to really brainstorm about where the next musical venture should live, I decided to reach out to a few favorite artists of mine to see if they'd be interested in collaborating. I met Mike Viola. I quickly realized that Mike and I shared a love of so much of the same music and he innately understood the direction my music was taking me and where I wanted to take the music.

Suffice it to say, our common admiration (or perhaps, obsession) for the likes of Todd Rundgren, Joni Mitchell, CSNY and Nilsson, among many others, ran amok throughout the writing and eventual recording experience together.

From my perspective, the process of co-writing is rather vulnerable and can often be fairly hit or miss. It really takes the right partnership to allow honesty and comfort to reign. What worked so well with Mike and I was that we obviously brought different things to the table but worked from the same place.... we had one common interest in mind. We pushed one another and never thought twice about fearlessly stepping up to the plate with any and all ideas.

Sure, it was a deviation from the way I've recorded music in the past, but it felt like the only way to go about working on this record."

From www.mandymoore.com.

How many pop stars do you know who can use the words inanely, concise, suffice it to say like they were everyday words ? And this is not from a ghost blogger writing for Moore. I’ve watched countless interviews of Moore and she really speaks this way.

I always gravitate towards the smart girls. I hate shallow people. Sorry, Ms. Spears.

***

I’ve re-mastered the art of indifference lately. After all the trauma and the drama, I have treaded a path that is perpendicular or sometimes parallel to my self-proclaimed Dementors . I am in a different plane. You do the math.

Cold blood is a shock to my veins but I welcome it. My caustic venom level has resurged.

***

The ink is running toward the page, it's chasing off the days
Look back at your feet and that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me

I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home

Fragments #2

I had my taste of the first hell week this year. First there were the trade checks that gave more questions than answers. Then problems in my promo execution here and there. Plus, some people I desperately need to talk to are out of the country. And like some bad icing on a doomed cake...the first Business Review for the year! And to make it even worse, they changed the format 2 days prior to the actual presentation. As a consequence, we had to stay until 1AM to finish our presentation.

Every pore in my body is just screaming from fatigue. I literally cannot drive to Makati for the business review so I had to hitch a ride with an officemate.

Just some quick “thank yous” to F and M, who bought us some time and gave us some slack in the end. Whew!

***



Come Monday (Sunday in the US), the famous golden statuette named Oscar will again take centerstage. The Academy will recognize the best achievements in film for 2007.

I am quite riled up for the Oscars because for it’s been quite a while since we have this “popular and accepted” line-up. Previously, the more low-profile, high-brow and really dark movies took the crown. Think No Country For Old Men, which took most of the statuettes last year. This year, the best picture nominees were more mainstream and accessible. Hence, more people can relate to it and celebrate their predicted Oscar victory.

Not to mention that I recently watched some of the frontrunners and they are really some of the best in years.

However, the trend “from Globes to Oscars” will be broken this year because back-to-back Globe winner Kate Winslet was not even nominated for best supporting actress. Plus, Benjamin Button had the most number of nominations (almost matching the all-time record set by Titanic) so it has a good shot at stealing the Best Picture statuette. But tracking the other awards (SAG, Director’s Guild, BAFTA), Slumdog Millionaire is still the frontrunner.

Here are my fearless forecasts for the major categories for tomorrow’s Oscars:

BEST PICTURE
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who I Want To Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST ACTOR
Who Will Win: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler
Who I Want To Win: Sean Penn for Milk
Note: This is the most debatable category. The Academy might be turned off with Ruorke and go for the more “serious” Penn. Rourke won most of the other awards (Globes, BAFTA). Penn won the Screen Actors Guild.

BEST ACTRESS
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet for The Reader
Who I Want To Win: Kate Winslet

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight
Who I Want To Win: Heath Ledger
Note: If Ledger will win, this will just be the second Oscar to be awarded post-humus.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Who I Want To Win: : Penelope or Marisa Tomei (for The Wrestler)

***

I remember some years ago, Manila Bulletin had a “Guess the Oscar Winners” contest. It was the time when American Beauty was the frontrunner. I sent my fearless forecast (I don't remember them now but I think it included Annette Benning and Kevin Spacey) and come Oscar Day, I was correct in all the major categories.

But I got quite busy with my writing/editing deadlines that I forgot about the contest. I only remembered it some months after.

There were five winners and I was one of them. However, I forfeited the prize. It was several month’s worth of movie passes.

Well, I always believed that if it’s not meant for you, it won’t be yours.

***

Yesterday, I had to rush home after some quick trade checks to help my youngest brother prepare for his first JS Prom. Louie was quite excited as this is his first time to don a suit.

I am again in my fatherly mode. It feels weird seeing them off during these life milestones. How you’ve watched them grow from cute babies to boisterous teens. You realize how time passes by and how old you are. Louie is 16 years my senior so technically, he could pass as my son. But not looks-wise, of course. The running joke is that people think that Oliver, the third sibling, is our Kuya because he is the biggest and on the darker side of the skintone spectrum.

Since the three of us have almost the same height and built, we can share clothes and shoes, especially the formal ones. I remember when my second brother competed in a co-ed pageant a couple of years ago, he ransacked my wardrobe and took home all the “Best In” special awards.

And this time, Louie was named Mr. Junior ’09. What can I say...it runs in the family!



***

I don’t recall much of my JS Prom. For our barkada trio, it was tantamount to “work” because we were in charge of the stage, program, invitation, etc. Although we belong to the “popular” club, we are also a little too shy at taking centerstage. So anything that involves programs or doing anything onstage brings us near nervous breakdown.

I remember my Senior’s Day, the pre-graduation ceremony, because of my jitters in delivering a speech. To add to the torture, my English teaching pulled me aside minutes before the speech and told me that I should deliver my last paragraph in Tagalog for more impact. She, off all people, should know that I am more comfortable speaking in English!

But she was right, of course. Previous to the last paragraph, I almost ruined the speech because I glanced too long at the audience and I when I glanced back at my paper, I forgot which paragraph I just read. It was a few seconds before I found it again. My friends say that they didn’t notice it (or were they being nice?). When I came to my closing paragraph, I took a slight pause (an inaudible sigh) and shifted to Tagalog. The audience was shocked in a good way and they gave me a thunderous applause. On the sidelines, my English teacher was all smiles.