Twilight descended upon us. She said we can go.
I begged her to wait until it is completely dark. I said I find it difficult driving in this time of day when the light argues with the darkness.
She said I am like a dragon. Dragons can see well in the light of day and they can even see better in the dark of night. But their eyesight is at its weakest in the failing light.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Irresistible
It is 2AM Tuesday night and I am still wide awake. I can’t put this book down. Just a few pages more.
Reading Anita Shreve is one the best escapes one can have. An escape from the torments of this tragic world into another world that is demarcated by loss, longing and personal wreckage beyond the limits of the human spirit.
In Resistance, Shreve meticulously designs a romantic tragedy amidst the atrocious fabric of war. It is 1943 and Europe is in the height of devastation. In a Nazi-occupied Belgian village, an American bomber plane fell from the skies like a cursed gift from heaven. The pilot was rescued and sheltered by the wife of a resistance worker in the secret room of their house. An impossible bond unfolds as the wife and the pilot learns to feed off each other’s needs, both physical and spiritual. But this pure accidental relationship will soon be tainted with betrayal, desperation and the greater repercussions of war. While a doomed ending is inevitable, the reader will marvel at the sacrifices and secret pain that the characters endure.
In her signature fashion, Shreve punishes her readers in their search for the character’s redemption. Resistance is at its exquisite best when you realize that there are only a few pages left and still there are a thousand loose ends to the story. In the last ten pages, she scrupulously wraps it up but leaves a lot to the reader’s imagination. So you have the urge to haunt Shreve down and demand the details.
Taken lightly, Resistance tells the story of resistance workers in Belgium. In local history, they can be compared to the propagandistas of Rizal’s time. Taken deeply, Resistance is a test of courage and commitment. It is a search for hope in circumstances so terrible; for dignity in such disreputable times.
In this book, Shreve reiterates that she is an intelligent and skilled writer. She has mastered simplistic yet delicate prose that does not insult the readers. She knows how to plunge her characters in dilemma and let their spirit and frailty lift them up.
I have devoured four Shreve books so far and I can still remember each of them vividly. That’s how remarkable they are. It is only Fortune’s Rock that I can’t get past the first two chapters. Next on my reading list: Light On Snow.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Broken Strings
The glittering pages felt like a slap on my face. The exalting melody ended before it can even be sung. Like some faith that died before Jesus came. History tossed mercilessly under the rugs.
I can carry on being outside looking in. That is so excruciatingly normal for me. And I am used to getting less than what I put in. I am that stigmatized. Destiny has written my name in sand, erased by the ceaseless turn of the tide. But I swore to myself the sound of it will reverberate in echoes.
You can kick me off track with just a few words. But history and truth are on my side. I’m better than that and you may have the right and the excuse to act as you will. I will not play the fall guy anymore. The willing victim. The sacrificial blood has been drained from my veins not too long ago.
I turn to dust. The type that blindsights you in the eyes.
The heat that is alien to my skin awakens the dissident within. Yet I still play on broken strings.
***
I was there
When glory turned to pain
When sunshine turned to rain again
Shifting sands, changing times
I am a memory
***
Image courtesy of btk-queen on Flickr.
Fragments #3
PICKS OF THE MONTH
Here are twelve songs that are heating up the charts or will soon catapult to the top of the charts. Download now!
• Broken Strings (James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado)
• Talk You Down (The Script)
• I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week (Mandy Moore)
• Northern Downpour (Panic At The Disco)
• Feel This (Bethany Joy Galleoti)
• Love and Sex and Magic (Ciara feat. Justin Timberlake)
• Make You Feel My Love (Adele)
• Antukin (Rico Blanco)
• Everybody Knows (John Legend)
• Thinking Of You (Katy Perry)
• Use Somebody (Kings of Leone)
• Smother Me (The Used)
***
AMERICAN IDOL TURNS BAD AND DANGEROUS
This week was my first time to watch the Final 13 of the current American Idol season. Although I have watched some of the city audition episodes and selection of the Final 36, I missed most of the episodes because of my hectic schedule. Hence, I know most of them only by face, not by name. Thank heavens for Wikipedia!
This week they featured the songs of Michael Jackson. For the record, I am not a fan of MJ as a person, more of his only his music. After all, that he is the world’s bestselling solo artist must mean something. The hundred millions of people who bought his albums can’t be wrong. He has an impressive musicology that shatters the walls of discrimination and bridges generation gaps.
While some of MJ’s songs are karaoke staples, I was shocked at how most of the contestants stumbled with his songs, even the familiar ones. I saw this happen also in last season’s Mariah Carey week. But that is understandable because of Carey’s range and the difficult rifts and intonations that have become her signature style. With MJ, his songs are proving to be as deceptive and as complicated as his personality. You thought it is simple until you get to sing it. Plus, like what the judges always point out, it is always risqué to sing the legends. You really have to outdo yourself because you will be inevitably compared. You have to bring your own style to the table to one-up the legends (think David Cook’s Always Be My Baby which has been over-killed by local radio).
For this week, the standout was Adam Lambert with his highly-charged version of Black Or White. He took the songs as his own and his stage presence is ever rousing. I also enjoyed Matt Giraud’s rendition of Human Nature, although I was thinking that he was borrowing heavily from Justin Timberlake’s falsetto-laden style of R&B (before Randy Jackson even pointed it out). His expression, lip movement and even his looks eerily mirrors Timberlake’s. But it does work. The third best will be Danny Gokey (the media-proclaimed frontrunner) with his performance of P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing).
The most appalling (ah-poll-ling as Simon Cowell would say it) performance belongs to that Indian guy. He takes Beat It and ruins it to the pulp (pun intended). His voice lacked the emotion needed by the song so there is certain disconnect with the false energy of his singing and his lifeless expression.
I already have my bets on who should end-up as the Final Two. But I won’t say it here because I have a history of jinxing my favourites. But it will be a showdown similar to Cook-Archuleta from last season. But this time both will rock (wink, wink).
***
GONE TOO SOON
Last week, local showbiz mourned the death of a local legend. I will be lying (or riding the bandwagon) if I will say that I am a big fan of Francis Magalona. But I have his music on my iPod. For me, his best piece is Kaleidoscope World with its searing yet simple lyrics and its striking sampling of The Beatle’s Here, There and Everywhere. And of course Cold Summer Nights, one of the best I-want-you-back songs.
Francis M will be best remembered for planting the seeds of rap in local music. And how he infused fervent nationalism and social commentary in his songs. Mga Kababayan Ko might probably be his most meaningful project, but the problem with that song is it became very periodic. It was pigeonholed in that era and lacks the timeless appeal of say, Kaleidoscope World. It seems corny if you sing it now, but it was the anthem during the height of its popularity.
Anyway, he had a life well-lived and left his legacy as THE master rapper (I wonder where that places Andrew E). The tributes were everywhere. Even MTV changed their logo as a sign of respect; they juxtaposed Francis M’s face shot in their logo.
***
FREAKY MONDAY
What to hear something eerie/freaky?
Last Monday, I had to prepare early for my flight to Cagayan De Oro. I was getting ready to leave Bulacan by 4AM. I dressed and put on my sports watch. Only to find out that it was dead, the face was blank. The battery probably conked out fast because of its pedometer feature.
I left my other watches in my pad in QC. So I decided to wear our corporate watch. It was my first time to wear it because it was only that weekend that I had its strap adjusted. I put it on. The hands were frozen, it was not moving.
The word omen crept into my thought but I hastily pushed it away.
After takeoff, I put my iPod on so I can zone out and sleep. I placed the playlist on shuffle. After three random songs, Kaleidoscope World came up. Images of Francis M lying on a casket. I quickly forwarded it to the next track. Cold Summer Nights. There is 2-in-2,358 chance that those two songs would play on shuffle…1-in-2,358 chance for it to come consecutively!!!
Halfway through the flight to CDO, the pilot announced that we need to do an emergency landing in Cebu. They did not say the reason, but obviously there was something that is compromising our safety. I remembered there was a weird, unwanted sound somewhere near the fuselage when we took off.
To cut the story short, it was an uneventful trip. Insert of sigh of relief here.
***
Comparisons are easily done
Once you had the taste of perfection
How do I get better once I had the best?
Here are twelve songs that are heating up the charts or will soon catapult to the top of the charts. Download now!
• Broken Strings (James Morrison feat. Nelly Furtado)
• Talk You Down (The Script)
• I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week (Mandy Moore)
• Northern Downpour (Panic At The Disco)
• Feel This (Bethany Joy Galleoti)
• Love and Sex and Magic (Ciara feat. Justin Timberlake)
• Make You Feel My Love (Adele)
• Antukin (Rico Blanco)
• Everybody Knows (John Legend)
• Thinking Of You (Katy Perry)
• Use Somebody (Kings of Leone)
• Smother Me (The Used)
***
AMERICAN IDOL TURNS BAD AND DANGEROUS
This week was my first time to watch the Final 13 of the current American Idol season. Although I have watched some of the city audition episodes and selection of the Final 36, I missed most of the episodes because of my hectic schedule. Hence, I know most of them only by face, not by name. Thank heavens for Wikipedia!
