It happened one sweltering Holy Thursday afternoon. J and I were sauntering along the length of Emerald, after meeting a friend who asked a favor from me (Good Karma #1). It was dreamlike to walk along a seemingly abandoned street, which on a regular day will be bustling with people and traffic (think I Am Legend). But the event that will follow will be more dreamlike (think Pay It Forward).
The combination of scorching sun and concrete jungle became our early Calvary. We sought refuge in a spot between two buildings where the wind is being funneled. While the cool wind is slowly lifting the clammy feeling on our arms (not to mention, our dampened spirits), we reminisced previous moments in the nearby buildings.
Out of nowhere came Joe (as we now call him). He is a American, a bit short in height but has the look of a globe-trotter (weather-beaten face, comfortable travel clothes and backpack). He may well be one of those contestants from The Amazing Race.
His first few words already resounded with desperation and a need for help. We initially thought he was asking for directions to get back to Subic and my mind was already processing bus terminal information. But as his story unfolds, we learned that he is not lost direction-wise (he came from California and has been here for almost a week), but he lost his wallet (with his money and cards) somewhere in Cubao and all that was left with him are a few coins. He has been trying to come-up with 360 pesos to get back to Subic .
Between J and I, we only have 300 pesos in small bills. So we decided to give Joe 500 pesos. The relief on Joe’s face is priceless. He shook our hands and greeted us Happy Easter. As he walked away, we saw him look up to the heavens in gratitude and kiss the 500 peso bill.
He left us with a surreal and uplifting feeling. Of course, the feeling of having helped someone in need is indescribable. What’s more surreal is that we were not supposed to be there. I know this will be melodramatic, but the chance that we will stop in that particular spot is very slim. It was like an invisible force wanted us to be there for that moment. And it sure felt that way.
We just wished that we will not be placed in the same predicament as Joe. Or whatever Judas experience Joe felt in this country will be masked by our Good Samaritan effort.
And maybe…Joe can throw some elusive good karma our way.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Glass Houses and Pretenses
I have lived so many lives though I’m not old
All I know is everything is not as it’s told
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds, the more I sow
I take pride in how I understand human nature. I can tolerate how some people react a certain way to a given scenario (even at my expense)…because they are only HUMAN. However, the flaws and foibles that define human nature can be downplayed if the person has the correct concept of what is RIGHT and FAIR. Such flaws include malevolence and envy. And once I detect that a certain course of action was borne out of these “ill will,” then I will exercise my human nature to lash back.
I am confident of what I am and what I have achieved. I have built my castle on rock solid ground. You can shake it all you want (if that gives meaning to your miserable existence), but I am stronger that the sum total of your travesty and pretenses. While I have “substance”, you only have “air.” Using this logic, a wiser person will choose his battles elsewhere. Tsk, tsk.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people have the audacity to cast stones at you when they themselves live in GLASS HOUSES.
You made your own bed of thorns, now you must lay on it.
P.S. You don’t deserve the attention. You don’t even deserve this space or this “tribute” to your wretched ways. But I have to say my piece (consider this as my Judas kiss). After this, I shove you back to where you were…to the NOTHING that you are.
All I know is everything is not as it’s told
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds, the more I sow
I take pride in how I understand human nature. I can tolerate how some people react a certain way to a given scenario (even at my expense)…because they are only HUMAN. However, the flaws and foibles that define human nature can be downplayed if the person has the correct concept of what is RIGHT and FAIR. Such flaws include malevolence and envy. And once I detect that a certain course of action was borne out of these “ill will,” then I will exercise my human nature to lash back.
I am confident of what I am and what I have achieved. I have built my castle on rock solid ground. You can shake it all you want (if that gives meaning to your miserable existence), but I am stronger that the sum total of your travesty and pretenses. While I have “substance”, you only have “air.” Using this logic, a wiser person will choose his battles elsewhere. Tsk, tsk.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people have the audacity to cast stones at you when they themselves live in GLASS HOUSES.
You made your own bed of thorns, now you must lay on it.
P.S. You don’t deserve the attention. You don’t even deserve this space or this “tribute” to your wretched ways. But I have to say my piece (consider this as my Judas kiss). After this, I shove you back to where you were…to the NOTHING that you are.
Hodgepodge (February 2008)
It seemed ages since I last blogged. It seems eons ago since I opened my Friendster and Facebook accountw. What happened? February descended upon us with an avalanche of deadlines and hullabaloos, so much so that I have to hit the ground running. Excuse me while I catch my breath.
***
***
Winning B.I.G.
February is Sales Conference month. The two days of the year when we are brought together by a common goal: to unravel the plans (and targets) for the year. The time to bond and supposedly reinforce our teamwork. It is also the time when we acknowledge that everything and anything in our company revolves around SALES.
This sales conference was extra stressful for the organizers because it coincided with the celebration of the 20th year of our company. I was tasked to do the write-up for the AVPs….not one, not two…but THREE write-ups!!! While writing (in blog mode) is effortless for me, corporate writing entails a different language. There goes the stress. I had to really rack my brain on that one, especially the one about the theme reveal (and the 5 rings).
Here are the highlights of the 2-day Sales Conference (in no particular order).
1. The Triumphant Turned Emotional Big Night. This is a strictly-formal gala night which is billeted as one of our surprises for the salespeople. The jampacked line-up for the night includes awarding of the top sales performers, theme unveil (Win B.I.G in 20..08…B.I.G. stands for Beyond Individual Goals), 20th anniversary toast and a tribute to our president. Pressure on me since I had to co-host the event. Good thing I was paired again with my favorite co-host so that our spiels are more seamless and natural.
2. The Team Games. It has been a tradition for the SalesCon to have team games a la Amazing Race. I was part of the blue team. The games this year are more parlor games than Amazing Race but they are physical nonetheless. I spent most of my energies on the ball toss, hula hoop relay and caterpillar relay. Eventually, our team finished over-all second place. Green Team took the lead only because they were damn lucky at drawing straws (haha…sourgrape).
3. The endless picture taking. We have two official photographers armed with professional cameras and they did a great job in chronicling the activities through high-res photos. Kudos to C and M.
4. The search for our assigned villa. This was such an exasperating experience for us that I have to do an entire blog on this (for posting soon). For now, I have to say that Canyonwoods is “over-rated” and the person in-charge of the front desk needs a crash course in the basics of front desk management and customer service.
5. The celebrity guest. Although this is already the third time that Aga joined us for the SalesCon, he immersed himself in the activities this time. He had fun judging the activities, especially the egg contraption, that I have to call him twice to go inside for the next activity.
6. The accident. One of our KAMs was injured while completing the obstacle course. She had a dislocated shoulder and had to be rushed to a hospital to have it corrected immediately. Another minus point for Canyonwoods: they don’t have contingencies for accidents like this. Anyway, I accompanied C to the hospital since I was finished with my brand presentation by then. I must say that she is one brave girl with a high tolerance for pain.
7. The God-forsaken Dinner. On our way back to Manila, we stopped by Tagaytay for dinner (we were famished and we want M to enjoy Tagaytay). After a seemingly endless debate, we ended up in Antonio’s Grill. Guess who were there?! The GODS! Anyway, nalibre naman kami. Haha!
8. The gossip that was served with the coffee. Call me anything but a gossip monger. I stay out (or take middle ground) on things that are none of my business. But somehow, gossip has its way of finding me. But my lips are sealed. I have enough on my plate already and I will not be senselessly dragged into other people’s mess. I just hope that some people realize that there is a correct use of the grapevine.
***
THIRD…BUT STILL AMAZING
I’ve been a big fan Amazing Race and, of late, have been riveted to the The Amazing Race Asia Season 2 (TARA2) because Team Philippines (Marc Nelson and Rovilson Fernandez) has a good chance of finishing first. The two has been called Magnum PI or The Boys From The Philippines and their goofiness reminds me Eric and Jeremy (Frat Boys) and BJ and Tyler (Hippies) from TAR7.
I always knew Marc was articulate and smart since he was a YS writer for some time. I’m a Gameplan fan and have seen Rovilson’s wacko side. I have even met him personally and he has this “good man” vibe. Being subjected to the TARA’s challenges, the two were the epitome of grace under pressure and of enjoying the experience despite being in competition. They are really good on both the physical and the mental challenges. Since this is a game, expect some unfair play. However, their brand of treachery was tactical (read: game-driven) rather than out of spite for the competing team.
M&R finished 1st in 7 out of 12 legs, was a shoo-in for the final three and was the team that everyone was trying to beat. Unfortunately, the last leg entailed arranging the flags in the order of the countries they visited. Too bad Rovilson had to do it because he had a difficulty figuring it out. Watching from the side, Marc remained cool despite knowing the correct order (he took up Geography in university). I was heart-wrenching to see them finish third. But despite that, I think they “owned” TARA2. (Sidebar: How true are the rumors that Marc is eyed to replace host Allan Wu?...hmmmm)
Top Moments in the TARA2
1. Collin and Adrian finishing the fasttrack challenge and then risking a different train route. This eventually put them ahead of Marc and Rovilson in the final legs.
2. Henry and Teri’s constant bickering and verbal assaults on each other. Often, I wished they were not representing the Philippines.
3. The participant’s response to BALUT. Always classic and priceless.
4. Paula suffering from temporary memory loss after completing the pool dive challenge
5. Henry and Teri yielding Marc and Rovilson, who was way ahead of them. They must have misunderstood the concept of Yield
6. The challenge at the orphanage in Africa added “heart” to the show.
7. Bret sticking it out Kinar with, even through their eventual elimination.
***
I’m gravitating towards another exquisite extreme. The knowledge that I have to balance the magic and the myth. I’m looking for what’s stable and logical, but I only get what’s happy and hysterical. It is more than enough… but also more than what I can take.
***
I promised myself that the day will come. Finally, your magic and spell has lost its effect on me.
***
All the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that’s wonderful. That’s LIFE.
Something Happened On The Way To Heaven
In one of those quiet silences that preludes a hectic workweek, I hastily finished a book that I slyly borrowed from an officemate. It was a book I’ve seen often in the NBS Bestseller List, a book that I’ve long wanted to buy for myself but never gotten into buying.
It was The Five People You Meet In Heaven.
Truth to tell, I didn’t like Tuesdays With Morrie, the first book by Mitch Albom which is in the Favorite Book List of almost every other booklover. I found it too preachy, dripping in saccharine and it just expounded on things that I knew all along… that life already taught me. I can understand why some people are so inspired and affected by this book. But for me, I sort of experienced it firsthand.
This book was a different. I couldn’t put it down and became one of the few books I had to finish in one sitting. For one, it talks about unfamiliar territory….death and the concept of heaven. Albom touched a sensitive and poignant topic which is the fear and obsession of any mortal. Albom used DEATH to give a new meaning to LIFE and he succeeds in doing so.
His concept of death and heaven is nothing out of ordinary. What’s unexpected is that we saw our life in Eddie’s. His story presents a proverbial paranoia of which five people we will meet if this is the correct concept of heaven.
Alboms injected the correct amount of sentimentality to deliver the transcendent impact. This book did not make me teary-eyed but it left me with renewed sense of importance. It presented alternative answers to some of my life questions. It re-acknowledged my vow to leave this world a better place by touching as many lives as I can. Should my time come, I want one my five people to thank me for being a blessing in his life. As simple as that.
Speaking of the five people, I have identified my potential Ruby and my potential Captain. I have a vague concept of my Marguerite (unless someone else will come along). Of course, I cannot identify my Blue Man and I do hope that I won’t have my Tala.
My choice lines from this book are:
The running boy is inside every man, no matter how old he gets.
Holding anger is poison, it eats you from the inside. Hatred is a curved blade: the harm we do to others, we do to ourselves
When these senses weaken, another heightens. Memory becomes your partner. Life has to end, love doesn’t.
Five Reasons To Like TFPYMIH
1. It inculcates profound values without the bias and discourse that taints the values adapted through religion.
2. It is written in simple, accessible prose. I’ve said it many times: what’s simple is often true.
3. It is only about 200-pages long. But its impact is beyond measure.
4. It has a lot of references to the Philippines. One of the five people is Filipino. Albom only missed out on one Tagalog translation: sundalong was used instead of sundalo (soldier).
5. It puts your life in perspective. Above anything, it forces you to understand your life NOW. It shows you that in the intricate tapestry called life, our individual threads become interwoven and one thing leads to another.
It was The Five People You Meet In Heaven.
Truth to tell, I didn’t like Tuesdays With Morrie, the first book by Mitch Albom which is in the Favorite Book List of almost every other booklover. I found it too preachy, dripping in saccharine and it just expounded on things that I knew all along… that life already taught me. I can understand why some people are so inspired and affected by this book. But for me, I sort of experienced it firsthand.
This book was a different. I couldn’t put it down and became one of the few books I had to finish in one sitting. For one, it talks about unfamiliar territory….death and the concept of heaven. Albom touched a sensitive and poignant topic which is the fear and obsession of any mortal. Albom used DEATH to give a new meaning to LIFE and he succeeds in doing so.
His concept of death and heaven is nothing out of ordinary. What’s unexpected is that we saw our life in Eddie’s. His story presents a proverbial paranoia of which five people we will meet if this is the correct concept of heaven.
Alboms injected the correct amount of sentimentality to deliver the transcendent impact. This book did not make me teary-eyed but it left me with renewed sense of importance. It presented alternative answers to some of my life questions. It re-acknowledged my vow to leave this world a better place by touching as many lives as I can. Should my time come, I want one my five people to thank me for being a blessing in his life. As simple as that.
Speaking of the five people, I have identified my potential Ruby and my potential Captain. I have a vague concept of my Marguerite (unless someone else will come along). Of course, I cannot identify my Blue Man and I do hope that I won’t have my Tala.
My choice lines from this book are:
The running boy is inside every man, no matter how old he gets.
Holding anger is poison, it eats you from the inside. Hatred is a curved blade: the harm we do to others, we do to ourselves
When these senses weaken, another heightens. Memory becomes your partner. Life has to end, love doesn’t.
Five Reasons To Like TFPYMIH
1. It inculcates profound values without the bias and discourse that taints the values adapted through religion.
2. It is written in simple, accessible prose. I’ve said it many times: what’s simple is often true.
3. It is only about 200-pages long. But its impact is beyond measure.
4. It has a lot of references to the Philippines. One of the five people is Filipino. Albom only missed out on one Tagalog translation: sundalong was used instead of sundalo (soldier).
5. It puts your life in perspective. Above anything, it forces you to understand your life NOW. It shows you that in the intricate tapestry called life, our individual threads become interwoven and one thing leads to another.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Anything But Down
They all say I’m too restless
But words cut deep when you’re defenseless
There was a time when we were fine
And I could tolerate you
But now I just don’t understand you
And you don’t know me at all
You paint my picture black
The joke’s on me and I refuse to laugh
Remember the good times?
