In your lucid moments, you shine this beacon of light that rouses this world-weary soul. The same light cast a heavy shadow and I was content to just walk and dwell in it. Knowing that each step leads to a path of self-destruction or to a road of endless resistance. Hell or high water. Yet I convinced myself I needed that. To feel the pain if only to feel alive.
Sooner than later, I know that this will fade away. All colors will bleed to various shades of blue and I will be drenched with the all-too-familiar anguish. The sands are slipping through my fingers and all I can do is cherish each painstaking grain that I can hold onto.
I never asked for what they say springs eternal… or that one fateful shot. I just needed to vacillate in this moment. Until the next moment comes which will take me into another dizzying kaleidoscope. The colors will again come to life…albeit touched by a different light.
How weird it is to suffer the darkness of dusk when there was no dawn to behold.