This week they featured the songs of Michael Jackson. For the record, I am not a fan of MJ as a person, more of his only his music. After all, that he is the world’s bestselling solo artist must mean something. The hundred millions of people who bought his albums can’t be wrong. He has an impressive musicology that shatters the walls of discrimination and bridges generation gaps.
While some of MJ’s songs are karaoke staples, I was shocked at how most of the contestants stumbled with his songs, even the familiar ones. I saw this happen also in last season’s Mariah Carey week. But that is understandable because of Carey’s range and the difficult rifts and intonations that have become her signature style. With MJ, his songs are proving to be as deceptive and as complicated as his personality. You thought it is simple until you get to sing it. Plus, like what the judges always point out, it is always risqué to sing the legends. You really have to outdo yourself because you will be inevitably compared. You have to bring your own style to the table to one-up the legends (think David Cook’s Always Be My Baby which has been over-killed by local radio).
For this week, the standout was Adam Lambert with his highly-charged version of Black Or White. He took the songs as his own and his stage presence is ever rousing. I also enjoyed Matt Giraud’s rendition of Human Nature, although I was thinking that he was borrowing heavily from Justin Timberlake’s falsetto-laden style of R&B (before Randy Jackson even pointed it out). His expression, lip movement and even his looks eerily mirrors Timberlake’s. But it does work. The third best will be Danny Gokey (the media-proclaimed frontrunner) with his performance of P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing).
The most appalling (ah-poll-ling as Simon Cowell would say it) performance belongs to that Indian guy. He takes Beat It and ruins it to the pulp (pun intended). His voice lacked the emotion needed by the song so there is certain disconnect with the false energy of his singing and his lifeless expression.
I already have my bets on who should end-up as the Final Two. But I won’t say it here because I have a history of jinxing my favourites. But it will be a showdown similar to Cook-Archuleta from last season. But this time both will rock (wink, wink).
***
GONE TOO SOON
Last week, local showbiz mourned the death of a local legend. I will be lying (or riding the bandwagon) if I will say that I am a big fan of Francis Magalona. But I have his music on my iPod. For me, his best piece is Kaleidoscope World with its searing yet simple lyrics and its striking sampling of The Beatle’s Here, There and Everywhere. And of course Cold Summer Nights, one of the best I-want-you-back songs.
Francis M will be best remembered for planting the seeds of rap in local music. And how he infused fervent nationalism and social commentary in his songs. Mga Kababayan Ko might probably be his most meaningful project, but the problem with that song is it became very periodic. It was pigeonholed in that era and lacks the timeless appeal of say, Kaleidoscope World. It seems corny if you sing it now, but it was the anthem during the height of its popularity.
Anyway, he had a life well-lived and left his legacy as THE master rapper (I wonder where that places Andrew E). The tributes were everywhere. Even MTV changed their logo as a sign of respect; they juxtaposed Francis M’s face shot in their logo.
***
FREAKY MONDAY
What to hear something eerie/freaky?
Last Monday, I had to prepare early for my flight to Cagayan De Oro. I was getting ready to leave Bulacan by 4AM. I dressed and put on my sports watch. Only to find out that it was dead, the face was blank. The battery probably conked out fast because of its pedometer feature.
I left my other watches in my pad in QC. So I decided to wear our corporate watch. It was my first time to wear it because it was only that weekend that I had its strap adjusted. I put it on. The hands were frozen, it was not moving.
The word omen crept into my thought but I hastily pushed it away.
After takeoff, I put my iPod on so I can zone out and sleep. I placed the playlist on shuffle. After three random songs, Kaleidoscope World came up. Images of Francis M lying on a casket. I quickly forwarded it to the next track. Cold Summer Nights. There is 2-in-2,358 chance that those two songs would play on shuffle…1-in-2,358 chance for it to come consecutively!!!
Halfway through the flight to CDO, the pilot announced that we need to do an emergency landing in Cebu. They did not say the reason, but obviously there was something that is compromising our safety. I remembered there was a weird, unwanted sound somewhere near the fuselage when we took off.
To cut the story short, it was an uneventful trip. Insert of sigh of relief here.
***
Comparisons are easily done
Once you had the taste of perfection
How do I get better once I had the best?
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Three Wishes
They say bad luck comes in threes. Well to balance things out, I’d say that good things also come in threes.
These past weeks, three of the people I treasure dearly celebrated their birthdays. I interact with two of them on a regular basis, even if the other one is miles away. The other one is a long-time friend since my “holy” elementary days.
This space will not be enough to express my appreciation and gratitude to this threesome. They have championed me in countless ways. I allowed them privy to my personal life but they never took it in a bad light. These are the people who hold on to what I am to them and not how I am perceived by other people. At the end of the day, they are the only people who matters to me.
In this life where you seldom meet enduringly great people, these three are definitely keepers. If I were to walk through life with just these people, I know I will be fine.
The Brother I Never Had
I am the eldest in a brood of four and my other two brothers are generations away, in age. Hence, I never had someone to talk to about things or guide me in my moments of weakness. Or someone who will tell me: “I have your back.”
He was my buddy from the first moment that I stepped into the halls of this corporate jungle. I can still remember how he patiently taught me to do excel worksheets during my first day. We instantly clicked coz we share the same passion in a lot of things: music, movies and madness (the good kind). From then on, he has been my run-to, even if we are now moving in different circles.
Two of my fondest moments with him include that out-of-town trip several years ago, with the old clique (before corporate pressure built the space between). And of course...our adventures and misadventures in a land far, far away. What an amazing race!
One of the best things about him is his unwavering principles. Like me, he gravitates towards what is true and what is right. Even if it meant going against the tide. He also has a deep understanding of human nature, something we also share mutually.
Above all, ours is a friendship that transcends the “P” world. And that says a lot. He has fought a lot of battles for me and with me. He has shown genuine support in all my decisions. He always understands my every move and shares in my every pain.
Bro, even if I want to spell it out here, I don’t need to. What you have done for me is beyond words. You know that you are the Simon who helps ease the cross that I bear. I am a better and stronger person because of you.
I wish that you will continue being the light for others. Happy birthday, B.
The Distant Best Friend
Hers is a solid friendship that crosses the distance. From the first moment I “met” her years ago, I was already at ease at her effortless companionship. I have always said that I have the talent for distinguishing if somebody will be worth my while. And her voice alone resonates with comfortable affection.
As the years dragged on, she became my distant best friend. Even if she is miles away, the warmth feels like she is just at arm’s length. She somehow knows when I am distressed, when I am happy. She has a staggering belief and trust in the person that I am.
In a world where realism is wrapped in self-preservation and fraud, she was breath of fresh air. Like with the aforementioned brother I never had, she was “real” to me, in the sense that she never played the “P” card. She is one of the few people who I allowed to enter my very personal space and the more she understood, the more she cared.
She was with us through the roller-coaster ride. She was caught in a personal crossfire, but she was brave enough to battle it out FOR us, not against each of us. She was with us through the laughter and through most of the disturbing silence. She was our sounding board because she will always listen and in the process will make sense of what we are going through.
For your birthday, I wish you wings and sky... and time to fly. I wish you a world that you can explore and that elusive happiness that will not depend on anything or anyone, but one that comes from within. I know you have it in you.
Happy birthday, M!
The Good Luck Girl
I have known her since I was transferred to that oh-so-religious school. She was one of the popular kids, being the daughter of one of the best English teachers. But it was only during our sixth grade that she moved into our circle. And we have stuck since then.
We fondly call her Jinx, because of all her bad luck and misadventures. But that was long ago. Now she is one fine lass and has fulfilled one of her dreams, to be a surgeon/doctor. She is now the resident jinx (LOL!)
We celebrated her birthday on the exact date (the first time this happened) coz thankfully she was not on duty. She told me how she was depressed the day before her birthday because one of her patients just died during surgery. And to think that they were just prepping him up for the surgery. It’s like he was gone before they can even do something. Add to that the finger-pointing on who should be responsible for the incident.
Lighten up! Don’t punish yourself too much. As I told you on our way home, things happen for a reason and there are things that are beyond our control. As cruel as it sounds, death maybe the blessing that your patient needs. As for your colleagues, they will always have something to say. Just do your work, do your best. They can never fault you for that.
For your birthday, I want you to make the most out of life. You were always and still remains the “safe” one. I know you had your share of misadventures but that doesn’t mean you will stop exploring. Experience LIFE.
Happy birthday, JA!