Won’t you bring them back
Someday…somehow
We all try to cauterize the PAINS we have to carry. But sometimes our past is so significant that we cannot dissolve it even if we tried.
CHANGE can mask the pain, but sometimes it also uncovers and un-heals it. So you keep going back to where you once fell, in search of the redemption you need to move on. Who will save your soul? You search for the answers that you knew all along. It was YOU.
I fall asleep dreaming that things will be as they used to be. But I know everything is so fleeting. They vanish as reality comes crashing to the floor.
There is a metamorphosis that is too complex for me to take part of. There is a bitter pill that I refuse to swallow. We may be going upward, but for every climb there is this downward slide that I can’t ride.
I can and I will try. But somewhere….something’s got to give.
***
After my series of fall-and-rise blogs last year, my friend A (who is my self-appointed critique and talent manager) posted a bulletin inviting people to come visit my blog. She called it Blog For The Heart and Soul. I know I bled my heart out on those blogs but I’m no Chicken Soup.
When I was a child, somebody told me: You have to leave this world a better place than it was before you came.
Suffice to say, this is the best way I know of doing just that.
****
A friend, after bursting forth with her sob story, asked me: What is wrong with me?
I said: What is wrong with you is that you pinned your happiness on one person. I understand that in being in love, your happiness become directly proportional to the presence of that person. Which should not be the case. There are people out there who values the real you. But we tend to forget these people because we focus on that one person who does not even know what we have to give. Find your happiness…other than with him.
She said: I wish I can be as strong as you. Continue to be happy.
I said: I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Who said my life now is better than last year’s? It’s just that I got tired of wallowing in the misery and negativity. It doesn’t get me anywhere anyway… so why bother.
It really boils down on how you see things. New life lenses, anyone?
But words cut deep when you’re defenseless
There was a time when we were fine
And I could tolerate you
But now I just don’t understand you
And you don’t know me at all
You paint my picture black
The joke’s on me and I refuse to laugh
Remember the good times?
Won’t you bring them back
Someday…somehow
We all try to cauterize the PAINS we have to carry. But sometimes our past is so significant that we cannot dissolve it even if we tried.
CHANGE can mask the pain, but sometimes it also uncovers and un-heals it. So you keep going back to where you once fell, in search of the redemption you need to move on. Who will save your soul? You search for the answers that you knew all along. It was YOU.
I fall asleep dreaming that things will be as they used to be. But I know everything is so fleeting. They vanish as reality comes crashing to the floor.
There is a metamorphosis that is too complex for me to take part of. There is a bitter pill that I refuse to swallow. We may be going upward, but for every climb there is this downward slide that I can’t ride.
I can and I will try. But somewhere….something’s got to give.
***
After my series of fall-and-rise blogs last year, my friend A (who is my self-appointed critique and talent manager) posted a bulletin inviting people to come visit my blog. She called it Blog For The Heart and Soul. I know I bled my heart out on those blogs but I’m no Chicken Soup.
When I was a child, somebody told me: You have to leave this world a better place than it was before you came.
Suffice to say, this is the best way I know of doing just that.
****
A friend, after bursting forth with her sob story, asked me: What is wrong with me?
I said: What is wrong with you is that you pinned your happiness on one person. I understand that in being in love, your happiness become directly proportional to the presence of that person. Which should not be the case. There are people out there who values the real you. But we tend to forget these people because we focus on that one person who does not even know what we have to give. Find your happiness…other than with him.
She said: I wish I can be as strong as you. Continue to be happy.
I said: I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. Who said my life now is better than last year’s? It’s just that I got tired of wallowing in the misery and negativity. It doesn’t get me anywhere anyway… so why bother.
It really boils down on how you see things. New life lenses, anyone?
A Ban On Misguided Moral Guardians
I heard some amusing news lately. A certain group of people is pushing for the banning of condom ads. They argue that it gives teenagers a license to be promiscuous or ill-informed about sex.
Funny…very funny!
In a country that is dominated by Catholics, it is not surprising that some people think of themselves as moral guardians. But this is really pushing the envelope too far. Can someone ask those people what their issues really are? Is it the promiscuity of teens? I’m sorry but that is a fact of life, you cannot argue with genetics. As if they never experienced how it was to have raging teen hormones. Is their issue the growing number of teen pregnancies? I’m sorry again but I don’t think banning condom ads is the solution to this.
Way back in college, I had a term paper which recommends abolishing the MTRCB. Back then, the MTRCB was receiving so much flack due to their ban of now-classic movies like Schindler’s List and The Piano. I discovered a lot of articles that supported our main argument: the Garden of Eden complex (remember Eve and the apple?). The more you ban something, the more it becomes tempting. We are after all, sons of Adam and Eve.
In Denmark, the government removed the ban on smut and porn. After some time people, it became a non-event, a fact of life. Did sexual crimes or unwanted pregnancies escalate because of this liberal act? Absolutely not. It actually worked as some sort of reverse-psychology…it became so un-tempting. Not that I am promoting smut or pornography here, my point is that we place undue attention on something that should have been "ordinary" in the first place.
Like I always said, look at the basic issue and address it. I am not prudish nor am I liberated but sex is not as “evil” as some people are depicting it. After everything is said and done, it all boils down to being RESPONSIBLE. We have to teach our kids to be responsible. If these parents continue rolling their eyes on this sex issue, then they should expect the kids to look for the answers elsewhere. So who now gave these kids the license to be ill-informed about sex? Tsk, tsk…some people have a weird concept of the term “guidance.”
Times like this, I miss Eminem. He is, hands down, the best adviser for teenagers. He teaches a lesson by painting the horror story and its consequences (do this and you get this). He confronts issues and explains without insulting the intelligence of these kids. But I digress…my views on Emimem merits another blog.
Too bad I lost my copy of that term paper. I would have mailed it to these misguided moral guardians. The 1.0 grade would have been enough to shut them up.
Funny…very funny!
In a country that is dominated by Catholics, it is not surprising that some people think of themselves as moral guardians. But this is really pushing the envelope too far. Can someone ask those people what their issues really are? Is it the promiscuity of teens? I’m sorry but that is a fact of life, you cannot argue with genetics. As if they never experienced how it was to have raging teen hormones. Is their issue the growing number of teen pregnancies? I’m sorry again but I don’t think banning condom ads is the solution to this.
Way back in college, I had a term paper which recommends abolishing the MTRCB. Back then, the MTRCB was receiving so much flack due to their ban of now-classic movies like Schindler’s List and The Piano. I discovered a lot of articles that supported our main argument: the Garden of Eden complex (remember Eve and the apple?). The more you ban something, the more it becomes tempting. We are after all, sons of Adam and Eve.
In Denmark, the government removed the ban on smut and porn. After some time people, it became a non-event, a fact of life. Did sexual crimes or unwanted pregnancies escalate because of this liberal act? Absolutely not. It actually worked as some sort of reverse-psychology…it became so un-tempting. Not that I am promoting smut or pornography here, my point is that we place undue attention on something that should have been "ordinary" in the first place.
Like I always said, look at the basic issue and address it. I am not prudish nor am I liberated but sex is not as “evil” as some people are depicting it. After everything is said and done, it all boils down to being RESPONSIBLE. We have to teach our kids to be responsible. If these parents continue rolling their eyes on this sex issue, then they should expect the kids to look for the answers elsewhere. So who now gave these kids the license to be ill-informed about sex? Tsk, tsk…some people have a weird concept of the term “guidance.”
Times like this, I miss Eminem. He is, hands down, the best adviser for teenagers. He teaches a lesson by painting the horror story and its consequences (do this and you get this). He confronts issues and explains without insulting the intelligence of these kids. But I digress…my views on Emimem merits another blog.
Too bad I lost my copy of that term paper. I would have mailed it to these misguided moral guardians. The 1.0 grade would have been enough to shut them up.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
The Way 2007 Are (The Best Of List)
Year 2008 started off to a fantastic start. Part of the holiday spirit spilled over to the first work week of the year. Maybe (fingers crossed), this is a precursor of greater things ahead.
Like any mortal, I made some new year resolutions. But unlike any mortal, I vow not to forget them as soon as the crisp cold air gives way to the first sign of summer. After all, they are not just resolutions, but more of paradigm shifts coming from my challenging episodes last year.
Having said that, I’m glad some people also chose to leave the “remarkable” events and issues of last year in some corner of their cortex, to become distant memories. Only the lessons learned were carried over to the new year.
The first work week was relatively slow so I had time to organize the literal mess I managed to accumulate during the past months. I have regained part of my OC self; although I don’t know I want to go back to being that stringent. In my work maybe, but not in other aspects of my life.
***
A friend asked me what happened to my Year-end Best Of List. It took me a moment to understand what she was saying. Then it hit me. The critique and reviewer in me failed to release the Best-Worst List for last year. I was so caught up in my personal turmoil, so to speak, that I forgot my other passions.
Truth to tell, I was out-of-touch for the most part of the second half of the year. My priorities somehow shifted or maybe I expanded my turf. Case in point: I totally stayed away from the TV so much so that for the first time, I didn’t know what was happening with Pinoy Big Brother (Celebrity Edition) or Survivor (China).
Anyway, to stay true to tradition, here are my personal bests for 2007. You can mock my pop-infused choices, but these are the songs and programs I related to and served as the background of my life in 2007. I won’t put My Chemical Romance or Fall-Out Boy on my list just to sound cool. I’m cool enough to know what I like.
Best of Songs 2007
1. The Way I Are (Timbaland feat Doe and Keri Hilson)
2. Gotta Go My Own Way (Nikki Gil)
3. Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song) (Enrique Iglesias)
4. Hey There Delilah (Plain White T’s)
5. Samson (Regina Spektor)
6. Falling Away (Miguel Escueta)
7. Over You (Daughtry)
8. Wait For You (Elliot Yamin)
9. Umbrella (Rihanna/Mandy Moore)
10. Makes Me Wonder (Maroon 5)
Personal Theme Song 2007: Gotta Go My Own Way (from HSM2)
Most Played On iPod: The Way I Are (Timbaland feat. Doe and Keri Hilson)
Favorite Re-current Songs: Breakdown (Mariah Carey feat. BTNH), The Hurt (Kalapana), What Might Have Been (Lou Pardini)
Best of Albums 2007
1. Daughtry (Daughtry)
2. Wild Hope (Mandy Moore)
3. It Won’t Be Soon Before Long (Maroon 5)
4. Shock Value (Timbaland)
5. Loose (Nelly Furtado)
Best of Movies 2007 (Disclaimer: from those I got to watch)
1. Transformers
2. The Bourne Ultimatum
3. High School Musical 2 (made-for-TV movie)
Side-bar: For some reason, I haven’t watched Spiderman 3 and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This is coming from a big Spidey and HP addict!
Best of TV 2007
Like any mortal, I made some new year resolutions. But unlike any mortal, I vow not to forget them as soon as the crisp cold air gives way to the first sign of summer. After all, they are not just resolutions, but more of paradigm shifts coming from my challenging episodes last year.
Having said that, I’m glad some people also chose to leave the “remarkable” events and issues of last year in some corner of their cortex, to become distant memories. Only the lessons learned were carried over to the new year.
The first work week was relatively slow so I had time to organize the literal mess I managed to accumulate during the past months. I have regained part of my OC self; although I don’t know I want to go back to being that stringent. In my work maybe, but not in other aspects of my life.
***
A friend asked me what happened to my Year-end Best Of List. It took me a moment to understand what she was saying. Then it hit me. The critique and reviewer in me failed to release the Best-Worst List for last year. I was so caught up in my personal turmoil, so to speak, that I forgot my other passions.
Truth to tell, I was out-of-touch for the most part of the second half of the year. My priorities somehow shifted or maybe I expanded my turf. Case in point: I totally stayed away from the TV so much so that for the first time, I didn’t know what was happening with Pinoy Big Brother (Celebrity Edition) or Survivor (China).
Anyway, to stay true to tradition, here are my personal bests for 2007. You can mock my pop-infused choices, but these are the songs and programs I related to and served as the background of my life in 2007. I won’t put My Chemical Romance or Fall-Out Boy on my list just to sound cool. I’m cool enough to know what I like.
Best of Songs 2007
1. The Way I Are (Timbaland feat Doe and Keri Hilson)
2. Gotta Go My Own Way (Nikki Gil)
3. Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song) (Enrique Iglesias)
4. Hey There Delilah (Plain White T’s)
5. Samson (Regina Spektor)
6. Falling Away (Miguel Escueta)
7. Over You (Daughtry)
8. Wait For You (Elliot Yamin)
9. Umbrella (Rihanna/Mandy Moore)
10. Makes Me Wonder (Maroon 5)
Personal Theme Song 2007: Gotta Go My Own Way (from HSM2)
Most Played On iPod: The Way I Are (Timbaland feat. Doe and Keri Hilson)
Favorite Re-current Songs: Breakdown (Mariah Carey feat. BTNH), The Hurt (Kalapana), What Might Have Been (Lou Pardini)
Best of Albums 2007
1. Daughtry (Daughtry)
2. Wild Hope (Mandy Moore)
3. It Won’t Be Soon Before Long (Maroon 5)
4. Shock Value (Timbaland)
5. Loose (Nelly Furtado)
Best of Movies 2007 (Disclaimer: from those I got to watch)
1. Transformers
2. The Bourne Ultimatum
3. High School Musical 2 (made-for-TV movie)
Side-bar: For some reason, I haven’t watched Spiderman 3 and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This is coming from a big Spidey and HP addict!
Best of TV 2007
1. Pinoy Big Brother Season 2 (ABS-CBN)
2. Amazing Race Asia 2 (AXN)
3. Anderson Cooper 360 Degrees (CNN)
4. One Tree Hill (ETC)
5. Executive Class (ANC)
***
I’m already halfway into reading “Dispatches From The Edge.” I must say this is one of the best books to read in between calendar shifts. The heartfelt but devastating stories which Anderson narrates puts your life in perspective and makes you appreciate whatever semblance of stability you have.
Sometimes Anderson uses a voice that borders on commentary or political diatribe. But those people who got the flack deserved it. In a world full of ironies, Anderson twisted the knife deeper and exposed a basic pain and suffering that seemed improbable in these ultra modern times.
Here I am wishing for a 2nd serving of Dispatches.
The ISKO In Me
This past week, I received text messages from fellow Iskolars; poignant and pompous text messages to commemorate the Centennial of our beloved Alma Mater.This one is the most-sent: UP made you in such a way that when the world is sitting, you would be standing…and when the world is standing, you’ll stand out…and when the world stands out, you’ll be outstanding…and when the world tries to be outstanding, you’ll be be standard. In short, laging pasaway ka. Isang masaya and may-yabang na sentenaryo, UPians.