***
Photo courtesy of Photography_is_magic at flickr.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
The Value of Nothing
I sit still, mesmerized by the delicious silence of my own making. The blinding sunshine highlights the plethora of colors around me. But I shiver from the cool air; it seems like the weather is caught in a battle between hot and cold. Somewhere in the background, I hear the laughter and screams of people, the rickety sound of machinery and some sinister tinkling music.
For a split second, I was intoxicated by déjà vu. This was the same place. But somehow the memories are gone, pulled from the stratosphere and smashed by the gravity of my mistake. It seems so distant...in another life.
I allowed the frozen pictures of time to come rushing by. But no matter how hard I try, I could barely conjure it. The imagery is there but there is nothing to associate it with. Not even pain. Wisdom has silenced these emotions.
Sometimes I hear their voices but I don’t recognize it. They are lost in the cacophony of meaningless sounds. They have all drifted into that infamous obscurity.
The venom is out. I have found my new centre of adrenaline. They will never know me as something other than the luminary that I was polished to be. No glimpse of what lies beneath. It is something far beyond their comprehension anyway.
Deliverance is my breath. I wonder how they are feeling. How does it feel to be a sigh, a mere footnote?
***
Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the moment
Cherish every impressive instant
Now we don’t live, we just exist
We run through our lives
Together, we are alone
I realize the value of nothing
And I learn where I have to be
Nowhere
Your help just hurts
Thorns on my side
So if you’d like to reach to me
Best leave me alone
***
Photo courtesy of Darwin Bell on flickr.
Friday Night Lights...Out
Since college, I have been a fan of Grisham and his battle-of-good-vs-evil law thrillers. Months ago, maybe a year even, I bought a Grisham book that was on sale; but it was only now that I picked it up from my “Must Read” stack. It was unusually thin for a Grisham novel, almost as thin as a Harlequin paperback. Then I realized it was also not his usual courtroom drama, for this time Grisham spins his story on the football field.
Bleachers is an all-American manly dramatic tale about football. The football hotshots of the small town of Messina journey back to their town to pay tribute to their coach who is in his deathbed. It has been fifteen years and Neely Crenshaw is caught up as the past collides with and the present. As they wait for the Coach to breathe his last, physically and emotionally tender stories were unearthed, dark secrets revealed. But one difficult question has to be answered...Did they love or hate Coach Eddie Rake?
I will summarize their answer this way: Legends become legend for a reason, or in this case, for many reasons. Love him or hate him, Coach Rake was an integral and revolutionary force in their lives.
I have always conceded that the greatest irony in life is when you realize the importance of a person when he is gone. Suffice to say, the most important people leave a void in our life that will never be filled. In contrast the forgettable people leave...without us even realizing it. Or maybe life was even better without them so their loss barely registers.
Grisham defines football games in such as way that you can actually hear the roar of the crowd, the collision of padded bodies and the abusive tongue-lashing. The story is so charged with testosterone that it becomes a stark contrast to the poignant moments in the end. Grisham uses a tone that bristles with simplicity and sincerity...it was so sincere that it actually hurts. If the burly men in the story wept, then the readers will have a difficult time fighting the inevitable tears. Remember... boys don’t cry, MEN do.
Another beauty of Bleachers is that it teases with subplots that were never fully explored. Like the political machinery of the school and the town, the racial discrimination and the evocative love story. They are just mentioned in passing but somehow each strikes a chord so that the reader ends up mulling over them. It seems like Grisham weaved some underlying agenda beneath the main story. And it does work.
Reading Bleachers revived some echoes of the past. As Neely recounts his glory days, you can’t help but wander into your own reverie. His story fuels your own burning middle-age self-scrutiny.
Long after the field lights are dimmed out, there are people whose very light will shine on indefinitely.
Bleachers is an all-American manly dramatic tale about football. The football hotshots of the small town of Messina journey back to their town to pay tribute to their coach who is in his deathbed. It has been fifteen years and Neely Crenshaw is caught up as the past collides with and the present. As they wait for the Coach to breathe his last, physically and emotionally tender stories were unearthed, dark secrets revealed. But one difficult question has to be answered...Did they love or hate Coach Eddie Rake?
I will summarize their answer this way: Legends become legend for a reason, or in this case, for many reasons. Love him or hate him, Coach Rake was an integral and revolutionary force in their lives.
I have always conceded that the greatest irony in life is when you realize the importance of a person when he is gone. Suffice to say, the most important people leave a void in our life that will never be filled. In contrast the forgettable people leave...without us even realizing it. Or maybe life was even better without them so their loss barely registers.
Grisham defines football games in such as way that you can actually hear the roar of the crowd, the collision of padded bodies and the abusive tongue-lashing. The story is so charged with testosterone that it becomes a stark contrast to the poignant moments in the end. Grisham uses a tone that bristles with simplicity and sincerity...it was so sincere that it actually hurts. If the burly men in the story wept, then the readers will have a difficult time fighting the inevitable tears. Remember... boys don’t cry, MEN do.
Another beauty of Bleachers is that it teases with subplots that were never fully explored. Like the political machinery of the school and the town, the racial discrimination and the evocative love story. They are just mentioned in passing but somehow each strikes a chord so that the reader ends up mulling over them. It seems like Grisham weaved some underlying agenda beneath the main story. And it does work.
Reading Bleachers revived some echoes of the past. As Neely recounts his glory days, you can’t help but wander into your own reverie. His story fuels your own burning middle-age self-scrutiny.
Long after the field lights are dimmed out, there are people whose very light will shine on indefinitely.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
They Heart My Blog, I Heart Them
Friends have been sending some blog comments privately. Sorry but I will have to divulge some of them. It’s not the words per se that are flattering; it’s more of WHO sent it. Thanks for reading, guys, and no eloquent words can express my appreciation knowing that you still care a lot...even if time and distance has ripped us apart from each other.
From A:
I got to know you all over again through your blog coz you put it all out there. Hehehe. When I was there (in your life), I don't recall us having any brooding philosophical conversations. Or did we? But I remember the angst, yeah.
Just a question: Are you at a point in your life when you're now looking back and taking stock of everything you have done and been? Coz I think I am.
You know what? I've realized something... I realized that I am lonelier now surrounded by lots of people than I was before when I was alone. Ewan ko ba, maybe as I grow old, I lose the ability to trust and give myself completely to new relationships. I just hang on to the memories of old friends. Like you. Really. No joke.
I feel that I made some wrong turns somewhere along the road, just like the way you feel. But don’t punish yourself for it. Coz I don’t.
From V:
Hataw blog mo! Dami sentiments vividly expressed in precisely-matched words. Bow ako. You most likely have more than 500 words in your vocabulary (my Ninong Mon said above average na daw ang makagamit ng around 500 words). Semi-retired writer??? More of like you are thriving!
You are still cynical and sarcastic, capability lang ng matatalino (smiley face).
From M:
WOW...You go, boy! That’s all I can say when I read your blogs. Especially that I know you so well and I understand what you are saying, even if wrap it in all your vague words. Style mo, di pwede sakin. Hehe.
You were always the stubborn one. Not the bad kind of stubborn. I mean you never give up without a fight. As you say, you choose your battles. I wish I had that strength. But if ever life becomes too cruel for your kind heart, know that you can always run to me. But I know you won’t, you will take it all in stride. Stubborn ka eh!
You know ano nami-miss ko? Apart from your deep but humorous jabs at life...Yung silent and never-ending laughter mo. Super funny! I laugh now just remembering it. See you soon and keep on blogging.
From A:
I got to know you all over again through your blog coz you put it all out there. Hehehe. When I was there (in your life), I don't recall us having any brooding philosophical conversations. Or did we? But I remember the angst, yeah.
Just a question: Are you at a point in your life when you're now looking back and taking stock of everything you have done and been? Coz I think I am.
You know what? I've realized something... I realized that I am lonelier now surrounded by lots of people than I was before when I was alone. Ewan ko ba, maybe as I grow old, I lose the ability to trust and give myself completely to new relationships. I just hang on to the memories of old friends. Like you. Really. No joke.
I feel that I made some wrong turns somewhere along the road, just like the way you feel. But don’t punish yourself for it. Coz I don’t.
From V:
Hataw blog mo! Dami sentiments vividly expressed in precisely-matched words. Bow ako. You most likely have more than 500 words in your vocabulary (my Ninong Mon said above average na daw ang makagamit ng around 500 words). Semi-retired writer??? More of like you are thriving!
You are still cynical and sarcastic, capability lang ng matatalino (smiley face).
From M:
WOW...You go, boy! That’s all I can say when I read your blogs. Especially that I know you so well and I understand what you are saying, even if wrap it in all your vague words. Style mo, di pwede sakin. Hehe.
You were always the stubborn one. Not the bad kind of stubborn. I mean you never give up without a fight. As you say, you choose your battles. I wish I had that strength. But if ever life becomes too cruel for your kind heart, know that you can always run to me. But I know you won’t, you will take it all in stride. Stubborn ka eh!