I don’t know if the UP world has evolved since I graduated. But whoever wrote this is not from UP. Coz we never called ourselves UPians. It’s like only the outsiders refer to AS as Palma Hall.
The sentiment is also way too cocky. I remember a naughty vandal on my dormroom locker which read: It’s not how big your tool is, it’s how you use it.
I will paraphrase: It’s not from which school your diploma is, it’s how you use it. This goes out to all youngbloods out there who think that a UP diploma is a surefire ticket to success.
***
With the whole fuss over the UP Centennial, I look back at my UP experience. It’s a known fact that UP boasts of an out-of-the-box education; of learning beyond the four corners of the classroom. And this is indeed true. After UP, nothing can shock me anymore. UP exposed me to a lot of elements, showed me all the astonishing facets of human nature. Looking back, my time in UP is similar to a 5-year Amazing Race stint. I entered with only the basics and learned to navigate all the detours and the setbacks. I came out of it, not with a diploma, but with a roadmap and blueprint to LIFE.
These are the 10 Things UP taught me:
1. You have to rely on yourself. You have to find answers to your own questions. You even have to self-study topics that the teachers never taught you coz it’s part of the curriculum and part of the exam.
2. Act tough. Stick and stones can hurt your bones but you have to remain strong despite all the shit being thrown around. Predators come at the first sight of blood. Teachers will grill you more if you flinched for even a bit.
3. To each, his own. UP prides itself in its diversity so you have to learn to deal with different kinds of people. Be careful with your choice of words or risk getting in the wrong side of a “minority” (sic). Be politically correct.
4. Analyze. There are different approaches to everything and you have to find the most utilitarian way. (I almost believed that “utilitarian” was another UP lingo).
5. Stand up. No, I’m not talking about the USC party. UP forces you have an opinion on a lot of things and discourages apathy. It promotes freedom of expression and exchange of opinion and ideas. Respect the ideas and opinions of others if you want the same respect.
6. Notice the fine line and thread lightly. There is usually a fine line between two worlds and the certified Iskos know how to navigate this line. Like there is a fine line between “that’s my opinion” and “live and let live.” There is also a fine line between being confident and being arrogant.
7. Do not generalize. Most things have to be dealt with on a case-to-case basis. Look at both the macro and the micro.
8. Think with your mind, not your mouth. Talking nonsense is a mortal sin. Learn to shut up.
9. Learn to KISS. Keep It Simple, Stupid. Putting too much icing on the cake or beating around the bush are tactics of a coward.
10. Do not be afraid to ask, to make mistakes and to say sorry. These are all part of the learning process.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
GONE ARE THE DAYS (Kissing 2007 Goodbye)
My heart is in my hand, my head is in the clouds
My feet have left the ground, my life is churning around
Every voice inside my head is telling me to run like mad
Bows and arrows, stars and sunset
Every heartbeat, every whisper makes me wonder what all this is
Suits of armor, hearts and arrows
I am writing this memoir in the comfortable silence following the bedlam that greets the new year. The past year 2007 is still slithering somewhere in the vast corner of my mind. Though I want to say good riddance to that year, I have cleared most of the cobwebs during that quiet lull between Christmas and New Year. I now look back, not with regret, but with appreciation and comprehension.
That I had a difficult time in 2007 is an understatement. The trainwreck that was waiting to happen finally shattered into a million pieces. I have written one cryptic blog too many on my predicament. For someone who yearned for stability, I made a choice to rock my world. I wore my pain on my sleeve and walked wounded.
In 2007, some things ended where it should have begun. I found myself in an overwhelming crossroad where I was forced to change my trajectory. It was a point where it hurts to remain in place; the more I hang on, the more difficult it was to breathe. There was no right and wrong, only the consequences of my actions. I have gone from being at the corner of possibilities to nothing at all, a journey that is both liberating and humbling.
Like my previous dismal episodes, Year 2007 was a lesson I had to learn. A necessary evil I had to go through if only to move forward. It was a year of realization, awakening and self-renewal. My life restarted and the person I was disappeared, dissolved by the turn of the tide. It was the year when I got myself a new LIFE LENS…and the view of the world as I know it permanently shifted.
Gone Are The Days So Grey and So Certain
I have lamented that I always live in various shades of grey. Like I’m neither here nor there. Now I understand why. If there is anyone who can understand the various shades of grey, it is ME. Black and white means absolute extremes, grey means compromise.
In a way, I played safe. I played my cards only when the aces are with me. I always strived for stability and shied away from the uncertain. But now I have realized that the discomfort of uncertainty is the most precious part of the experience. Discomfort means you still have something to learn. That holding on to your comfort zone meant you stopped before you even begun.
Gone Are The Days So Serious and So Guarded
I think I took one of the basic marketing concepts too literally: image is everything. I know people think I’m too serious and too stiff. The Scorpio personality also manifested itself in me by the way I presented a cool and stoic façade to the world in order to mask the relentless emotions that are churning within.
This year, I let my guard down and showed the other version of me to a chosen few. The version that knows how to let loose and have fun. The side that was not afraid to make mistakes or be judged. The side that will do things for the sake of doing it; without being too calculating or overly analytical. The version of me that is brave enough to assert himself at the risk of displeasing some people, and let them deal with it.
I reconnected with old friends, forged new friendships, revived old hobbies, worked on a new sport. Win some, lose some. In fact, I rediscovered the value of so many things, even the marginal ones. I also shattered my solitary driving force, the fragments of which I reinvested in a wider array of possibility.
I’ve decided that I don’t have to act too mature for my age. Now I am not afraid of acting stupid while asking the questions about life. After all, being smart is not about knowing the answers to everything, it’s about how you arrive at your answers.
Gone Are The Days of Science
In elementary, my school paper profile read: He wants to be a scientist someday (a juvenile dream that was chased away by more adolescent realities). Little did I know that I unconsciously took a basic science concept and applied it to life: that for every action there should be an equal reaction. I searched for the tit for every tat, the yin for every yang. Anything that didn’t match is deemed incomplete or unfair. And this lead to a lot of dissonance and unnecessary disappointment.
I also reached a point when all I was feeling was GRAVITY and I don’t know why. It was only later that I realized that I have to align myself to a greater sphere of influence so I can stay on the affirmative path.
I’ve said that life is a game and maybe I was playing too hard that I forgot to enjoy the experience. Or I was so focused on something that I forgot to stop and smell the proverbial flowers. That’s why it is only now that I was doing little things to fill a fundamental void. I leapt when I should have taken baby steps.
The Thank Yous
There are a lot of significant moments this year, mostly bittersweet. Having said that, there are two groups of people I want to thank for the so-called 2007 experience.
On one side are the people who shared my moments of laughter and tears, the moments I will cherish forever and the moments I am not proud of. These are the people who cared enough to know when I needed space and when I needed company. People who had me at my worst. Friends who will tell me not just the things I WANT to hear but also the things I NEED to hear. That to me is the truest form of sincerity. I am lucky to have people who are not afraid to twist the knife a bit deeper, if only to make me realize the painful truth.
This year, I met strangers who pointed me in the right direction, who forced me to read the writings on the wall. Strangers whose infectious idealism fed me with energy to reconnect with the better side of me. Strangers who listened as I bled my stories and never flinched as I unraveled the tainted layers of my being. Strangers who later became indispensable allies.
On the other side are my self-appointed nemeses and the sources of my trials and challenges. Sarcasm aside, they called me on things that need fixing in my life. It is said that only misery can build character. The pain they inflicted was part of the metamorphosis, part of the ruse to make a better version of me. While some stings have not dissipated and some scars have not healed, I know everything fades in time.
I welcome the new year with more fervor, more aplomb than ever before. I know I am back in the saddle, I am more sure-footed and I am in a much better path. I have survived another phase of self deprecation and like before, gotten the best out of it.
Maybe this will be another difficult year. Maybe this will be a year of beautiful changes. Uncertainty is the spice of life. But if there’s one thing I know for sure… it’s that I am poised to take flight.
A part of me died in 2007. But a new ME has risen from the ashes of my existence to embrace the promise of 2008 with arms wide open.
My feet have left the ground, my life is churning around
Every voice inside my head is telling me to run like mad
Bows and arrows, stars and sunset
Every heartbeat, every whisper makes me wonder what all this is
Suits of armor, hearts and arrows
I am writing this memoir in the comfortable silence following the bedlam that greets the new year. The past year 2007 is still slithering somewhere in the vast corner of my mind. Though I want to say good riddance to that year, I have cleared most of the cobwebs during that quiet lull between Christmas and New Year. I now look back, not with regret, but with appreciation and comprehension.
That I had a difficult time in 2007 is an understatement. The trainwreck that was waiting to happen finally shattered into a million pieces. I have written one cryptic blog too many on my predicament. For someone who yearned for stability, I made a choice to rock my world. I wore my pain on my sleeve and walked wounded.
In 2007, some things ended where it should have begun. I found myself in an overwhelming crossroad where I was forced to change my trajectory. It was a point where it hurts to remain in place; the more I hang on, the more difficult it was to breathe. There was no right and wrong, only the consequences of my actions. I have gone from being at the corner of possibilities to nothing at all, a journey that is both liberating and humbling.
Like my previous dismal episodes, Year 2007 was a lesson I had to learn. A necessary evil I had to go through if only to move forward. It was a year of realization, awakening and self-renewal. My life restarted and the person I was disappeared, dissolved by the turn of the tide. It was the year when I got myself a new LIFE LENS…and the view of the world as I know it permanently shifted.
Gone Are The Days So Grey and So Certain
I have lamented that I always live in various shades of grey. Like I’m neither here nor there. Now I understand why. If there is anyone who can understand the various shades of grey, it is ME. Black and white means absolute extremes, grey means compromise.
In a way, I played safe. I played my cards only when the aces are with me. I always strived for stability and shied away from the uncertain. But now I have realized that the discomfort of uncertainty is the most precious part of the experience. Discomfort means you still have something to learn. That holding on to your comfort zone meant you stopped before you even begun.
Gone Are The Days So Serious and So Guarded
I think I took one of the basic marketing concepts too literally: image is everything. I know people think I’m too serious and too stiff. The Scorpio personality also manifested itself in me by the way I presented a cool and stoic façade to the world in order to mask the relentless emotions that are churning within.
This year, I let my guard down and showed the other version of me to a chosen few. The version that knows how to let loose and have fun. The side that was not afraid to make mistakes or be judged. The side that will do things for the sake of doing it; without being too calculating or overly analytical. The version of me that is brave enough to assert himself at the risk of displeasing some people, and let them deal with it.
I reconnected with old friends, forged new friendships, revived old hobbies, worked on a new sport. Win some, lose some. In fact, I rediscovered the value of so many things, even the marginal ones. I also shattered my solitary driving force, the fragments of which I reinvested in a wider array of possibility.
I’ve decided that I don’t have to act too mature for my age. Now I am not afraid of acting stupid while asking the questions about life. After all, being smart is not about knowing the answers to everything, it’s about how you arrive at your answers.
Gone Are The Days of Science
In elementary, my school paper profile read: He wants to be a scientist someday (a juvenile dream that was chased away by more adolescent realities). Little did I know that I unconsciously took a basic science concept and applied it to life: that for every action there should be an equal reaction. I searched for the tit for every tat, the yin for every yang. Anything that didn’t match is deemed incomplete or unfair. And this lead to a lot of dissonance and unnecessary disappointment.
I also reached a point when all I was feeling was GRAVITY and I don’t know why. It was only later that I realized that I have to align myself to a greater sphere of influence so I can stay on the affirmative path.
I’ve said that life is a game and maybe I was playing too hard that I forgot to enjoy the experience. Or I was so focused on something that I forgot to stop and smell the proverbial flowers. That’s why it is only now that I was doing little things to fill a fundamental void. I leapt when I should have taken baby steps.
The Thank Yous
There are a lot of significant moments this year, mostly bittersweet. Having said that, there are two groups of people I want to thank for the so-called 2007 experience.
On one side are the people who shared my moments of laughter and tears, the moments I will cherish forever and the moments I am not proud of. These are the people who cared enough to know when I needed space and when I needed company. People who had me at my worst. Friends who will tell me not just the things I WANT to hear but also the things I NEED to hear. That to me is the truest form of sincerity. I am lucky to have people who are not afraid to twist the knife a bit deeper, if only to make me realize the painful truth.
This year, I met strangers who pointed me in the right direction, who forced me to read the writings on the wall. Strangers whose infectious idealism fed me with energy to reconnect with the better side of me. Strangers who listened as I bled my stories and never flinched as I unraveled the tainted layers of my being. Strangers who later became indispensable allies.
On the other side are my self-appointed nemeses and the sources of my trials and challenges. Sarcasm aside, they called me on things that need fixing in my life. It is said that only misery can build character. The pain they inflicted was part of the metamorphosis, part of the ruse to make a better version of me. While some stings have not dissipated and some scars have not healed, I know everything fades in time.
I welcome the new year with more fervor, more aplomb than ever before. I know I am back in the saddle, I am more sure-footed and I am in a much better path. I have survived another phase of self deprecation and like before, gotten the best out of it.
Maybe this will be another difficult year. Maybe this will be a year of beautiful changes. Uncertainty is the spice of life. But if there’s one thing I know for sure… it’s that I am poised to take flight.
A part of me died in 2007. But a new ME has risen from the ashes of my existence to embrace the promise of 2008 with arms wide open.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Hodgepodge (The Fourth Serving)
Sometime Mid-March
Mood: Swinging from normal to frazzled
Songs for the Moment: Let Go (Frou Frou)…go watch The Holiday.
***
I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self control
But I’m just strong enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let if fall like rain from my eyes
***
I can’t believe that this is only my third blog for this year when I have resolved that blogging will be something I will do AT LEAST once a week. I might have lost my concept of time for good. A week for me has stretched to two months… like I am in a warpzone where time has succumbed to obscurity. Come back to the real world, Bernard. Time is fleeting and it goes on without you. You should have learned that valuable lesson last year.
***
Things I Learned So Far This Year
1. It is better to see things the way that they are. And not the way you wish they could be.
2. Silent victory means winning the argument by shutting up.
3. That "I have no time” is not an excuse. You have to “make time” for the things that matter (like watching Heroes and Entourage on DVD)
4. Common sense is not common anymore. Or some people are just freaking afraid and unsure.
***
Life on Shuffle
To spice up my life with some spontaneity, I’ve conjured a new scheme. I will put my iPod on shuffle and the first three songs that come out of it will serve as a horoscope / theme / guide for the coming week.