You know ano nami-miss ko? Apart from your deep but humorous jabs at life...Yung silent and never-ending laughter mo. Super funny! I laugh now just remembering it. See you soon and keep on blogging.
Fragments #2
I had my taste of the first hell week this year. First there were the trade checks that gave more questions than answers. Then problems in my promo execution here and there. Plus, some people I desperately need to talk to are out of the country. And like some bad icing on a doomed cake...the first Business Review for the year! And to make it even worse, they changed the format 2 days prior to the actual presentation. As a consequence, we had to stay until 1AM to finish our presentation.
Every pore in my body is just screaming from fatigue. I literally cannot drive to Makati for the business review so I had to hitch a ride with an officemate.
Just some quick “thank yous” to F and M, who bought us some time and gave us some slack in the end. Whew!
***
Come Monday (Sunday in the US), the famous golden statuette named Oscar will again take centerstage. The Academy will recognize the best achievements in film for 2007.
I am quite riled up for the Oscars because for it’s been quite a while since we have this “popular and accepted” line-up. Previously, the more low-profile, high-brow and really dark movies took the crown. Think No Country For Old Men, which took most of the statuettes last year. This year, the best picture nominees were more mainstream and accessible. Hence, more people can relate to it and celebrate their predicted Oscar victory.
Not to mention that I recently watched some of the frontrunners and they are really some of the best in years.
However, the trend “from Globes to Oscars” will be broken this year because back-to-back Globe winner Kate Winslet was not even nominated for best supporting actress. Plus, Benjamin Button had the most number of nominations (almost matching the all-time record set by Titanic) so it has a good shot at stealing the Best Picture statuette. But tracking the other awards (SAG, Director’s Guild, BAFTA), Slumdog Millionaire is still the frontrunner.
Here are my fearless forecasts for the major categories for tomorrow’s Oscars:
BEST PICTURE
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who I Want To Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
BEST ACTOR
Who Will Win: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler
Who I Want To Win: Sean Penn for Milk
Note: This is the most debatable category. The Academy might be turned off with Ruorke and go for the more “serious” Penn. Rourke won most of the other awards (Globes, BAFTA). Penn won the Screen Actors Guild.
BEST ACTRESS
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet for The Reader
Who I Want To Win: Kate Winslet
BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight
Who I Want To Win: Heath Ledger
Note: If Ledger will win, this will just be the second Oscar to be awarded post-humus.
BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Who I Want To Win: : Penelope or Marisa Tomei (for The Wrestler)
***
I remember some years ago, Manila Bulletin had a “Guess the Oscar Winners” contest. It was the time when American Beauty was the frontrunner. I sent my fearless forecast (I don't remember them now but I think it included Annette Benning and Kevin Spacey) and come Oscar Day, I was correct in all the major categories.
But I got quite busy with my writing/editing deadlines that I forgot about the contest. I only remembered it some months after.
There were five winners and I was one of them. However, I forfeited the prize. It was several month’s worth of movie passes.
Well, I always believed that if it’s not meant for you, it won’t be yours.
***
Yesterday, I had to rush home after some quick trade checks to help my youngest brother prepare for his first JS Prom. Louie was quite excited as this is his first time to don a suit.
I am again in my fatherly mode. It feels weird seeing them off during these life milestones. How you’ve watched them grow from cute babies to boisterous teens. You realize how time passes by and how old you are. Louie is 16 years my senior so technically, he could pass as my son. But not looks-wise, of course. The running joke is that people think that Oliver, the third sibling, is our Kuya because he is the biggest and on the darker side of the skintone spectrum.
Since the three of us have almost the same height and built, we can share clothes and shoes, especially the formal ones. I remember when my second brother competed in a co-ed pageant a couple of years ago, he ransacked my wardrobe and took home all the “Best In” special awards.
And this time, Louie was named Mr. Junior ’09. What can I say...it runs in the family!
***
I don’t recall much of my JS Prom. For our barkada trio, it was tantamount to “work” because we were in charge of the stage, program, invitation, etc. Although we belong to the “popular” club, we are also a little too shy at taking centerstage. So anything that involves programs or doing anything onstage brings us near nervous breakdown.
I remember my Senior’s Day, the pre-graduation ceremony, because of my jitters in delivering a speech. To add to the torture, my English teaching pulled me aside minutes before the speech and told me that I should deliver my last paragraph in Tagalog for more impact. She, off all people, should know that I am more comfortable speaking in English!
But she was right, of course. Previous to the last paragraph, I almost ruined the speech because I glanced too long at the audience and I when I glanced back at my paper, I forgot which paragraph I just read. It was a few seconds before I found it again. My friends say that they didn’t notice it (or were they being nice?). When I came to my closing paragraph, I took a slight pause (an inaudible sigh) and shifted to Tagalog. The audience was shocked in a good way and they gave me a thunderous applause. On the sidelines, my English teacher was all smiles.
Every pore in my body is just screaming from fatigue. I literally cannot drive to Makati for the business review so I had to hitch a ride with an officemate.
Just some quick “thank yous” to F and M, who bought us some time and gave us some slack in the end. Whew!
***
Come Monday (Sunday in the US), the famous golden statuette named Oscar will again take centerstage. The Academy will recognize the best achievements in film for 2007.
I am quite riled up for the Oscars because for it’s been quite a while since we have this “popular and accepted” line-up. Previously, the more low-profile, high-brow and really dark movies took the crown. Think No Country For Old Men, which took most of the statuettes last year. This year, the best picture nominees were more mainstream and accessible. Hence, more people can relate to it and celebrate their predicted Oscar victory.
Not to mention that I recently watched some of the frontrunners and they are really some of the best in years.
However, the trend “from Globes to Oscars” will be broken this year because back-to-back Globe winner Kate Winslet was not even nominated for best supporting actress. Plus, Benjamin Button had the most number of nominations (almost matching the all-time record set by Titanic) so it has a good shot at stealing the Best Picture statuette. But tracking the other awards (SAG, Director’s Guild, BAFTA), Slumdog Millionaire is still the frontrunner.
Here are my fearless forecasts for the major categories for tomorrow’s Oscars:
BEST PICTURE
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who I Want To Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
BEST ACTOR
Who Will Win: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler
Who I Want To Win: Sean Penn for Milk
Note: This is the most debatable category. The Academy might be turned off with Ruorke and go for the more “serious” Penn. Rourke won most of the other awards (Globes, BAFTA). Penn won the Screen Actors Guild.
BEST ACTRESS
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet for The Reader
Who I Want To Win: Kate Winslet
BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight
Who I Want To Win: Heath Ledger
Note: If Ledger will win, this will just be the second Oscar to be awarded post-humus.
BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Who I Want To Win: : Penelope or Marisa Tomei (for The Wrestler)
***
I remember some years ago, Manila Bulletin had a “Guess the Oscar Winners” contest. It was the time when American Beauty was the frontrunner. I sent my fearless forecast (I don't remember them now but I think it included Annette Benning and Kevin Spacey) and come Oscar Day, I was correct in all the major categories.
But I got quite busy with my writing/editing deadlines that I forgot about the contest. I only remembered it some months after.
There were five winners and I was one of them. However, I forfeited the prize. It was several month’s worth of movie passes.
Well, I always believed that if it’s not meant for you, it won’t be yours.
***
Yesterday, I had to rush home after some quick trade checks to help my youngest brother prepare for his first JS Prom. Louie was quite excited as this is his first time to don a suit.
I am again in my fatherly mode. It feels weird seeing them off during these life milestones. How you’ve watched them grow from cute babies to boisterous teens. You realize how time passes by and how old you are. Louie is 16 years my senior so technically, he could pass as my son. But not looks-wise, of course. The running joke is that people think that Oliver, the third sibling, is our Kuya because he is the biggest and on the darker side of the skintone spectrum.
Since the three of us have almost the same height and built, we can share clothes and shoes, especially the formal ones. I remember when my second brother competed in a co-ed pageant a couple of years ago, he ransacked my wardrobe and took home all the “Best In” special awards.
And this time, Louie was named Mr. Junior ’09. What can I say...it runs in the family!
***
I don’t recall much of my JS Prom. For our barkada trio, it was tantamount to “work” because we were in charge of the stage, program, invitation, etc. Although we belong to the “popular” club, we are also a little too shy at taking centerstage. So anything that involves programs or doing anything onstage brings us near nervous breakdown.
I remember my Senior’s Day, the pre-graduation ceremony, because of my jitters in delivering a speech. To add to the torture, my English teaching pulled me aside minutes before the speech and told me that I should deliver my last paragraph in Tagalog for more impact. She, off all people, should know that I am more comfortable speaking in English!
But she was right, of course. Previous to the last paragraph, I almost ruined the speech because I glanced too long at the audience and I when I glanced back at my paper, I forgot which paragraph I just read. It was a few seconds before I found it again. My friends say that they didn’t notice it (or were they being nice?). When I came to my closing paragraph, I took a slight pause (an inaudible sigh) and shifted to Tagalog. The audience was shocked in a good way and they gave me a thunderous applause. On the sidelines, my English teacher was all smiles.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
I, Rusher
Music on heavy rotation on my Pod:
- Chasing Pavements (Adele)
- A Little Too Not Over You (David Archuleta)
- Insomnia (Craig David)
- Just Dance (Lady GaGa feat. Akon)
- It’s Over (Jesse McCartney)
***
After eight years, I was somehow reconnected with Chico and Delamar when I saw them at a kiddie party two weekends ago. I was surprised that after all these years, they still remember me and my Rusher codename (it pays to have a unique codename; although I cringe now at the audacity of my codename). As Delamar said, “Di ka naman nagbabago, nag-iiba lang haircut mo.”
I have ceaseless praises and deep admiration for these two. They may be the country’s most celebrated FM DJs, but they are also the most accessible, if you know what I mean. Their trademark quick wit and playful banter remains unparalleled. They are forever written in the annals of FM radio history as the duo who revolutionized and championed FM morning shows.
On a personal note, I owe at lot to these two. They helped me through my most difficult phase. Not only did they provide the company and worry-free escape for three hours every morning, they also gave the intervention I was looking for (craving, even) at that time. Chico was always warm, accepting and appreciative. His positivity never fails to rub off you. Delamar is less interactive than Chico but she did something for me that became my lifeline during that trying times. However, she made me promise that it will just be between the two (or three) of us.
Looking back, I was nothing to these two prominent people but they took me AS I AM and made me feel valued. That’s something I cannot say about people I’m with every day... who had the best of me... but will bring me down by their next breath.
Anyway, as I always say...that’s their death, not mine.
***
Last Tuesday, I tried something I have never done in the last eight years…send an entry to The Rush Hour Hot 10. Wala lang, I just wanted to. Their topic was The Hot 10 Questions About Love.
I found out may asim pa pala ako. My entry took the #5 spot (FYI, I have changed codenames).
What’s my entry?
On what conditions must love be unconditional?
- Chasing Pavements (Adele)
- A Little Too Not Over You (David Archuleta)
- Insomnia (Craig David)
- Just Dance (Lady GaGa feat. Akon)
- It’s Over (Jesse McCartney)
***
After eight years, I was somehow reconnected with Chico and Delamar when I saw them at a kiddie party two weekends ago. I was surprised that after all these years, they still remember me and my Rusher codename (it pays to have a unique codename; although I cringe now at the audacity of my codename). As Delamar said, “Di ka naman nagbabago, nag-iiba lang haircut mo.”
I have ceaseless praises and deep admiration for these two. They may be the country’s most celebrated FM DJs, but they are also the most accessible, if you know what I mean. Their trademark quick wit and playful banter remains unparalleled. They are forever written in the annals of FM radio history as the duo who revolutionized and championed FM morning shows.
On a personal note, I owe at lot to these two. They helped me through my most difficult phase. Not only did they provide the company and worry-free escape for three hours every morning, they also gave the intervention I was looking for (craving, even) at that time. Chico was always warm, accepting and appreciative. His positivity never fails to rub off you. Delamar is less interactive than Chico but she did something for me that became my lifeline during that trying times. However, she made me promise that it will just be between the two (or three) of us.
Looking back, I was nothing to these two prominent people but they took me AS I AM and made me feel valued. That’s something I cannot say about people I’m with every day... who had the best of me... but will bring me down by their next breath.
Anyway, as I always say...that’s their death, not mine.
***
Last Tuesday, I tried something I have never done in the last eight years…send an entry to The Rush Hour Hot 10. Wala lang, I just wanted to. Their topic was The Hot 10 Questions About Love.
I found out may asim pa pala ako. My entry took the #5 spot (FYI, I have changed codenames).
What’s my entry?
On what conditions must love be unconditional?
PHOTOBLOG: Salescon 2009
This photoblog is long overdue. It's only now that I have time to work on the pictures. And AD took her own sweet time in giving me her share of pictures. Ha!
So here goes. Just click to enlarge the image if you want a closer look.
So here goes. Just click to enlarge the image if you want a closer look.
Two Endings To A Pop Love Story
In celebration of Valentines, two music stars found themselves on the opposite sides of the romance spectrum. One was court-bound, the other altar-bound. Valentine…funny Valentine.
Rihanna’s Disturbing Valentine
Last Monday (Sunday in the US), scandal shook the Grammy Awards. First there was news that Chris Brown and Rihanna cancelled their Grammy performances last minute, apparently because Chris Brown figured in a domestic assault case or something like that.
And everyone was wondering why Rihanna cancelled her performance also. Is she that sweet that she has to be beside her guy in this ordeal?
And then it turned out that Rihanna was at the receiving end of Chris Brown’s assault. News said that the two had an argument while attending a pre-Grammy party. The argument turned quite intense. Reports said that Rihanna sustained “visible injuries” and had to be rushed to the hospital. Soon after, Chris Brown surrendered himself to the police.
As of presstime, both parties have yet to submit personal accounts that will serve as circumstantial evidence. But in the aftermath, there is a furor in the US against Chris Brown. People are asking radio stations to stop playing his music as a protest to what he did.
As a supporter of their music, I was stunned at this wry turn of events. Of course there is no defending what Chris did (violence is something you cannot justify, in my books). It’s just a shame that this happened at the peak of their careers. The Year 2008 belonged to these two. Chris was Billboard’s Artist of The Year and the two had been permanent fixtures across major Top 40 charts.
I was also a bit shocked at this violent streak of Chris, because he has always projected a male pa-tweetums onscreen (if you know what I mean). And he is barely out of his teens!
Considering the cruel pop world where your personal turmoil overtakes your musical relevance/contribution (think Michael Jackson), I don’t know if Chris Brown can write this off. How can you pull off a cheesy song like With You amidst images of Brown harassing Rihanna?
***
Mandy Gets License to Wed Ryan
In contrast, one of the frontrunners of the teen pop explosion 8 years ago is getting married. Mandy Moore announced this week that she is engaged to singer-songwriter Ryan Adams. Of her contemporaries, Mandy was the more conservative and always a little too shy of the limelight, especially when it comes to her personal life. Previously, she has been linked to Wilmer Valderrama, Zach Braff, DJ AM and her most high profile romance, Andy Roddick.
Mandy Moore ditched pop music superstardom in pursuit of creative relevance. Her last two albums, Coverage and Wild Hope may not have achieved the multiplatinum status of her first two albums but both were highly praised by critics. Wild Hope was her first foray in songwriting and for that, she was featured by the Songwriters Guild of America (download these astonishing tracks: Latest Mistake and Gardenia) . Her next album, Amanda Leigh, again features her own compositions and is slated for release in May. Some tracks have been leaked in the internet, though I still have to catch it. The titles of the songs alone were enough to spike my curiosity.
She is said to be on a lookout for more challenging movie roles after the box-office success of License To Wed, Because I Said So and her most infamous film project, A Walk To Remember. Previously, she has also dipped her feet on indie cinema, with the Cannes-bound Dedication and the teen cult hit Saved! I really loved the dark intensity of Dedication (catch it on DVD as it was not released commercially here). She also has her own clothing line, MBlem and has recently signed up for Artists Stand Up For Cancer.
Ryan Adams is a singer-songwriter who is always flying under the radar of pop stardom. He belongs to the league of Gavin DeGraw and Ben Jelen. OST fanatics know his songs which have been featured prominently in teen shows like The O.C. Most of his work has been lauded by critics and he is best remembered for his album Gold. Adams is also a producer and an author. Wow, how that for multi-hypenate star weds multi-hypenate beau.
I find it funny that when I say Mandy is engaged to Ryan Adams, most people are shocked. And then I figure they thought it was BRYAN Adams! Please forgive me, hahaha.
Details of their wedding are yet to be confirmed. Let’s just hope that they will not go the way of Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds.
***
The beauty of this world can only be seen with a happy heart. I wish everyone I care about that happiness, regardless of their relationship status. Happy valentines, everyone!
Rihanna’s Disturbing Valentine
Last Monday (Sunday in the US), scandal shook the Grammy Awards. First there was news that Chris Brown and Rihanna cancelled their Grammy performances last minute, apparently because Chris Brown figured in a domestic assault case or something like that.
And everyone was wondering why Rihanna cancelled her performance also. Is she that sweet that she has to be beside her guy in this ordeal?
And then it turned out that Rihanna was at the receiving end of Chris Brown’s assault. News said that the two had an argument while attending a pre-Grammy party. The argument turned quite intense. Reports said that Rihanna sustained “visible injuries” and had to be rushed to the hospital. Soon after, Chris Brown surrendered himself to the police.
As of presstime, both parties have yet to submit personal accounts that will serve as circumstantial evidence. But in the aftermath, there is a furor in the US against Chris Brown. People are asking radio stations to stop playing his music as a protest to what he did.