Here’s what came out:
- Kissing A Fool (George Michael)
- Hello Sunshine (Super Furry Animals)
- Flood (Jars of Clay)
Ok I get it. I will have sunshine and some flood. Very much like LIFE or something like it. Whatever…just bring on the kisses, fool!
***
Infinite Sigh
Sometimes I remember and the pain grips so hard it feels like nothing matters but the overwhelming misery. So this is how it feels. It goes without saying that I deserve it. I chose this road so whatever agony I feel is self-inflicted. Maybe I am masochistic.
Though I vowed to forget the pains of the past and just keep the beauty in all the madness, I still reel from the what-could-have-beens.
They say that it is only in misery that we find out who we are…and who we can be. Why must I always find it out the hard way?
***
March started on a stressful note and has been more of a losing battle to keep my cool. I blew my top as early as the first Monday of March.
It really pisses me to high heavens when people do not step-up or live-up when expected. It’s as simple as ringing the alarm bell beforehand so that I (in my own little way) can do something.
I am the type who works down to the details. Maybe it’s a blessing and a curse. But I really can’t take last-minute shockers. I often pysch myself up for something and those last-minute shockers destroy my sense of solidity.
But then again this is force majeure (as my law teacher would call it). I am just a hapless victim of circumstance. I have no choice but go with the flow…swimming against the tide is simply grueling and remarkably pointless.
They say that you can’t change the way the wind goes. Maybe it’s time to re-adjust my sails.
***
Just heard a news article over Breakfast that call center agents are subjected to a lot of work-stress because of the unusual work hours. And up goes my eyebrows!
While I have nothing against call center agents, I find it appalling that work-stress is credited to them. Last time I checked, stress is probable (maybe a “given” even) for all types of profession. There are devils in Prada lurking in all kinds of work environment and that alone can make Stresstab manufacturers ecstatic.
As with anything in life, it is a matter of the pros outweighing the cons. Stress comes when the “power” shifts to the cons.
At least those call center agents have fat wallets to go with their so-called work-stress. Some people are not that fortunate.
***
Mood: Swinging from normal to frazzled
Songs for the Moment: Let Go (Frou Frou)…go watch The Holiday.
***
I’ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self control
But I’m just strong enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride
Let if fall like rain from my eyes
***
I can’t believe that this is only my third blog for this year when I have resolved that blogging will be something I will do AT LEAST once a week. I might have lost my concept of time for good. A week for me has stretched to two months… like I am in a warpzone where time has succumbed to obscurity. Come back to the real world, Bernard. Time is fleeting and it goes on without you. You should have learned that valuable lesson last year.
***
Things I Learned So Far This Year
1. It is better to see things the way that they are. And not the way you wish they could be.
2. Silent victory means winning the argument by shutting up.
3. That "I have no time” is not an excuse. You have to “make time” for the things that matter (like watching Heroes and Entourage on DVD)
4. Common sense is not common anymore. Or some people are just freaking afraid and unsure.
***
Life on Shuffle
To spice up my life with some spontaneity, I’ve conjured a new scheme. I will put my iPod on shuffle and the first three songs that come out of it will serve as a horoscope / theme / guide for the coming week.
Here’s what came out:
- Kissing A Fool (George Michael)
- Hello Sunshine (Super Furry Animals)
- Flood (Jars of Clay)
Ok I get it. I will have sunshine and some flood. Very much like LIFE or something like it. Whatever…just bring on the kisses, fool!
***
Infinite Sigh
Sometimes I remember and the pain grips so hard it feels like nothing matters but the overwhelming misery. So this is how it feels. It goes without saying that I deserve it. I chose this road so whatever agony I feel is self-inflicted. Maybe I am masochistic.
Though I vowed to forget the pains of the past and just keep the beauty in all the madness, I still reel from the what-could-have-beens.
They say that it is only in misery that we find out who we are…and who we can be. Why must I always find it out the hard way?
***
March started on a stressful note and has been more of a losing battle to keep my cool. I blew my top as early as the first Monday of March.
It really pisses me to high heavens when people do not step-up or live-up when expected. It’s as simple as ringing the alarm bell beforehand so that I (in my own little way) can do something.
I am the type who works down to the details. Maybe it’s a blessing and a curse. But I really can’t take last-minute shockers. I often pysch myself up for something and those last-minute shockers destroy my sense of solidity.
But then again this is force majeure (as my law teacher would call it). I am just a hapless victim of circumstance. I have no choice but go with the flow…swimming against the tide is simply grueling and remarkably pointless.
They say that you can’t change the way the wind goes. Maybe it’s time to re-adjust my sails.
***
Just heard a news article over Breakfast that call center agents are subjected to a lot of work-stress because of the unusual work hours. And up goes my eyebrows!
While I have nothing against call center agents, I find it appalling that work-stress is credited to them. Last time I checked, stress is probable (maybe a “given” even) for all types of profession. There are devils in Prada lurking in all kinds of work environment and that alone can make Stresstab manufacturers ecstatic.
As with anything in life, it is a matter of the pros outweighing the cons. Stress comes when the “power” shifts to the cons.
At least those call center agents have fat wallets to go with their so-called work-stress. Some people are not that fortunate.
***
I can’t wait for June…if only because the long-delayed Wild Hope will finally be released. Wild Hope is Mandy Moore’s first foray into being a singer-songwriter. The album is already generating major buzz, with often anti-pop Billboard Magazine dedicating a cover story on Mandy and her new-found musical footing and creative relevance.
If the first singe Extraordinary will be any indication, then this album is bound to be well…extraordinary.
If the first singe Extraordinary will be any indication, then this album is bound to be well…extraordinary.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Visions Of A Sunset
In your lucid moments, you shine this beacon of light that rouses this world-weary soul. The same light cast a heavy shadow and I was content to just walk and dwell in it. Knowing that each step leads to a path of self-destruction or to a road of endless resistance. Hell or high water. Yet I convinced myself I needed that. To feel the pain if only to feel alive.
Sooner than later, I know that this will fade away. All colors will bleed to various shades of blue and I will be drenched with the all-too-familiar anguish. The sands are slipping through my fingers and all I can do is cherish each painstaking grain that I can hold onto.
I never asked for what they say springs eternal… or that one fateful shot. I just needed to vacillate in this moment. Until the next moment comes which will take me into another dizzying kaleidoscope. The colors will again come to life…albeit touched by a different light.
How weird it is to suffer the darkness of dusk when there was no dawn to behold.
Sooner than later, I know that this will fade away. All colors will bleed to various shades of blue and I will be drenched with the all-too-familiar anguish. The sands are slipping through my fingers and all I can do is cherish each painstaking grain that I can hold onto.
I never asked for what they say springs eternal… or that one fateful shot. I just needed to vacillate in this moment. Until the next moment comes which will take me into another dizzying kaleidoscope. The colors will again come to life…albeit touched by a different light.
How weird it is to suffer the darkness of dusk when there was no dawn to behold.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
THE BEAUTIFUL LETDOWN (A Look Back at 2006)
Year two-oh-oh-six was the toughest year ever. Not only did I have the most grueling and most challenging time at work for the most part of the year. Towards the end of the year, I have to deal with a family tragedy, the loss of our dad. It was the proverbial final nail to the coffin (forgive the pun)… the ultimate bad ending to cap off a bad year.
Yet, it is said that learning comes only with pain so with the trauma of last year comes a lot of learning and enlightenment.
And so I greet with the New Year with a renewed vigor and outlook in life. I am leaving a lot of negative things behind…and this time I look forward to the changes.
I have paid my dues in 2006, I want 2007 to be one of the best years ever.
***
COFFEE AND GREY TV
(The Music and TV That Defined 2006)
There is nothing like music or boob tube and silver screen moments to bring us back to a certain time. Our childhood years were littered by fantasies about Shaider’s Annie and Pink 5 and the humor of once-cute-girl Aiza Seguerra. Hearing Electric Youth and Hold On will remind my batchmates of sixth grade; while Tropang Trumpo, What’s Up and Fixing A Broken Heart were so high school. College was ushered in the music of E-Heads, Alanis Morissette and sad to say…Titanic.
And so I present the music, TV and movie moments that kept us sane throughout 2006.
Riding In CARS to the Movies
The entertainment freak in me is sorry to admit that I was totally out of touch with the movies this year. If memory serves me right, I was able to watch only a handful of movies at the moviehouse. Some of them I just caught on DVD but still I totally missed out a huge chunk of the better ones. Blockbusters like The Departed, Babel, Happy Feet, and Dreamgirls are expected to be major draws come award’s season.
Of the movies I have seen, I will say that Cars was the best. Very seldom can you find a movie that is both visually-entertaining and thought-provoking. Beneath Car’s glossy finish is a story that will be interpreted in a different way by kids and adults. Kudos to Disney and Pixar for coming up with animated flicks which will not insult the intelligence of kids from 1 to 92.
GREY Is the Color of Television
Over the past two years, TV has gained more prominence so much so that we find silverscreen bigshots appearing on the small tube. Entourage alone had Hollywood A-listers as main cast (Jeremy Priven) or recurring guest (James Cameron, Mandy Moore), not to mention that it was produced by Mark Wahlberg. Even the careers of former big screen biggies were revived via hit TV series. Yes, I am talking about Terry Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) and Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy).
For this year, Lost lived up to its name and lost most of its appeal. Desperate Housewives became more desperate (Sex and the City, it is not). Meanwhile, more people became part of Entourage and medicine never looked better in Grey’s Anatomy.We also witnessed the demise of the celebrated Six Feet Under (sniff, sniff) and the emergence of a new batch of Heroes.
On the local front, the fanatical following of “beJEWELed” Korea-novelas continued. Local adventure/fanta-seryes are still tops in the ratings but slowly the straight drama soaps came back to life. Game shows got a new “deal” (or was it no deal) alongside reality shows which catapulted relative unknowns to superstar heights.
Pop Goes The Bossa
In this generation of iPods and piracy, music is made more indispensable and more accessible than ever. The year 2006 marked another golden age of OPM, a decade after its renaissance in the mid-nineties, thanks to River Maya, Yano, Eraserheads, Introvoyz, Side A and After Image.
Having first struck gold (and platinum) in 2005, local bands and artist once again lorded over the charts (Odyssey even claimed that 80% of its sales last year are for OPM). Revivals (which were over-used by MYMP, Nina and a so-called Brown Monkey) were given a fresh treatment with alternative bands re-interpreting the music of the Eraserheards and APO. Meanwhile bossa nova music poured from the coffeehouses into mainstream pop, courtesy of such exotic names as Sitti, Sofia and Agot. Party Music also reverberated from the DJ’s turntable onto video channel playlist, prompting one to create their own Club Myx.
With this, R&B and Rap music took the backseat (so long…Eminem). The only foreign release to make its mark this year is the music from High School Musical…the Grease of this generation.
I started writing my best and worst of 2006 but then I decided to do the unconventional. So here’s my take on the music and shows that defined 2006
TV
Guilty Pleasures: Rachel Ray, Crazy For You, anything showing the late Steve Irwin
Feeling-Original Show: S.O.C.O and Philippine Idol
Feeling-Intelligent Host: Joey de Leon (Mel and Joey), Joey Marquez (S Files)
Best Ensemble Cast: Grey's Anatomy and Komiks Presents Pedro Penduko (Fil-Am Matt Evans pulled off portraying a very Filipino character)
Best Local Reality Show: PBB Teen Edition
Worst Local Reality Show: PBB Celebrity Edition
Best Rumor Monger: Mo Twister
Discovery of the Year: Pokwang
MUSIC
Guilty Pleasures: OST – High School Musical, anything Paris Hilton, Bossa Nova
Most Mind-Boggling Remake: Nakapagtataka (Sponge Cola)
Best Guess-My-Title Song: Cable Car (Over My Head) by The Fray
Most Irritating Song: Ring The Alarm (Beyonce), London Bridge (Fergie)
Best Nursery Rhyme: L.O.V.E (Ashlee Simpon),
L.S.S. Award: still…L.O.V.E.
Most Kawawa-Naman-Me Song: What’s Left Of Me (Nick Lachey)
Most Personal Song: Stars Are Blind (Paris Hilton)
Best Sourgrape Song: Someday (Nina)
Best Haba-Ng-Hair-Mo Song: You’re Beautiful (James Blunt)
Best Sampling: Wind It Up (Gwen Stefani) which has a sample of The Lonely Goatherd
Best Song for Elections ‘07: Don’t Forget To Remember Me (Carrie Underwood)
Worst Environmental Song: Ulan (Cueshe), also wins Worst Song…Period and Worst Local Band
Best One-Word Song Title: Stickwitu (Pussycat Dolls) and SexyBack (Justin Timberlake)
Hot Song Topic of the Year: DRIVING…courtesy of Jesus, Take The Wheel (Carrie Underwood), Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) and Beep (Pussycat Dolls)
Shortest Song Title: Unwritten (Natashe Bedingfield)... gets?
Song of the Year (Personal Pick): First of Summer (Urbandub)
Most Played Song on iPod: Cool (Gwen Stefani)
Discovery of the Year: The Fray
Worst Album Title: B-Day (Beyonce Knowles)…should be been called B-duy
MUSIC VIDEO
Best Exercise Music Video: Here It Goes Again (OK Go) which also wins Best Choreography in a Treadmill
Best Choreography, Solo: Me and You (Cassie)
Best Choreography, Group: My Love (Justin Timberlake feat T.I.)
Best Epileptic Attack in a Video: Déjà Vu (Beyonce Knowles)
Start-the-F**cking Video Award (aka Longest Intro): Unfaithful (Rihanna)
Most Drool-Worthy Video: Buttons (Pussycat Dolls), Promiscuous Girl (Nelly Furtado)
Best Ensemble Cast in a Music Video: Public Affair (Jessica Simpson)
Best Actress in a Music Video: Pink for Stupid Girls
Best Actor in a Music Video: James Blunt for Your'e Beautiful
Most-Featured Award: Snoop Dogg for Say Something (Mariah Carey) and Buttons (Pussycat Dolls)
Veejay I Want To Send To The Moon: Karel Marquez
THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2007
1. Rounin – a ground-breaking anime-serye from Eric Matti
2. Wild Hope – the much-awaited indie-inspired album of Mandy Moore, produced by John Ataglia (John Mayer’s producer) and with writing collaborations between Mandy and Michelle Branch, Adam Duritz (Counting Crows), Chantal Kreviazuk and Rachel Yamagata.
3. Yet-untitled releases from Maroon 5, U2, Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson
4. Dedication – the indie film starring Mandy Moore and Billy Crudup, now premiering at Sundance Film Festival
5. Other publicity antics of them party-girls Paris, Nicole, Lindsay and now Britney. Intoxicating cocktail drinks should be made in their honor.