As a supporter of their music, I was stunned at this wry turn of events. Of course there is no defending what Chris did (violence is something you cannot justify, in my books). It’s just a shame that this happened at the peak of their careers. The Year 2008 belonged to these two. Chris was Billboard’s Artist of The Year and the two had been permanent fixtures across major Top 40 charts.
I was also a bit shocked at this violent streak of Chris, because he has always projected a male pa-tweetums onscreen (if you know what I mean). And he is barely out of his teens!
Considering the cruel pop world where your personal turmoil overtakes your musical relevance/contribution (think Michael Jackson), I don’t know if Chris Brown can write this off. How can you pull off a cheesy song like With You amidst images of Brown harassing Rihanna?
***
Mandy Gets License to Wed Ryan
In contrast, one of the frontrunners of the teen pop explosion 8 years ago is getting married. Mandy Moore announced this week that she is engaged to singer-songwriter Ryan Adams. Of her contemporaries, Mandy was the more conservative and always a little too shy of the limelight, especially when it comes to her personal life. Previously, she has been linked to Wilmer Valderrama, Zach Braff, DJ AM and her most high profile romance, Andy Roddick.
Mandy Moore ditched pop music superstardom in pursuit of creative relevance. Her last two albums, Coverage and Wild Hope may not have achieved the multiplatinum status of her first two albums but both were highly praised by critics. Wild Hope was her first foray in songwriting and for that, she was featured by the Songwriters Guild of America (download these astonishing tracks: Latest Mistake and Gardenia) . Her next album, Amanda Leigh, again features her own compositions and is slated for release in May. Some tracks have been leaked in the internet, though I still have to catch it. The titles of the songs alone were enough to spike my curiosity.
She is said to be on a lookout for more challenging movie roles after the box-office success of License To Wed, Because I Said So and her most infamous film project, A Walk To Remember. Previously, she has also dipped her feet on indie cinema, with the Cannes-bound Dedication and the teen cult hit Saved! I really loved the dark intensity of Dedication (catch it on DVD as it was not released commercially here). She also has her own clothing line, MBlem and has recently signed up for Artists Stand Up For Cancer.
Ryan Adams is a singer-songwriter who is always flying under the radar of pop stardom. He belongs to the league of Gavin DeGraw and Ben Jelen. OST fanatics know his songs which have been featured prominently in teen shows like The O.C. Most of his work has been lauded by critics and he is best remembered for his album Gold. Adams is also a producer and an author. Wow, how that for multi-hypenate star weds multi-hypenate beau.
I find it funny that when I say Mandy is engaged to Ryan Adams, most people are shocked. And then I figure they thought it was BRYAN Adams! Please forgive me, hahaha.
Details of their wedding are yet to be confirmed. Let’s just hope that they will not go the way of Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds.
***
The beauty of this world can only be seen with a happy heart. I wish everyone I care about that happiness, regardless of their relationship status. Happy valentines, everyone!
Sunday, February 08, 2009
Mitigating Circumstances
A different kind of storm brewed in the later part of this week. I wouldn’t have minded it but the haughty winds somehow blew over my personal turf.
I choose my own battles. You are nothing and no one to me. But this time you have stepped too close for comfort, my friend.
We were brought up in such a way that we are very particular about one’s honor and good name. Yes, we are not perfect and we have our foibles and flaws. But if there is one thing we do not take lightly, it is being FALSELY ACCUSED, using supposedly valid evidence (this is different from being falsely accused based on opinion, mind you).
Not to mention that I come from that principled university who taught me to stand up for what is fair and fight for those are subject to iniquitous persecution. Deep inside my stoic facade, I am a rebel with a cause.
If your system has been so spotless and rigid, then I would not have reacted. But it nowhere near infallible. And yet you indict someone who falls victim to your own shortcomings. How honourable. As I said, it is unfair to cast doubt if you do not have such certain measures. I believe there is a term for that: MALICIOUS INTENT.
Maybe you will get what you want. But everything has its price. Remember that.
I choose my own battles. You are nothing and no one to me. But this time you have stepped too close for comfort, my friend.
We were brought up in such a way that we are very particular about one’s honor and good name. Yes, we are not perfect and we have our foibles and flaws. But if there is one thing we do not take lightly, it is being FALSELY ACCUSED, using supposedly valid evidence (this is different from being falsely accused based on opinion, mind you).
Not to mention that I come from that principled university who taught me to stand up for what is fair and fight for those are subject to iniquitous persecution. Deep inside my stoic facade, I am a rebel with a cause.
If your system has been so spotless and rigid, then I would not have reacted. But it nowhere near infallible. And yet you indict someone who falls victim to your own shortcomings. How honourable. As I said, it is unfair to cast doubt if you do not have such certain measures. I believe there is a term for that: MALICIOUS INTENT.
Maybe you will get what you want. But everything has its price. Remember that.
Gotta Have Fate (A Review of Slumdog Millionaire)
To somehow update myself as the Academy hands the Oscars days from now, I watched one of the frontrunners: Slumdog Millionaire. This is one of the slowburn movies from late last year but it quickly caught fire as awards season came, even stealing the Golden Globe Best Picture win from surefire/big-production/made-for-award masterpiece The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.
Slumdog Millionaire is a story of how a common, uneducated guy from the Mumbai slums managed to win the 20-million jackpot prize in the Indian Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Many saw this as a one-in-a-million hoax (read: cheating), because even the most academic contestant never went this far. The movie poses a very serious question about destiny. Did the hands of Fate wrote Jamal Malik's story and conspired to bring him to this highly verbatim “fortune”?
Looking beyond its syrupy love story, the movie makes us believe that our individual destiny is indeed written. However, it also brings forward another view: that NOTHING in life is COINCIDENCE. As much as we try to forget the beauty and tragedy of the past, we are all products of our past. Remember the advice people tell us when something unfortunate happens? That things happen for a reason. The movie explains this in full circle, showing us the logic and sense of how Jamal seems to know (or not know...I am not telling) the answer to the game’s questions.
Slumdog Millionaire also depicts a very Indian principle: KARMA...both the good and the bad kind. How, in the end, we get what we deserve.
I heard that Indians did not take this movie well, both in terms of personal bias and box office returns. First reason is that it depicts the more dismal side of Indian life (slums), a realism they do not want to see on the big screen. They might have a point. Being exposed to third-world reality, I was still shocked at the horrific scenes in the movie (there was even the literal falling on shit). The movie overcompensates in irony; because outside of its beautiful story, it shows India in really bad light.
Second is that the movie lacked a big Bollywood star. I really wouldn’t know because I am not a fan of Bollywood. But I think the producers made a wise move in casting relative unknowns. This renders the movie more realistic and you gravitate towards the “commonness” of the actors and their characters.
While I enjoyed the movie and it does have a heart in its brilliant story, I was more satisfied (both aesthetically and emotionally) with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Truth to tell, watching Slumdog was like watching a local indie flick (think a former-tambay from Tondo winning Pilipinas, GKNB). So I can empathize with how the Indians feel for this movie. I will go as far as saying that, in the third-world context, the movie offers nothing of substance. Just a make-believe fantasy story.
And that dancing of the actors in the end?! Que horror! I only see that in B-rated local comedies starring TVJ.
This may be the most acclaimed Indian-inspired movie in world film history. It milks realism to its core, sprinkling it with a dash of mush. This is something we have seen before, in the small tube even. But the world (outside India) seems to take heed and notice.
Well, that is probably the movie's destiny (pun intended).
Sunday, February 01, 2009
The Curious Case of Brilliant Moviemaking
It is Sunday morning and I am in a pensive mood. Blame it on Benjamin Button.
Since I had quite a tough week, I decided to chill and watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Truth to tell, I came into the movie expecting a lot; what with all the accolades that the movie is receiving (it almost matched the record for most Oscar nominations). But I was also partly apprehensive; thinking that all the fuss might just be the Brad Pitt factor.
Shame on me for thinking that. The movie delivered more than Brad Pitt.
The movie pushed the buttons in all the right places to merit such well-deserved recognition. A fantastic screenplay that is simple and intricate at the same time. A multifaceted plot that has a lot of heart and beauty-in-disaster realizations. Dialogues that resonate with wit and reflective subtleness. Splendid cinematography and art direction that renders this one of the most dazzling period masterpiece in recent years. And to cap it off...inspired and impeccable acting from its crop of already accomplished actors (notably Pitt, Blanchett, Henson and Swinton).
SPOILER ALERT: Please skip the next paragraph if you haven’t watched the movie.)
The first half of the movie ingeniously defines the early life (ironically) of Benjamin and lays the foundation to the punches that will stream roll later. The second half of the movie was emotionally wrenching for me. Especially the last moments as the clock ticks for Benjamin. I still cannot erase the restraint and stark simplicity in his death scene, making it all the more agonizing. And the quiet torment in the scene where Benjamin makes the ultimate sacrifice of leaving his daughter. Only the heartless people will not be affected by these scenes.