6. American Idol
7. Amazing Race All Stars
Yet, it is said that learning comes only with pain so with the trauma of last year comes a lot of learning and enlightenment.
And so I greet with the New Year with a renewed vigor and outlook in life. I am leaving a lot of negative things behind…and this time I look forward to the changes.
I have paid my dues in 2006, I want 2007 to be one of the best years ever.
***
COFFEE AND GREY TV
(The Music and TV That Defined 2006)
There is nothing like music or boob tube and silver screen moments to bring us back to a certain time. Our childhood years were littered by fantasies about Shaider’s Annie and Pink 5 and the humor of once-cute-girl Aiza Seguerra. Hearing Electric Youth and Hold On will remind my batchmates of sixth grade; while Tropang Trumpo, What’s Up and Fixing A Broken Heart were so high school. College was ushered in the music of E-Heads, Alanis Morissette and sad to say…Titanic.
And so I present the music, TV and movie moments that kept us sane throughout 2006.
Riding In CARS to the Movies
The entertainment freak in me is sorry to admit that I was totally out of touch with the movies this year. If memory serves me right, I was able to watch only a handful of movies at the moviehouse. Some of them I just caught on DVD but still I totally missed out a huge chunk of the better ones. Blockbusters like The Departed, Babel, Happy Feet, and Dreamgirls are expected to be major draws come award’s season.
Of the movies I have seen, I will say that Cars was the best. Very seldom can you find a movie that is both visually-entertaining and thought-provoking. Beneath Car’s glossy finish is a story that will be interpreted in a different way by kids and adults. Kudos to Disney and Pixar for coming up with animated flicks which will not insult the intelligence of kids from 1 to 92.
GREY Is the Color of Television
Over the past two years, TV has gained more prominence so much so that we find silverscreen bigshots appearing on the small tube. Entourage alone had Hollywood A-listers as main cast (Jeremy Priven) or recurring guest (James Cameron, Mandy Moore), not to mention that it was produced by Mark Wahlberg. Even the careers of former big screen biggies were revived via hit TV series. Yes, I am talking about Terry Hatcher (Desperate Housewives) and Patrick Dempsey (Grey’s Anatomy).
For this year, Lost lived up to its name and lost most of its appeal. Desperate Housewives became more desperate (Sex and the City, it is not). Meanwhile, more people became part of Entourage and medicine never looked better in Grey’s Anatomy.We also witnessed the demise of the celebrated Six Feet Under (sniff, sniff) and the emergence of a new batch of Heroes.
On the local front, the fanatical following of “beJEWELed” Korea-novelas continued. Local adventure/fanta-seryes are still tops in the ratings but slowly the straight drama soaps came back to life. Game shows got a new “deal” (or was it no deal) alongside reality shows which catapulted relative unknowns to superstar heights.
Pop Goes The Bossa
In this generation of iPods and piracy, music is made more indispensable and more accessible than ever. The year 2006 marked another golden age of OPM, a decade after its renaissance in the mid-nineties, thanks to River Maya, Yano, Eraserheads, Introvoyz, Side A and After Image.
Having first struck gold (and platinum) in 2005, local bands and artist once again lorded over the charts (Odyssey even claimed that 80% of its sales last year are for OPM). Revivals (which were over-used by MYMP, Nina and a so-called Brown Monkey) were given a fresh treatment with alternative bands re-interpreting the music of the Eraserheards and APO. Meanwhile bossa nova music poured from the coffeehouses into mainstream pop, courtesy of such exotic names as Sitti, Sofia and Agot. Party Music also reverberated from the DJ’s turntable onto video channel playlist, prompting one to create their own Club Myx.
With this, R&B and Rap music took the backseat (so long…Eminem). The only foreign release to make its mark this year is the music from High School Musical…the Grease of this generation.
I started writing my best and worst of 2006 but then I decided to do the unconventional. So here’s my take on the music and shows that defined 2006
TV
Guilty Pleasures: Rachel Ray, Crazy For You, anything showing the late Steve Irwin
Feeling-Original Show: S.O.C.O and Philippine Idol
Feeling-Intelligent Host: Joey de Leon (Mel and Joey), Joey Marquez (S Files)
Best Ensemble Cast: Grey's Anatomy and Komiks Presents Pedro Penduko (Fil-Am Matt Evans pulled off portraying a very Filipino character)
Best Local Reality Show: PBB Teen Edition
Worst Local Reality Show: PBB Celebrity Edition
Best Rumor Monger: Mo Twister
Discovery of the Year: Pokwang
MUSIC
Guilty Pleasures: OST – High School Musical, anything Paris Hilton, Bossa Nova
Most Mind-Boggling Remake: Nakapagtataka (Sponge Cola)
Best Guess-My-Title Song: Cable Car (Over My Head) by The Fray
Most Irritating Song: Ring The Alarm (Beyonce), London Bridge (Fergie)
Best Nursery Rhyme: L.O.V.E (Ashlee Simpon),
L.S.S. Award: still…L.O.V.E.
Most Kawawa-Naman-Me Song: What’s Left Of Me (Nick Lachey)
Most Personal Song: Stars Are Blind (Paris Hilton)
Best Sourgrape Song: Someday (Nina)
Best Haba-Ng-Hair-Mo Song: You’re Beautiful (James Blunt)
Best Sampling: Wind It Up (Gwen Stefani) which has a sample of The Lonely Goatherd
Best Song for Elections ‘07: Don’t Forget To Remember Me (Carrie Underwood)
Worst Environmental Song: Ulan (Cueshe), also wins Worst Song…Period and Worst Local Band
Best One-Word Song Title: Stickwitu (Pussycat Dolls) and SexyBack (Justin Timberlake)
Hot Song Topic of the Year: DRIVING…courtesy of Jesus, Take The Wheel (Carrie Underwood), Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) and Beep (Pussycat Dolls)
Shortest Song Title: Unwritten (Natashe Bedingfield)... gets?
Song of the Year (Personal Pick): First of Summer (Urbandub)
Most Played Song on iPod: Cool (Gwen Stefani)
Discovery of the Year: The Fray
Worst Album Title: B-Day (Beyonce Knowles)…should be been called B-duy
MUSIC VIDEO
Best Exercise Music Video: Here It Goes Again (OK Go) which also wins Best Choreography in a Treadmill
Best Choreography, Solo: Me and You (Cassie)
Best Choreography, Group: My Love (Justin Timberlake feat T.I.)
Best Epileptic Attack in a Video: Déjà Vu (Beyonce Knowles)
Start-the-F**cking Video Award (aka Longest Intro): Unfaithful (Rihanna)
Most Drool-Worthy Video: Buttons (Pussycat Dolls), Promiscuous Girl (Nelly Furtado)
Best Ensemble Cast in a Music Video: Public Affair (Jessica Simpson)
Best Actress in a Music Video: Pink for Stupid Girls
Best Actor in a Music Video: James Blunt for Your'e Beautiful
Most-Featured Award: Snoop Dogg for Say Something (Mariah Carey) and Buttons (Pussycat Dolls)
Veejay I Want To Send To The Moon: Karel Marquez
THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2007
1. Rounin – a ground-breaking anime-serye from Eric Matti
2. Wild Hope – the much-awaited indie-inspired album of Mandy Moore, produced by John Ataglia (John Mayer’s producer) and with writing collaborations between Mandy and Michelle Branch, Adam Duritz (Counting Crows), Chantal Kreviazuk and Rachel Yamagata.
3. Yet-untitled releases from Maroon 5, U2, Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson
4. Dedication – the indie film starring Mandy Moore and Billy Crudup, now premiering at Sundance Film Festival
5. Other publicity antics of them party-girls Paris, Nicole, Lindsay and now Britney. Intoxicating cocktail drinks should be made in their honor.
6. American Idol
7. Amazing Race All Stars
Monday, January 08, 2007
Where Are You Christmas?
December 8
11:15 PM
It’s almost mid-December but why does it feel like freaking August?
Where did November go? Work has become such a rat race that I think I re-lost my concept of time (if that was possible).
Signs that I am the poster boy for work-stress:
1. My cellphone inbox contains 1,800++ messages… about 1,682 of which should have been deleted aeons ago (I’m no sentimental fool). Then all of a sudden, precious phone conked out an hour ago (Memory full…delete some messages…Not enough memory to perform operation). This is history repeating itself. This has happened before because my phone was super-congested. I know what will happen next…I have to bring it to Nokia Care Center who will reformat my phone and delete all the junk messages (including the 118 messages that I was planning to immortalize).
2. I have to consume 1000-calorie worth of chocolates per day. Be it Van Houten, Maltesers, Curly Tops or Flat Tops. Chocolate creates a false sense of gooey happiness, especially when you deal with Dementor-like creatures in your everyday life. The same effect can be achieved in gulping a Starbucks Hot Mocha.
3. I last finished a book in March. And it was the bathroom-book-thin The Magician’s Nephew (a.k.a. the REAL Book Two of The Chronicles of Narnia). After that I started an Ann Tyler novel which I didn’t finish. Then a month ago I picked up The God of Small Things and only read until page eight. Being a Harry Potter fan, it is pathetic to realize that the movie version has caught-up with my perusal of the book version. Yes, I started Order of the Phoenix but only got to about 6 chapters only.
4. The last movie I saw in the movie houses was Superman Returns. Thank God for them pirates that I am a little updated on the boob-tube favorites. Entourage and Grey’s Anatomy rocks!
5. I didn’t enjoy my birthday. True, I took a day off. But it was just like an ordinary Sunday spent at home catching up on the zzzzzzzss.
6. I am not feeling any vibe on Christmas. Three years ago I was the Grinch…to me Christmas was another Hallmark marketing ploy. But I had enlightenment after watching The Polar Express. But at these high-strung times, even getting my 13th month bonus is a non-event. And so I’m singing the theme from The Grinch…Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you… why did you go away?
7. I do not know how I will find time to buy gifts for friends. Maybe the Metropolis is filled with losers like me which will prompt the malls to open 24/7 to cater to our hectic schedules. If worst comes to worst I will give my friends a Starbucks GC. This coming from a champion when it comes to “personal” gifts.
8. I am dreading the new year. New Year = new principal = new challenges = new peaks of stress.
But I refuse to succumb to the lackluster Christmas spirit. One way or another, I have always looked forward to Christmas. Yes, I hate the long queues at the malls and supermarket and a little bit of the sentimentality. But I do love the nippy air and the blanket of contentment and happiness that seem to envelop the place. Not to mention that people become nice or extra nice during Christmas (haha…me included). It seems like for that brief window of time... we have a small glimpse of heaven.
Here’s my TO DO LIST to be in the mood for Christmas:
1. Finish buying 60% of the gifts for friends and officemates. That is coming from zero, mind you.
2. Buy a new pair of casual shoes.
3. Contact at least 5 friends I haven’t seen in 6 months and plan a get-together.
4. Buy a Motorola Razor OR upgrade my iPod Mini to a 60G Video iPod (help me decide).
5. Buy a ridiculously-priced nice pair of jeans and shirt.
6. Buy one book and one CD I have been itching to buy.
7. Buy something new for my house in Manila and in Bulacan.
8. Get wasted at least 2 times before Christmas.
9. Finish wrapping #1 in a week’s time.
10. Listen to Christmas CDs when in the car.
Bonus: Friends say they find it difficult to look for gift for me… although I’m far from being the boy who has everything. So since it’s Christmas and to make their life easier, here is a list of things I HOPE NOT TO RECEIVE:
1. CD case – I have gazillions already from past Christmases and this is the iPod generation, mind you.
2. Anything religious – I am a devout agnostic
3. Mug – enough said
4. Key chains – except if they are from Paris
5. Fake Louis Vuitton or Girbaud wallets – trust me when I say I know the real from what isn’t
6. Picture frame – for the nth time…I am no sentimental fool
7. Planner – I have what I want...a Starbucks planner
Best Gifts I have received from Christmas past (in no particular order):
1. A closet organizer
2. A CD case masked as a turtle stuff toy
3. a card from Unicef in lieu of a gift (I have always been an advocate of charity work).
4. Bedroom slippers (how did they get my size right, I wonder)
5. any shirt that fits me
6. bedroom linens
7. pillows (one saying Mr. Incredible)
Don't get pressured. As I said, I am extra nice during Christmas.
11:15 PM
It’s almost mid-December but why does it feel like freaking August?
Where did November go? Work has become such a rat race that I think I re-lost my concept of time (if that was possible).
Signs that I am the poster boy for work-stress:
1. My cellphone inbox contains 1,800++ messages… about 1,682 of which should have been deleted aeons ago (I’m no sentimental fool). Then all of a sudden, precious phone conked out an hour ago (Memory full…delete some messages…Not enough memory to perform operation). This is history repeating itself. This has happened before because my phone was super-congested. I know what will happen next…I have to bring it to Nokia Care Center who will reformat my phone and delete all the junk messages (including the 118 messages that I was planning to immortalize).
2. I have to consume 1000-calorie worth of chocolates per day. Be it Van Houten, Maltesers, Curly Tops or Flat Tops. Chocolate creates a false sense of gooey happiness, especially when you deal with Dementor-like creatures in your everyday life. The same effect can be achieved in gulping a Starbucks Hot Mocha.
3. I last finished a book in March. And it was the bathroom-book-thin The Magician’s Nephew (a.k.a. the REAL Book Two of The Chronicles of Narnia). After that I started an Ann Tyler novel which I didn’t finish. Then a month ago I picked up The God of Small Things and only read until page eight. Being a Harry Potter fan, it is pathetic to realize that the movie version has caught-up with my perusal of the book version. Yes, I started Order of the Phoenix but only got to about 6 chapters only.
4. The last movie I saw in the movie houses was Superman Returns. Thank God for them pirates that I am a little updated on the boob-tube favorites. Entourage and Grey’s Anatomy rocks!
5. I didn’t enjoy my birthday. True, I took a day off. But it was just like an ordinary Sunday spent at home catching up on the zzzzzzzss.
6. I am not feeling any vibe on Christmas. Three years ago I was the Grinch…to me Christmas was another Hallmark marketing ploy. But I had enlightenment after watching The Polar Express. But at these high-strung times, even getting my 13th month bonus is a non-event. And so I’m singing the theme from The Grinch…Where are you Christmas? Why can’t I find you… why did you go away?
7. I do not know how I will find time to buy gifts for friends. Maybe the Metropolis is filled with losers like me which will prompt the malls to open 24/7 to cater to our hectic schedules. If worst comes to worst I will give my friends a Starbucks GC. This coming from a champion when it comes to “personal” gifts.