The austere beauty of Benjamin Button is its multi-dimensional portrayal of a life so excruciatingly complex coming full circle. It’s like watching a beginning to an end reaching an end to a beginning. Benjamin’s story is not about someone afflicted with a strange disease and how he overcame it. It is a story of making the choices that will breathe life to life. His dilemma becomes everybody’s struggle. His destiny became everybody’s hope.
For a movie to be indelible, it has to weave its delicate fabric into my consciousness. Like someone who passed your life in a nano second but left an enduring mark, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button conveys new insights about life. But don’t get me wrong, the movie never intends to preach about life. It just subtly forces an internal scrutiny. Benjamin’s story (as well as that of Daisy and Elizabeth) presents a contemplative yardstick upon which we measure our life against. We may not like how it adds up, but it never allows us to decay in self pity. Their story delivers an ordinary solution that is within arm’s reach of everyone: we can always put destiny in our own hands.
Personally, there is no better time for this awakening. I believe I am already in mid-life and yet I just re-started my life a few breaths ago. Excuse the over-dramatics. I am just at a point where I have designed a new way to live. I have recently ended a life that is often dictated by other people; both in a good and bad way. And while most things remain the same, one important thing has changed. MYSELF.
I still dream of second chances. Of destiny fulfilled. Of getting what is in store for me... no matter how difficult and puzzling the journey to get it. Like what Benjamin said, regardless of what point you are in your life, you can still be what you want to be.
To hell with Loreal and Olay. Benjamin Button just gave us the most potent solution to ageing.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Cool.
Last Monday (January 19), I drove from our house in Bulacan to my office in QC without turning the car aircon on. And to think it was past 7AM already.
How cool is that?
Then, we were in Tagaytay for three days for our sales conference. We had color-coded shirts every day but it was rendered useless because we HAD to wear jackets. Think cold + wind. Some of us even wore double jackets.
If only the weather can be like this all year long. I think we will all be super productive. News reports say that we have the coldest temperature in decades. Enter visions of Al Gore and An Inconvenient Truth.
Once the devil starts wearing Prada jackets, then we all know hell has frozen over.
How cool is that?
Then, we were in Tagaytay for three days for our sales conference. We had color-coded shirts every day but it was rendered useless because we HAD to wear jackets. Think cold + wind. Some of us even wore double jackets.
If only the weather can be like this all year long. I think we will all be super productive. News reports say that we have the coldest temperature in decades. Enter visions of Al Gore and An Inconvenient Truth.
Once the devil starts wearing Prada jackets, then we all know hell has frozen over.
The Other Side Of Me
Here’s the deal:
I see better on my left eye. I hear better with my right ear.
I easily get blinded by light. I had an eye problem since grade school where my eyes sometimes water at the first sight of the sun in the morning (yeah, very vampire-ish).
I have poor night vision (not so vampire-ish).
I have to check locks twice to convince myself it is indeed locked.
I have photographic memory. I have to recall words and formulas as they appear on a page. That’s why I was never good at memorizing historical facts. I also don’t look at caskets because I don’t want to remember the dead as well...dead.
I have an irrational fear of snakes and footbridges.
I prefer my water colored and with taste.
I hate almost all string vegetables.
I need least 2 cups of caffeine fix before 10AM or I’ll feel sick and lethargic.
I always leave the first 3 pages of a notebook blank.
I have clepto tendencies...but only for ballpens. I ACCIDENTALLY take ballpens from other people’s desk.
Most of my books have my name on the title page and the 13th page.
I am a slow reader coz I was trained to find mistakes in written text.
I love words but I do not believe them. Actions still speak volumes.
***
After this, can you honestly say that you know me?
I see better on my left eye. I hear better with my right ear.
I easily get blinded by light. I had an eye problem since grade school where my eyes sometimes water at the first sight of the sun in the morning (yeah, very vampire-ish).
I have poor night vision (not so vampire-ish).
I have to check locks twice to convince myself it is indeed locked.
I have photographic memory. I have to recall words and formulas as they appear on a page. That’s why I was never good at memorizing historical facts. I also don’t look at caskets because I don’t want to remember the dead as well...dead.
I have an irrational fear of snakes and footbridges.
I prefer my water colored and with taste.
I hate almost all string vegetables.
I need least 2 cups of caffeine fix before 10AM or I’ll feel sick and lethargic.
I always leave the first 3 pages of a notebook blank.
I have clepto tendencies...but only for ballpens. I ACCIDENTALLY take ballpens from other people’s desk.
Most of my books have my name on the title page and the 13th page.
I am a slow reader coz I was trained to find mistakes in written text.
I love words but I do not believe them. Actions still speak volumes.
***
After this, can you honestly say that you know me?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Human Plight, Redefined
I am a sucker for sad, tragic stories.
Last night (January 10), I was fixated at the Maalala Mo Kaya episode. I’ve wanted to watch it since I saw the trailer. It was a story of an impoverished family in a sugar hacienda whose suffering was multiplied hundredfold by reasons of their own doing. The father (Jay Manalo) is vicious and brutal, asking his children to work in the sugarcane field and taking their earnings to play sabong. When drunk, he punishes his children violently for no reason at all. There are six kids and often they have to scavenge the mountains for something to eat. One sibling and the baby died from starvation. The eldest boy decided to take things in his own hand and defied his father; for the very basic purpose of putting more food at their table. He was later disowned despite his selfless and benevolent intensions.
I have to give a round of applause to the actors, especially the lead child actor (Joshua Dionisio). He was so good and his portrayal of his character was so painstakingly earnest; as if he has mastered the art of juvenile anguish. The trailer stated his recent Best Actor win and I foresee another one coming with this episode (or was this a replay and this was his winning performance...I really don’t know). For me, the most disheartening part was when he lashed back against his father and ended up being evicted from their house. The next sequence showed him crying in childish whimpers; and you realize that he is just a KID amidst a very adult struggle. Hats off also to Chito Rono for the remarkable storytelling and direction.
The MMK episodes are getting better and better; they are almost like mini-indie movies. They have also been increasingly memorable in a heart-breaking way. This comes as no surprise because they often depict the darker facets of life, which is more realistic anyway. I have always believed that life is a chaos and it is up to us to make sense out of it.
There is another recent episode of MMK that I can’t take off my mind… one of the most shocking episodes I watched to date. It featured the plight of children on the streets. Abandoned by their parents, these children took LIFE in their own small hands; the lead child actor even resorting to being a pimp at a tender age. It was appalling to hear the boy say “Sir, you want good time?…Satisfaction guaranteed.” But the worst part came when the little boy realized that the girl he likes has succumbed to prostitution (a predicament he wanted her to evade) in order to save her ailing mother. Suddenly, his last semblance of normalcy shattered and his already-fragile world came crashing down.
At the core of each MMK episode are the lessons and of course… redemption; a hope against hope that everything will work out well in the end. But I don’t think life is ever that way. Sometimes you have to just get used to the bleakness of it.
I have a theory why I like tragic masterpieces: watching these horror stories puts my own life in perspective. My own misery pales in comparison to theirs. And I realize how blessed I am.
Just like what they say...Don’t compare yourself to others because you have no idea what their journey is all about.
Rain does not fall on one roof, after all.
***
I was a wayward child
With the weight of the world that I held deep inside
Life was a winding road
And I learned many things that one shouldn’t know
But I close my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground, raised my hand to the sky
And the times rolled by
Still I feel like a child as I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon
From “Close My Eyes”
Last night (January 10), I was fixated at the Maalala Mo Kaya episode. I’ve wanted to watch it since I saw the trailer. It was a story of an impoverished family in a sugar hacienda whose suffering was multiplied hundredfold by reasons of their own doing. The father (Jay Manalo) is vicious and brutal, asking his children to work in the sugarcane field and taking their earnings to play sabong. When drunk, he punishes his children violently for no reason at all. There are six kids and often they have to scavenge the mountains for something to eat. One sibling and the baby died from starvation. The eldest boy decided to take things in his own hand and defied his father; for the very basic purpose of putting more food at their table. He was later disowned despite his selfless and benevolent intensions.
I have to give a round of applause to the actors, especially the lead child actor (Joshua Dionisio). He was so good and his portrayal of his character was so painstakingly earnest; as if he has mastered the art of juvenile anguish. The trailer stated his recent Best Actor win and I foresee another one coming with this episode (or was this a replay and this was his winning performance...I really don’t know). For me, the most disheartening part was when he lashed back against his father and ended up being evicted from their house. The next sequence showed him crying in childish whimpers; and you realize that he is just a KID amidst a very adult struggle. Hats off also to Chito Rono for the remarkable storytelling and direction.
The MMK episodes are getting better and better; they are almost like mini-indie movies. They have also been increasingly memorable in a heart-breaking way. This comes as no surprise because they often depict the darker facets of life, which is more realistic anyway. I have always believed that life is a chaos and it is up to us to make sense out of it.