8. I am dreading the new year. New Year = new principal = new challenges = new peaks of stress.
But I refuse to succumb to the lackluster Christmas spirit. One way or another, I have always looked forward to Christmas. Yes, I hate the long queues at the malls and supermarket and a little bit of the sentimentality. But I do love the nippy air and the blanket of contentment and happiness that seem to envelop the place. Not to mention that people become nice or extra nice during Christmas (haha…me included). It seems like for that brief window of time... we have a small glimpse of heaven.
Here’s my TO DO LIST to be in the mood for Christmas:
1. Finish buying 60% of the gifts for friends and officemates. That is coming from zero, mind you.
2. Buy a new pair of casual shoes.
3. Contact at least 5 friends I haven’t seen in 6 months and plan a get-together.
4. Buy a Motorola Razor OR upgrade my iPod Mini to a 60G Video iPod (help me decide).
5. Buy a ridiculously-priced nice pair of jeans and shirt.
6. Buy one book and one CD I have been itching to buy.
7. Buy something new for my house in Manila and in Bulacan.
8. Get wasted at least 2 times before Christmas.
9. Finish wrapping #1 in a week’s time.
10. Listen to Christmas CDs when in the car.
Bonus: Friends say they find it difficult to look for gift for me… although I’m far from being the boy who has everything. So since it’s Christmas and to make their life easier, here is a list of things I HOPE NOT TO RECEIVE:
1. CD case – I have gazillions already from past Christmases and this is the iPod generation, mind you.
2. Anything religious – I am a devout agnostic
3. Mug – enough said
4. Key chains – except if they are from Paris
5. Fake Louis Vuitton or Girbaud wallets – trust me when I say I know the real from what isn’t
6. Picture frame – for the nth time…I am no sentimental fool
7. Planner – I have what I want...a Starbucks planner
Best Gifts I have received from Christmas past (in no particular order):
1. A closet organizer
2. A CD case masked as a turtle stuff toy
3. a card from Unicef in lieu of a gift (I have always been an advocate of charity work).
4. Bedroom slippers (how did they get my size right, I wonder)
5. any shirt that fits me
6. bedroom linens
7. pillows (one saying Mr. Incredible)
Don't get pressured. As I said, I am extra nice during Christmas.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Confessions of a LOVE ATHEIST
November 30
Mood: Again...world-weary
Songs For The Moment: My Favorite Mistake (Sheryl Crow), What Hurts The Most (Rascal Flatts), I Don't Know You Anymore (Savage Garden), Good Enough (Sarah McLachlan), Killing Me (Robbie Williams)
***
I've been told that love's a celebration
But I've lost faith through frustration
And it's killing me, but killing me slowly
***
Mood: Again...world-weary
Songs For The Moment: My Favorite Mistake (Sheryl Crow), What Hurts The Most (Rascal Flatts), I Don't Know You Anymore (Savage Garden), Good Enough (Sarah McLachlan), Killing Me (Robbie Williams)
***
I've been told that love's a celebration
But I've lost faith through frustration
And it's killing me, but killing me slowly
***
Funny, most of the birthday well wishes I got from 12:01 of November 13 usually includes wishes for a lovelife. Tsk, tsk. Scorpios are notorious for having the worst luck in that department and the best luck in the other related department (hint, hint: Scorpio Nights, hehe). Well, I am a Scorpio through and through.
Why am I such a self-confessed LOVE ATHEIST (if there is such a term)? The list goes on and on but top excuses would be:
1. I very seldom see solid proof of a good and lasting relationship. If you compute the probability of a success rate, I think it will be around 8%. Even Reese Witherspoon (on Oprah) lashed back at her detractors and rallied in favor of marriage… saying that it is a journey, blah, blah. Look where she is now…the official America’s Sweetheart for Estranged Marriage.
2. I believe that you have to choose between career and lovelife. Only superheroes can have the best of both worlds. And going back to my reference to Reese… she did get an Oscar.
3. I’d rather be alone than unhappy. And I am COMPLETE… thank you very much. Relationship is like a drug…it gets you hooked and it destroys you. It takes out your sense of self so when the relationship ends, you have to find another to feel…complete. And your happiness becomes directly proportional to the presence of that person.
4. Haley James (Mandy Moore’s character in How to Deal) said it very well: “The easiest way to destroy a relationship with someone is to ACTUALLY try to have a relationship with them.” Trust me on this…I’ve been there…done that.
5. Caring is creepy. You get messages asking “Kumain na u?” or “Nakauwi na u?” -Puhleeze… I am not a freaking 4-year old.
6. Marriage is another conspiracy by the Catholic Church, just like the hidden truth about the Holy Grail. They know that marriage and relationships are bad for their parishioners. Proof: They don’t allow their beloved priests and nuns to get married.
7. Didn’t they say MIND over HEART? Biology put it that way so don’t you dare mess up with nature.
8. Building something just to watch it fall is absolute looney behavior. Nothing will last forever. Except maybe that diamond she fooled you into buying.
9. Being haunted by the might-have-beens is better than being killed by the what-is-now.
10. The fact that you are reading through to #10 means you believe #1 to #9. Let us celebrate your enlightenment. Welcome to the Singles for Life Movement!
Winds of Change
Note: This post is a month overdue. Grin and bear it.
November 1
Wednesday
8:06 PM
Mood: Overwhelmed, in a quasi-bad kind of way
The Stars Are NOT Blind, Paris
My Sunday horoscope read: "There's something fabulous about every bad trait you have. Your sarcasm is charming. Your cynicism is often true. And your callousness makes you strong. Someone adores your badness.”
True for the most part, except the last.
Ch-ch-changes This November
I don’t know why I took so long
I kept holding on to the safety of the past.
And then one day the weather changed
And this gentle breeze put me on to a new path.
Home at last.
November is my second favorite month (after December). It starts off all morbid and otherworldly but then it sheds off the macabre to smoothly flow into the festive Christmas season. Not to mention that in the middle of it is the birthday of one of the most celebrated people in the planet. Haha, who am I kidding?!
This November feels surreal to me. Not only do I turn another year older but I am about to shift gears in major aspects of my life. I am one of those people who don’t usually welcome change. I thrive in my comfort zone and I work my life on a stringent routine. Throw me a curveball and everything goes haywire.
But you got to roll with the punches. And yeah, you won’t go places if you won’t let go of the shore. So I am taking a leap of faith and doing my best to psych myself up. To quell the fear of the unknown in order to see the excitement of endless possibilities.
By next week, we will be transferring to a new house in Bulacan. Same village, just in a different street. I ought to be excited coz this one is bigger, way better and more permanent. We took a lot of pains in having it refurbished. I just don’t like the fitting-in part. You know…new neighbors. It will take some time before we get used to their idiosyncrasies (and vice-versa). Yes, we know a lot of people in that street…and that is the problem! Sometimes I am so anti-social that I hate high-school classmates/neighbors who drop by for a chit chat. I mean we can go out and update ourselves but not when I am in my house-rest mode. With the demands of my work lately, rest (even food!) has become some sort of luxury.
Speaking of work….my second curveball is work. I have been a marketing hotshot (sic) for five years now but new demands and requirements in our company suddenly propelled me in another direction. I might just dabble on supply chain instead of marketing. There are no formalities yet but my recent work on SAP Upgrade opened new doors for me in terms of career move. Truth to tell, this is already the third “door” to be offered to me. I politely closed the first two “doors.” I just don’t see myself inside those doors.
This third door (supply chain) is more ME. I just have to organize the supply chain process. I still get to deal with a lot of people (Sales people, principals, agencies, etc) and I will still closely with my office buddies. What am I afraid of? My savvy is in marketing. I can make marketing presentations and programs even when I am asleep. Supply chain is something that I will still have to learn. I mean I like the challenge but I also know that we (as a company) are pressed for time. I have to deliver results fast. Yes, I can deliver…I just might kill myself in the process (16-hour work shift, pressure, stress…you name it.)
As I said, this is a leap of faith. If they want more from me…then all I can do is TRY.
November 1
Wednesday
8:06 PM
Mood: Overwhelmed, in a quasi-bad kind of way
The Stars Are NOT Blind, Paris
My Sunday horoscope read: "There's something fabulous about every bad trait you have. Your sarcasm is charming. Your cynicism is often true. And your callousness makes you strong. Someone adores your badness.”
True for the most part, except the last.
Ch-ch-changes This November
I don’t know why I took so long
I kept holding on to the safety of the past.
And then one day the weather changed
And this gentle breeze put me on to a new path.
Home at last.
November is my second favorite month (after December). It starts off all morbid and otherworldly but then it sheds off the macabre to smoothly flow into the festive Christmas season. Not to mention that in the middle of it is the birthday of one of the most celebrated people in the planet. Haha, who am I kidding?!
This November feels surreal to me. Not only do I turn another year older but I am about to shift gears in major aspects of my life. I am one of those people who don’t usually welcome change. I thrive in my comfort zone and I work my life on a stringent routine. Throw me a curveball and everything goes haywire.
But you got to roll with the punches. And yeah, you won’t go places if you won’t let go of the shore. So I am taking a leap of faith and doing my best to psych myself up. To quell the fear of the unknown in order to see the excitement of endless possibilities.
By next week, we will be transferring to a new house in Bulacan. Same village, just in a different street. I ought to be excited coz this one is bigger, way better and more permanent. We took a lot of pains in having it refurbished. I just don’t like the fitting-in part. You know…new neighbors. It will take some time before we get used to their idiosyncrasies (and vice-versa). Yes, we know a lot of people in that street…and that is the problem! Sometimes I am so anti-social that I hate high-school classmates/neighbors who drop by for a chit chat. I mean we can go out and update ourselves but not when I am in my house-rest mode. With the demands of my work lately, rest (even food!) has become some sort of luxury.
Speaking of work….my second curveball is work. I have been a marketing hotshot (sic) for five years now but new demands and requirements in our company suddenly propelled me in another direction. I might just dabble on supply chain instead of marketing. There are no formalities yet but my recent work on SAP Upgrade opened new doors for me in terms of career move. Truth to tell, this is already the third “door” to be offered to me. I politely closed the first two “doors.” I just don’t see myself inside those doors.
This third door (supply chain) is more ME. I just have to organize the supply chain process. I still get to deal with a lot of people (Sales people, principals, agencies, etc) and I will still closely with my office buddies. What am I afraid of? My savvy is in marketing. I can make marketing presentations and programs even when I am asleep. Supply chain is something that I will still have to learn. I mean I like the challenge but I also know that we (as a company) are pressed for time. I have to deliver results fast. Yes, I can deliver…I just might kill myself in the process (16-hour work shift, pressure, stress…you name it.)
As I said, this is a leap of faith. If they want more from me…then all I can do is TRY.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Waiting and Hoping (My Best Buddy's Wedding)
Sunday, October 8, 9:37 AM
Mood: Tired but happy that I have a 1-day rest period (I had my longest sleep in a week….7 hours!)
Mood Music: 32 Flavors (Alana Davis), In The Absence of The Sun (Duncan Sheik), You Wouldn’t Like Me (Tegan and Sara), You’re All I Have (Snow Patrol)
THE WEEK THAT WAS
I had a real tough week at work. We resumed the implementation of the new SAP Business One system last Tuesday. Thrice this week I went home at 3 in the morning, practically spending the night in our warehouse in Malinta. To say that I am dead tired is an understatement…I am amazed at how my body still hasn’t shut down. The only manifestations of a near-burn out are (1) a punishing back pain, (2) Garfield-sized eyebags and (3) some manageable breakouts.
What kept me going? Finding relief that things are better and smoother than our first SAP Go Live. Of course, there are glitches along the way but this time, I find them more manageable. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can bring this project to its final successful stage. I just hope that people will remain understanding and patient since we are still dealing with learning curves and on-site troubleshooting.
With the overwhelming pressures from work this week, I had to forgo my usual routines and principles:
- I ate rice almost everyday! (Try the new McDonald’s Rice Burger for a quick and kinda-heavy lunch). I badly need the bad carb to sustain me for my 20-hr shift.
- While I dread driving long distances at night, I did it almost everyday this week (going home to Bulacan or to and from our Malinta warehouse). I had to be force myself to be alert since my body is already reeling from the lack of sleep and lack of food.
- I didn’t work out for the whole week (not even some simple curl-ups).
- I missed Breakfast (the Studio 23 show) three times this week. Watching Breakfast is an essential routine for me since this riles me up for the day, with the token optimism and perkiness of the hosts.
- I didn’t have time to get groceries so there is practically no food at my house!
- Since I was famished most of the time, I think I ate pork two times this week. (Argh!)
- I practically survived on chocolates (no fruits or veggies for me this week!). Trivia: I am officially addicted to Flat Tops and Curly Tops (the one in boxes only).
Today is a Sunday and I am still mulling on how to de-stress. Enough sleep. Check. Update blog (ultimate stress relief!). Check. Listen to relaxing music (The Island is a must-listen!). Check.
What do I do for the afternoon? Do I go to the mall? Do I visit check out the new DVDs from my suki pirates? Do I watch the remaining unwatched episodes of Entourage or Grey’s Anatomy? Or maybe I’ll just get more sleep.
FOREVER WAITS FOR BRYAN AND LESLIE
How can I forget to write about this! I usually cringe at the thought of attending weddings but
last September 16, I attended one of the most-anticipated weddings in our office. After seven years of being together, my good friend Bryan and his long-time girlfriend Leslie became Mr and Mrs. Bryan Lim.
I almost missed the church ceremony. I arrived in time to see the picture taking with family and friends. Although Bryan asked me to read the Responsorial Psalm during the Mass, I had to beg off since my schedule is still unconfirmed (I was supposed to get someone from the airport). I heard that Bryan dissolved in tears during the ceremony. I wasn’t at all surprised since this wedding and this relationship really means so much to Bryan. I am so happy for him.
The reception was held at the Crowne Plaza. By this time I am already feeling edgy. Weeks before the wedding Bryan asked me to make a write-up narrating their story as a couple. Then Bryan requested that I make a speech-toast during the reception. Which is just fine since that will only take a few words. But a day before the wedding, Bryan asked that I read the write-up I made…which is two-pages long!!! For Bryan and Les, I mustered enough courage to speak in front of the guests (which includes all my bosses and their extended family).
I decided not to read the write-up word-for-word since that will be like a newscast. I decided to do some ad-libs and do it in Taglish. What’s the use of a perfect English write-up if the guest won’t listen and get the message? Thank goodness my speech went well (basta hindi ako nag-buckle, ok na yun!)
To Chong and Les, there is no doubt in my mind that you make a perfect couple. I will go so far as say that this is the first wedding that I really wanted to attend, because I believe in your relationship. As I have written in the wish-cards, if I will be asked to make a bet on whose marriage will last until forever, I will answer (hands down), that it will be yours. Continue being the perfect example for us life- and love-weary
Bryan and I share the same principles and sense of responsibility so it is remarkable to see things work out well for him. It made me believe that things will also work out for me. Sniff, sniff.
I WANT UNDERSTANDING, NOT PRESSURE
I already prepared myself for this. With Bryan tying the knot, the love radar will point on me. True enough, while waiting for the reception to start, my two bosses/friends interrogated me on my plans on this department. I know they meant well, it’s just that I don’t like being pressured on this. I want things at my own pace. I believe this is something that CAN wait.
If you only could only see what LIFE has made of me, then you would understand why I am the DIFFICULT KIND.
Please do not summon my dark side. I maybe dwelling on the theoretical POSITIVITY and POSSIBILITY but if that keeps me going, then so be it. It is better than drowning in the MISERY of REALITY. I’ve been there before so trust me on that.
SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS
With reality TV season back in full swing, I am again in TV heaven. Survivor and Amazing Race are back! I barely have time to watch TV, but I managed to watch all the current episodes of Survivor. I couldn’t say the same thing about The Amazing Race (I just have to wait for the marathon episodes and the re-runs).
Being the pioneer of the reality TV trend, Survivor well…survives. They managed to raise the bar higher with each season. For Cook Islands, they decided to go multi-racial. They got five participants each of the four races: Caucasians, Asians, Latinos and African-Americans.
Of course, I am rooting for the Asian team with two Filipinos on-board. There is Jenny, a boxer and reporter from a Filipino News Channel. And Brad Virata, a fashion consultant. Both are doing quite well as of Episode 4. Not high-profile but definitely not wallflowers either.
The Asians won the first reward and immunity challenges (plus Yul got the Immunity Idol). By Episode Three, the four racial tribes were dissolved into two. Brad and Jenny are still together as part of the Rarotonga tribe.
Casualties as of Episode 4: three Latinos and one Afri-Am.
USELESS ENTERTAINMENT TRIVIA (Wala lang…just so you know)
Here are some things that I remember which usually surprise those who are not paying much attention:
- Famous Singers On Back-up Vocals: Babyface on Take a Bow (Madonna), Mariah Carey on Everytime I Close My Eyes (Babyface) and Last Chance (Allure), Plumb vocalist Tiffany Arbuckle on I Wanna Be With You (Mandy Moore)
- Justin Timberlake refused to be credited for the song Where Is The Love (Black-Eyed Peas). He wanted the song to be famous because of the message and not because HE is in it.
- Gary Barlow’s (of Take That) first solo single Love Won’t Wait is composed by Madonna.
- Mandy Moore is the voice of Ducky in The Land Before Time. Ducky is the small dinosaur fond of saying Yep, Yep! (Ah…ok)
- Carmine Giovinazzo (Dannie Messer of CSI: NY) is the only actor to appear in all CSI franchises.
- CSI Katherine Willows is the mother of the infected children in Erin Brockovich.
- Wentworth Miller (Michael Scofied of Prison Break) is the guy in Mariah Carey’s It’s Like That and We Belong Together videos.
AGENDA FOR THE WEEK
Sure Shot
- Go to Cebu for SAP Go-Live Cebu Edition
- Go shopping in Cebu (go back to that imported shirt store near Banilad)
- Fix room (broken sink faucet, screens blown by Milenyo)
- Change oil and tune-up for car
- Go back to no-rice diet (Gardenia-Quaker Honey Oat Loaf to the rescue!)
- Clean-out celfon inbox (1,097 messages! Am I freaking crazy?!)
Long Shot
- Get a massage (this back pain is killing me!)
- Be home by 10PM (latest)
- Get at least 6 hours of sleep
Mood: Tired but happy that I have a 1-day rest period (I had my longest sleep in a week….7 hours!)
Mood Music: 32 Flavors (Alana Davis), In The Absence of The Sun (Duncan Sheik), You Wouldn’t Like Me (Tegan and Sara), You’re All I Have (Snow Patrol)
THE WEEK THAT WAS
I had a real tough week at work. We resumed the implementation of the new SAP Business One system last Tuesday. Thrice this week I went home at 3 in the morning, practically spending the night in our warehouse in Malinta. To say that I am dead tired is an understatement…I am amazed at how my body still hasn’t shut down. The only manifestations of a near-burn out are (1) a punishing back pain, (2) Garfield-sized eyebags and (3) some manageable breakouts.
What kept me going? Finding relief that things are better and smoother than our first SAP Go Live. Of course, there are glitches along the way but this time, I find them more manageable. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can bring this project to its final successful stage. I just hope that people will remain understanding and patient since we are still dealing with learning curves and on-site troubleshooting.
With the overwhelming pressures from work this week, I had to forgo my usual routines and principles:
- I ate rice almost everyday! (Try the new McDonald’s Rice Burger for a quick and kinda-heavy lunch). I badly need the bad carb to sustain me for my 20-hr shift.
- While I dread driving long distances at night, I did it almost everyday this week (going home to Bulacan or to and from our Malinta warehouse). I had to be force myself to be alert since my body is already reeling from the lack of sleep and lack of food.
- I didn’t work out for the whole week (not even some simple curl-ups).
- I missed Breakfast (the Studio 23 show) three times this week. Watching Breakfast is an essential routine for me since this riles me up for the day, with the token optimism and perkiness of the hosts.
- I didn’t have time to get groceries so there is practically no food at my house!
- Since I was famished most of the time, I think I ate pork two times this week. (Argh!)
- I practically survived on chocolates (no fruits or veggies for me this week!). Trivia: I am officially addicted to Flat Tops and Curly Tops (the one in boxes only).
Today is a Sunday and I am still mulling on how to de-stress. Enough sleep. Check. Update blog (ultimate stress relief!). Check. Listen to relaxing music (The Island is a must-listen!). Check.
What do I do for the afternoon? Do I go to the mall? Do I visit check out the new DVDs from my suki pirates? Do I watch the remaining unwatched episodes of Entourage or Grey’s Anatomy? Or maybe I’ll just get more sleep.
FOREVER WAITS FOR BRYAN AND LESLIE
How can I forget to write about this! I usually cringe at the thought of attending weddings but
last September 16, I attended one of the most-anticipated weddings in our office. After seven years of being together, my good friend Bryan and his long-time girlfriend Leslie became Mr and Mrs. Bryan Lim.
I almost missed the church ceremony. I arrived in time to see the picture taking with family and friends. Although Bryan asked me to read the Responsorial Psalm during the Mass, I had to beg off since my schedule is still unconfirmed (I was supposed to get someone from the airport). I heard that Bryan dissolved in tears during the ceremony. I wasn’t at all surprised since this wedding and this relationship really means so much to Bryan. I am so happy for him.
The reception was held at the Crowne Plaza. By this time I am already feeling edgy. Weeks before the wedding Bryan asked me to make a write-up narrating their story as a couple. Then Bryan requested that I make a speech-toast during the reception. Which is just fine since that will only take a few words. But a day before the wedding, Bryan asked that I read the write-up I made…which is two-pages long!!! For Bryan and Les, I mustered enough courage to speak in front of the guests (which includes all my bosses and their extended family).
I decided not to read the write-up word-for-word since that will be like a newscast. I decided to do some ad-libs and do it in Taglish. What’s the use of a perfect English write-up if the guest won’t listen and get the message? Thank goodness my speech went well (basta hindi ako nag-buckle, ok na yun!)
To Chong and Les, there is no doubt in my mind that you make a perfect couple. I will go so far as say that this is the first wedding that I really wanted to attend, because I believe in your relationship. As I have written in the wish-cards, if I will be asked to make a bet on whose marriage will last until forever, I will answer (hands down), that it will be yours. Continue being the perfect example for us life- and love-weary
Bryan and I share the same principles and sense of responsibility so it is remarkable to see things work out well for him. It made me believe that things will also work out for me. Sniff, sniff.
I WANT UNDERSTANDING, NOT PRESSURE
I already prepared myself for this. With Bryan tying the knot, the love radar will point on me. True enough, while waiting for the reception to start, my two bosses/friends interrogated me on my plans on this department. I know they meant well, it’s just that I don’t like being pressured on this. I want things at my own pace. I believe this is something that CAN wait.
If you only could only see what LIFE has made of me, then you would understand why I am the DIFFICULT KIND.
Please do not summon my dark side. I maybe dwelling on the theoretical POSITIVITY and POSSIBILITY but if that keeps me going, then so be it. It is better than drowning in the MISERY of REALITY. I’ve been there before so trust me on that.
SURVIVOR: COOK ISLANDS
With reality TV season back in full swing, I am again in TV heaven. Survivor and Amazing Race are back! I barely have time to watch TV, but I managed to watch all the current episodes of Survivor. I couldn’t say the same thing about The Amazing Race (I just have to wait for the marathon episodes and the re-runs).
Being the pioneer of the reality TV trend, Survivor well…survives. They managed to raise the bar higher with each season. For Cook Islands, they decided to go multi-racial. They got five participants each of the four races: Caucasians, Asians, Latinos and African-Americans.
Of course, I am rooting for the Asian team with two Filipinos on-board. There is Jenny, a boxer and reporter from a Filipino News Channel. And Brad Virata, a fashion consultant. Both are doing quite well as of Episode 4. Not high-profile but definitely not wallflowers either.
The Asians won the first reward and immunity challenges (plus Yul got the Immunity Idol). By Episode Three, the four racial tribes were dissolved into two. Brad and Jenny are still together as part of the Rarotonga tribe.
Casualties as of Episode 4: three Latinos and one Afri-Am.
USELESS ENTERTAINMENT TRIVIA (Wala lang…just so you know)
Here are some things that I remember which usually surprise those who are not paying much attention:
- Famous Singers On Back-up Vocals: Babyface on Take a Bow (Madonna), Mariah Carey on Everytime I Close My Eyes (Babyface) and Last Chance (Allure), Plumb vocalist Tiffany Arbuckle on I Wanna Be With You (Mandy Moore)
- Justin Timberlake refused to be credited for the song Where Is The Love (Black-Eyed Peas). He wanted the song to be famous because of the message and not because HE is in it.
- Gary Barlow’s (of Take That) first solo single Love Won’t Wait is composed by Madonna.
- Mandy Moore is the voice of Ducky in The Land Before Time. Ducky is the small dinosaur fond of saying Yep, Yep! (Ah…ok)
- Carmine Giovinazzo (Dannie Messer of CSI: NY) is the only actor to appear in all CSI franchises.
- CSI Katherine Willows is the mother of the infected children in Erin Brockovich.
- Wentworth Miller (Michael Scofied of Prison Break) is the guy in Mariah Carey’s It’s Like That and We Belong Together videos.
AGENDA FOR THE WEEK
Sure Shot
- Go to Cebu for SAP Go-Live Cebu Edition
- Go shopping in Cebu (go back to that imported shirt store near Banilad)
- Fix room (broken sink faucet, screens blown by Milenyo)
- Change oil and tune-up for car
- Go back to no-rice diet (Gardenia-Quaker Honey Oat Loaf to the rescue!)
- Clean-out celfon inbox (1,097 messages! Am I freaking crazy?!)
Long Shot
- Get a massage (this back pain is killing me!)
- Be home by 10PM (latest)
- Get at least 6 hours of sleep
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Remembering 9/11 and the Storm of the "Milenyo"
Sunday, First of October, 7:49 AM
Mood: Bordering on stressed-out and panic-stricken
Mood Music: You Wouldn’t Like Me (Tegan and Sara), Lonely Day (Phantom Planet), Waiting On The World To Change (John Mayer), I Want To Fall In Love With You (Jars of Clay),
I am about to dive into another hell week…which will most probably turn to hell MONTH. So to rep myself up, I will indulge in the best stress-buster I know of…WRITING. Please bear with this deluge of thoughts, as I have been holding them back for the last few weeks or so.
Mood: Bordering on stressed-out and panic-stricken
Mood Music: You Wouldn’t Like Me (Tegan and Sara), Lonely Day (Phantom Planet), Waiting On The World To Change (John Mayer), I Want To Fall In Love With You (Jars of Clay),
I am about to dive into another hell week…which will most probably turn to hell MONTH. So to rep myself up, I will indulge in the best stress-buster I know of…WRITING. Please bear with this deluge of thoughts, as I have been holding them back for the last few weeks or so.
REMEMBERING 9/11
September 11, 2001. I remember coming home late from my work then as a writer/researcher/artist for a publishing company. The people in my house were already asleep and I was about to have a late dinner in front of the TV. What I saw on CNN news was one of the biggest shocks of my life. I saw the images that this generation will not easily forget.
I recall fearing that a similar attack was happening in Manila, at first confused on which World Trade Center the news was referring to. Then I woke up my sister and we watched the horrific images again and again. It was like watching a sick reality show or a demented “B” action movie. Yes, at that time, I was thinking that maybe this is the end of the world.
Five year hence, the dark cloud of terrorism still looms. It is ironic that while technology is making the world “small” and accessible, diversity (be it religion, race, even belief) is further dividing the human race.
Why can’t we just live and let live?
FROM THE DARKNESS CAME THE REAL “GLITTER”
While, September 11 is the one of the darkest days in modern history, it also marks the darkest day in the personal history of a pop music phenomenon. The WTC attacks coincided with the release of universally-panned “Glitter” soundtrack by the then-infallible Mariah Carey. Like a bad omen, the album cover for Glitter featured the Twin Towers of WTC.
For the record (pun intended), the Glitter album wasn’t that bad (but the movie really sucked). Yes, it was lackluster compared to Mariah’s previous efforts like the groundbreaking Daydream album and Butterfly. Some of the gems in Glitter include the songs Never Too Far and Reflections. It just got lost in the media hype on Mariah’s apparent emotional breakdown, the repulsive Loverboy video and the pressure from Virgin Records.
Now, Glitter is ancient history. While it could have easily been Mariah’s demise as a record-breaking singer, trust Mariah to turn it into a platform to greater heights. As we all know, 2005 belonged to Mariah Carey. She staged the biggest comeback for a fallen star, slapped her detractors in the face as she amassed critical and commercial acclaim with the biggest song that year (We Belong Together) and the best-selling album (aptly titled The Emancipation of Mimi).
Kudos to MC! I know it is very Oprah but I have always rallied behind the underdogs, the people who overcame personal tragedies and the people who made things happen despite of and in spite of.
Shout-out: Howdy, Francis (a.k.a Lestat), one of the biggest MC fan I know. Hope you are reading this and hope you are chasing your own rainbow in Canada.