There is another recent episode of MMK that I can’t take off my mind… one of the most shocking episodes I watched to date. It featured the plight of children on the streets. Abandoned by their parents, these children took LIFE in their own small hands; the lead child actor even resorting to being a pimp at a tender age. It was appalling to hear the boy say “Sir, you want good time?…Satisfaction guaranteed.” But the worst part came when the little boy realized that the girl he likes has succumbed to prostitution (a predicament he wanted her to evade) in order to save her ailing mother. Suddenly, his last semblance of normalcy shattered and his already-fragile world came crashing down.
At the core of each MMK episode are the lessons and of course… redemption; a hope against hope that everything will work out well in the end. But I don’t think life is ever that way. Sometimes you have to just get used to the bleakness of it.
I have a theory why I like tragic masterpieces: watching these horror stories puts my own life in perspective. My own misery pales in comparison to theirs. And I realize how blessed I am.
Just like what they say...Don’t compare yourself to others because you have no idea what their journey is all about.
Rain does not fall on one roof, after all.
***
I was a wayward child
With the weight of the world that I held deep inside
Life was a winding road
And I learned many things that one shouldn’t know
But I close my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground, raised my hand to the sky
And the times rolled by
Still I feel like a child as I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon
From “Close My Eyes”
First Week High
The first week of 2009 was hectic, to say the least. But my spirit is high…and I don’t know why (wow…that rhymes). Maybe the cold crisp air still vibrates with some holiday cheer even if Christmas seems miles away already.
Or maybe it was my glib anticipation for that great bright start for 2009.
I already finished my general cleaning of my studio-type domain and I got rid of a lot of junk that has piled up over the months. In the process I unearthed a lot of stuff that I bought or was given to me (like shirts or even journals) but I haven’t used. I also discovered that I bought two similar things (like an extension cord). It really sucks to be disorganized.
I also started a new planner…well two to be exact…one for the personal stuff (e.g. finances) and one for the work stuff. I also found pleasure in starting a new notebook - our spanking new corporate notebook. I always work on a new notebook each year, to categorize the notes and topics. Now I just have to print the sales data as an at-a-glance reference for the impromptu recitations.
Since my car is being rehabilitated, I was at the mercy of officemates who picked me up for work and brought me home. So I go home before 9PM and surprises of surprises…I leave my laptop at the office! (lest I commute the next day). Which is a good thing coz I was able to do more house stuff or slept early so I can go to work early. Thanks to M, C and E for being my designated driver, hehe.
I also perused to finish the write-up for our SalesCon AVP. Since this was corporate literature, I had to really rack my brains to find the right words; so unlike blogs where my thoughts and words just flow freely. I’m so glad I was able to finish it with minor revisions. But I’m sorry that I cannot share it here because they are now intellectual property of our company.
I’m giddy and edgy for the next week’s SalesCon. We laid out a lot of stuff, with the purpose of bringing it to the next level.
Cheers to the best-laid plans and the promise of 2009! Hope everyone’s enjoying a great new year.
***
I’m no prophet and I don’t know nature’s whim
So I’ll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here coz these are the good old days
- From “Anticipation”
Or maybe it was my glib anticipation for that great bright start for 2009.
I already finished my general cleaning of my studio-type domain and I got rid of a lot of junk that has piled up over the months. In the process I unearthed a lot of stuff that I bought or was given to me (like shirts or even journals) but I haven’t used. I also discovered that I bought two similar things (like an extension cord). It really sucks to be disorganized.
I also started a new planner…well two to be exact…one for the personal stuff (e.g. finances) and one for the work stuff. I also found pleasure in starting a new notebook - our spanking new corporate notebook. I always work on a new notebook each year, to categorize the notes and topics. Now I just have to print the sales data as an at-a-glance reference for the impromptu recitations.
Since my car is being rehabilitated, I was at the mercy of officemates who picked me up for work and brought me home. So I go home before 9PM and surprises of surprises…I leave my laptop at the office! (lest I commute the next day). Which is a good thing coz I was able to do more house stuff or slept early so I can go to work early. Thanks to M, C and E for being my designated driver, hehe.
I also perused to finish the write-up for our SalesCon AVP. Since this was corporate literature, I had to really rack my brains to find the right words; so unlike blogs where my thoughts and words just flow freely. I’m so glad I was able to finish it with minor revisions. But I’m sorry that I cannot share it here because they are now intellectual property of our company.
I’m giddy and edgy for the next week’s SalesCon. We laid out a lot of stuff, with the purpose of bringing it to the next level.
Cheers to the best-laid plans and the promise of 2009! Hope everyone’s enjoying a great new year.
***
I’m no prophet and I don’t know nature’s whim
So I’ll try to see into your eyes right now
And stay right here coz these are the good old days
- From “Anticipation”
Saturday, January 03, 2009
New Year, New Lease On Life
With the slightest of regret, I watched the final minutes of 2008 tick by. As the world is counting down the seconds that will herald the beginning of the new year, I was counting the end. Then with a final gasp, 2008 was gone and I bid riddance to this far-from-great year as it slithered away to that place filled with bittersweet memories and painstaking lessons.
I thought 2007 was the superlative when it comes to personal torment. But then, 2008 trumped it by miles. It was the year when I communicated through damage. By the middle of the year, I was yearning to leave it all behind and start afresh. In some ways, my new year began early.
But those are all behind me; I don’t have time for the nostalgic desolation. I’ve wallowed enough already. I’ve squeezed the pain for what it’s worth until I was numb. I already bled myself to death. And rediscovered myself in the process.
In 2008, I discovered the “P” word; but I am not allowed to talk about it. Consider it my hidden power, my own brand of magic potion...something I avoided but succumbed to in the end… to keep me alive. To render myself invincible.
I took all the tough cards I was dealt with and learned how to play it. I threw away some of the aces, thinking I was fortunate to have them; only to realize later that focusing on the aces prevented me from seeing the other lucky cards.
I swallowed my bitter pill and its vile taste still resides at the back of my mouth. I accepted my own foibles and I now live to regret it. I’ve paid the price and I’m still paying for it every day.
I had the taste of the mordant truths. That people don’t understand what they don’t know...That most people are generally self-serving (it is “good” if it works for them, otherwise it is “bad”)...That during the darkest hours, you will realize who shines their light for you.
Amidst all this, there are the poignant lessons. And I really have to learn them the hardest way possible. But at least I can say: I know better now. And for what it’s worth...I vow not to make the same mistakes again. This sick cycle carousel has got to stop.
I cannot contain my excitement for 2009. I am longing for that great, bright start. Armed with the lessons and the few people I trust, I am bound to fulfil the prophecy that this year will be great for us Horsies (born in the Year of The Horse). It’s about time...after our seemingly endless bout with misfortune in the past two years. We’ve paid our dues.
And as George Harrison said...all things must pass. And it does get better in time.
***
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
I thought 2007 was the superlative when it comes to personal torment. But then, 2008 trumped it by miles. It was the year when I communicated through damage. By the middle of the year, I was yearning to leave it all behind and start afresh. In some ways, my new year began early.
But those are all behind me; I don’t have time for the nostalgic desolation. I’ve wallowed enough already. I’ve squeezed the pain for what it’s worth until I was numb. I already bled myself to death. And rediscovered myself in the process.
In 2008, I discovered the “P” word; but I am not allowed to talk about it. Consider it my hidden power, my own brand of magic potion...something I avoided but succumbed to in the end… to keep me alive. To render myself invincible.
I took all the tough cards I was dealt with and learned how to play it. I threw away some of the aces, thinking I was fortunate to have them; only to realize later that focusing on the aces prevented me from seeing the other lucky cards.
I swallowed my bitter pill and its vile taste still resides at the back of my mouth. I accepted my own foibles and I now live to regret it. I’ve paid the price and I’m still paying for it every day.
I had the taste of the mordant truths. That people don’t understand what they don’t know...That most people are generally self-serving (it is “good” if it works for them, otherwise it is “bad”)...That during the darkest hours, you will realize who shines their light for you.
Amidst all this, there are the poignant lessons. And I really have to learn them the hardest way possible. But at least I can say: I know better now. And for what it’s worth...I vow not to make the same mistakes again. This sick cycle carousel has got to stop.
I cannot contain my excitement for 2009. I am longing for that great, bright start. Armed with the lessons and the few people I trust, I am bound to fulfil the prophecy that this year will be great for us Horsies (born in the Year of The Horse). It’s about time...after our seemingly endless bout with misfortune in the past two years. We’ve paid our dues.
And as George Harrison said...all things must pass. And it does get better in time.
***
Through this world I've stumbled
so many times betrayed
trying to find an honest word to find
the truth enslaved
you speak to me in riddles
and you speak to me in rhymes
my body aches to breathe your breath
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