STORM OF THE “MILENYO”
I was in (I think) in fourth grade when the last super typhoon passed Bulacan (Yoling, if memory serves me right). Me as a little boy felt afraid, excited and awe-struck at the same time. Afraid of what damage it might bring (especially the dreaded flood from a nearby river). Excited on the possibility of playing in the floodwaters. And I am awe-struck at the power than nature can muster, like a simple reminder that we are just a speck in the universe.
That same feeling hit me again last Thursday when Milenyo’s eye glared at Metro Manila. But this time I am more afraid than excited, though still awe-struck. It is not often that a category 3 storm passes through Manila. It is interesting to see how the supposed stronghold capital of the nation will hold up to a hissy fit from nature.
By noon, Milenyo had his presence felt. It is eerie to hear the wind howl and our building creak and groan in response. Our work was cancelled by noon (because power was out, not because of the perils of the storm, mind you) and I went out to witness Milenyo’s wrath from a safe distance. Call me a frustrated meteorologist and geologist but I have always been fascinated by the fury of nature. I was shocked to see that it was practically The Day After Tomorrow outside the office. The gale-foce winds were spectacular as it tried to blow everything away. I parked my car in a safer location and the car was practically shaking from the wind. After I re-parked, I was watching my car, afraid that it will get toppled over by the wind.
Since, power was knocked off, I decided to go home to Bulacan where there is water and power. I spent an hour and a half stuck in traffic in A. Bonifacio. Turned out a huge tree fell down near Cloverleaf so that only one out of the four lanes was passable. And all around me, the devastation feels like warp zone. The McDonald’s sign is now a “W” and Jollibee’s face is smiling even if he is hanging upside-down.
Apparently Manila’s megastructures cannot deal with nature’s wrath. Within an hour after Milenyo’s worst lashing, the wide-spread destruction is evident. Billboards fell onto buildings or passing cars. Even container vans were toppled over. Power was out in almost all areas because of electric posts fell like toothpicks (visions of electric bamboo posts for the future).
It is heart-wrenching to see the trees (which we badly need) that were toppled over. More than the billboards and damaged building, I think the trees are the most irreplaceable. It will take years before we can grow trees these big! I hope somebody will organize a campaign to replace these trees. Count me in!
One day after Milenyo and everyone is still reeling from its effects. I, myself have to spend Friday night in the car since there was no power in my house in QC. I only came home at dawn when there was some light. Only then did I sleep. Luckily, power in our office was restored by the next day so we had a refuge during the day.
Looking back, it was amazing how the telecom companies kept their service at the height of the storm. I just wished that they could have extended some public service and warned everyone via text where the storm really is and how powerful it is that everyone is advised to stay put until the worst is over. I think since Manila residents are unfamiliar with the perils of going out in a category 3 storm, some people still went out, resulting to cars that were crushed under posts or billboards.
Please help the victims of the storm. You can Donate-A-Load to Red Cross by texting RED
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Hodge Podge (The Third Serving)
Sunday, September 3
Mood: Walking the fine line between cool/nonchalant and distressed/world-weary
It feels like 400 years since I’ve last updated this poor old blog. Maybe because it’s been that looooong. I wish I can say that I’ve redeemed my social life and shared my story to real people, as opposed to immortalizing my thoughts on an amorphous space on the internet for all the world to frown upon.
But I won’t make pretenses. Top excuses would be (1) that I don’t have enough time (I’d rather have the mandatory sleep coz I’ve been exhibiting signs of anemia) and (2) that my resources have been restrained and limited (like I was an over-abusive and under-performing imp). Well, that’s life. I am mature enough to roll with the punches and not make a big deal out of something so rudimentary.
Below is the 400-years-worth of musings from an inhibited and restless soul.
Mood: Walking the fine line between cool/nonchalant and distressed/world-weary
It feels like 400 years since I’ve last updated this poor old blog. Maybe because it’s been that looooong. I wish I can say that I’ve redeemed my social life and shared my story to real people, as opposed to immortalizing my thoughts on an amorphous space on the internet for all the world to frown upon.
But I won’t make pretenses. Top excuses would be (1) that I don’t have enough time (I’d rather have the mandatory sleep coz I’ve been exhibiting signs of anemia) and (2) that my resources have been restrained and limited (like I was an over-abusive and under-performing imp). Well, that’s life. I am mature enough to roll with the punches and not make a big deal out of something so rudimentary.
Below is the 400-years-worth of musings from an inhibited and restless soul.
*****
PERSONAL PICKS
New Music on heavy rotation: Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), In The Sun (Coldplay feat Michael Stipe), How To Save A Life (The Fray), Leave The Pieces (The Wreckers) and ok…Breaking Free (from High School Musical; the eternal kid in me has been soaring… flying… and infected by this virus).
PERSONAL PICKS
New Music on heavy rotation: Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), In The Sun (Coldplay feat Michael Stipe), How To Save A Life (The Fray), Leave The Pieces (The Wreckers) and ok…Breaking Free (from High School Musical; the eternal kid in me has been soaring… flying… and infected by this virus).
Recurrent Music on heavy rotation: 1979 (Smashing Pumpkins), Still (Macy Gray), Cats In A Cradle (DMC feat Sarah McLachlan), Shine On Me (Watershed), Out Of My Mind (True Steppers)
Highly Recommend Albums: OST – Grey’s Anatomy, Under The Iron Sea (Keane), The Island (Agot Isidro)
Top-Viewed Videos: Me & You (Cassie), Is It Any Wonder? (Keane)
*****
LAST SONG SYNDROME
Have your ever encountered a song that at first makes you go what-the-fuck-is-that? Because it has an incessant weird beat and it sounds so different from the artist’s previous works. But upon further listening, you got into the hidden groove and suddenly couldn’t get enough of the song. Yes, I am talking about Sexy Back (Justin Timberlake). While I believe that JT is way more talented that the alumni of the boyband pack, I didn’t know he can give Madonna a run for the reinvention crown.
And have you encountered a song which annoys you from your first listen up til the last time you heard in on the radio (like 5 minutes ago)? And then you got the shock of your life when you learned that it is the #1 song in the U.S of A. Yeah, I’m talking about Fergie’s London Bridge. Until now, I can’t make sense of her lyrics: How come everytime you come around my London Bridge wanna go down. Duh! Tsk, tsk…Fergie is better off with the other Peas.
I have been very vocal about how I liked Disney’s High School Musical. Blame it on the frustrated singer in me. But I didn’t know that I will have a stigma from it. Now every time Breaking Free is played on the office radio, no less than four people will send me a winpop saying: “O ayan na favorite mo” or “Uy...kumakanta na yan!”
U-oh, here come Breaking Free again.
*****
OLDER….SUPPOSEDLY WISER
I know that I am mature beyond my years. Because LIFE happened to me and I have the scars to prove it.
Based on my experiences and observation, here are sure-fire signs that you are an emotionally-developed human being:
--> If you are a girl, you do not look for a boyfriend with Hollywood looks, you look for stability and companionship. If you are a guy, you want to marry at age 30+ when you are stable and companionable.
-->You deal with problems the best way you can (by finding its resolution or simply crying it to sleep) before you get outside help (of your friends or for god’s sake…your parents!)
--> Speaking of friends, you have learned to go around the oh-so-high-school term called peer pressure.
--> You have permanently retired the “the world hates me” angst of early adolescence. Instead you realize that the world does not revolve around you and that each of us has our own cross to bear. It goes without saying…nasa pagdadala lang yan.
--> You do not lament over the PAST, but instead prepare for the FUTURE.
--> You are OC about your hard-earned money…as opposed to “spend now, cry and save later.”
--> You know when to talk and when to shut your mouth. To paraphrase, your mind is faster than your tongue.
--> You acknowledge that while you are good at something, some people are better at other things. So no need to act all high and mighty…or no need to act insecure. In the grand scheme of things, we are all equal.
--> You do not make up for your incompetence by finding the flaws of other people. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
--> You have seen the grey between white and black. Also known as compromise.
--> You lost the eye-for-an-eye thirst for revenge. For you know than sometimes it is better to just grin and bear it, instead of getting even or getting evil.
--> You have a blog citing what it feels like to be mature.
*****
WHAT GOES AROUND…
I may not believe in religion but I do believe in comeuppance (karma, in layman’s term). Both the good and the bad kind.
So when I have the urge to lash out at someone, I just leave it to LIFE to deal with them. How mature, eh?
Maybe the bitches will have asshole husbands who will make them wish that forever will end sooner than later. Maybe the asshole husbands will have terminal diseases which will make them suffer a slow death. Maybe the blabbermouths will get a dose of their own medicine and have their dirt become the talk of the town for years to come. Maybe the sloths and free loaders will find non-stop work keeping the flames of hell alive.
I still believe that there is some justice in this world.
*****
ONE UP FOR TREE HILL
I recently finished the third season of One Tree Hill. Their latest (which might have been their last season), was a greater improvement from their second season, where nothing memorable happened. I am glad they were given another season to prove their worth.
Move over The O.C., I now concede and declare that One Tree Hill is better. Their script and dialogues alone have the makings of a literary gem. I like how they start most episodes with a famous quote and end it with another quote to make it come full circle. Not to mention that the soundtrack to all their shows are simply awesome. Good thing there are sites citing the songs that were played on a particular TV show or movie.
*****
THE HUNT IS SADLY OVER
Upon opening Yahoo News, I was hit by one of the most shocking news of late. Steve Irwin (or Crocodile Hunter to Animal Planet freaks) died when he was stung by a sting ray while he was shooting a documentary off the coast of Australia. He was 44. While sting ray barbs are excruciatingly painful, they are not usually fatal. It is just unfortunate that he was hit in his chest and direct to his heart.
I am not a fan of Steve but being a Animal Planet freak, he was always an amusing presence especially with his highly animated expression in the face of danger and his weird accent. Though his work involved flirting with perils and death, his demise comes as some sort of a freakish accident. Imagine after battling it out with wilder animals, he succumbed to a relatively tamer animal. The only comfort is that he died doing what he loved best. Most of us will not be that lucky.
To a respected environmentalist and one of Australia’s best exports, thank your for showing us the magnificence of the wild and the beauty in danger. Your hunt maybe over but the thrill of it will last longer than your beloved crocs.
*****
I, COUCH POTATO
I am addicted…to watching TV shows on DVD that is. And with entire seasons of popular TV shows now available in 1-season-per-disk formats at your favorite pirates at unbelievable prices, who wouldn’t surrender to the addiction?
My recent haul involved buying full seasons of Grey’s Anatomy, CSI: New York, How I Met Your Mother, Desperate Housewives, Supernatural and Sex and The City. I am now in the prowl for my other favorite shows, even the older one: Six Feet Under, Prison Break, Dawson’s Creek, The X-Files and Felicity. And I heard that House, Cold Case and Entourage are also good buys.
For losers like us who come home to late-night news or even static (station sign-off), this is akin to mana from TV heaven.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Sentiments in Mono
I used to care about you. Until you started drowning in your glassful of water. Wake up, dear friend. You still haven’t felt what it is like to play in the ocean. Even Nemo came to his senses.
***
Waiting for you means I’m blowing my other chances.
And you know I am not much of a gambler.
***
Just when I find it in me to BELIEVE, the world gives me more reasons NOT TO.
***
To love means to see someone beyond what they are NOT.
***
My soul is evaporating.
Someone please saturate me.
***
They say that the best things in life are FREE.
I say that there is a price you have to pay for everything. Sooner or later.
***
IT may not be right for you but it is heaven to me. And maybe to me alone.
If I want to linger, would you understand?
***
You want more from me. All I can do is TRY.
***
Waiting for you means I’m blowing my other chances.
And you know I am not much of a gambler.
***
Just when I find it in me to BELIEVE, the world gives me more reasons NOT TO.
***
To love means to see someone beyond what they are NOT.
***
My soul is evaporating.
Someone please saturate me.
***
They say that the best things in life are FREE.
I say that there is a price you have to pay for everything. Sooner or later.
***
IT may not be right for you but it is heaven to me. And maybe to me alone.
If I want to linger, would you understand?
***
You want more from me. All I can do is TRY.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Failure To Launch
In my five year of corporate work, this first week of August was, hands down, the most-nerve racking and most taxing. Many a times during this week, I wanted to succumb to the pressure and just explode with anger or fold up in utter frustration.
Yes, I was thisclose to losing it. The harder part is that I have to appear “sane” because there are people who need my guidance. Me losing it is akin to adding fuel to an already scorching fire.
I’ve spent 3 months work of extra work in order to put in place a new system called SAP. August 1 is supposed to be D Day - the first day of go-live. I must admit we weren’t that ready despite being given a 1 month extension. But we carried on and decided that we will just solve the glitches as they come. For we won’t know what is wrong until we have tried everything under conditions of normalcy.
Like a precursor of bad things to come, I was hit by an ambulance on my way to the office, at the corner of Araneta and Del Monte. Stupid ambulance decided to go against the traffic, without a siren or even frantic honking. Since I was blindsighted by a jeep on my left, how was I supposed to know that there was an opposing ambulance when it was my lane that had the green light?
At early morning, it was sickening to hear the sound of metal crunching, no matter how slight. Thankfully, I just got a dented bumper and slightly scratched headlight. Plus a slight phobia whenever I pass through that area.
No surprise: stupid ambulance didn’t even stop to check and own up to the damage.
Now back to the main story. I reported early to work to prepare for the worst in our SAP Go Live. At the very first hour of go-live, we already experienced backlog when the system turned out to be slower than usual. Amidst entertaining panicked queries here and there, I had to stay calm and tried to motivate the increasingly distressed invoicing people. They, after all, have to deliver the ordered items by next day or risk paying penalty.
By lunch time, we have just processed a meager third of the normal volume of sales orders. I already joined in the encoding the orders, just to be able to forward as many orders as we can to Warehouse and Delivery. Quick lunch by 3pm.
By 10 pm, I heard the alarming news that the printing of invoices at our remote warehouse is failing. At a normal day, everything is done by 10pm (all next-day delivery already loaded in the trucked, complete with the requisite papers). I immediately shifted to Plan B and asked the warehouse people to go to our main office to print.
I needed to get a little snooze at past 12 midnight. When I opened my eyes, the warehouse people were already in our office. And so we continued processing the orders until morning of the next day.
To cut the story short, after 2 days of overnight operations due to backlog, we had to declare system failure and revert back (for now) to the original system. We will re-try again on September 1.
It goes without saying that I was depressed. The system failed and I take ownership of the work backlog (the domino effect of which took us one week to correct) and unprocessed sales orders. I was appalled to see some people cry from sheer frustration on the new system and I can’t blame them.
I was physically tired and mentally drained. You know how it feels when you have tried everything and still it wasn’t good enough. Part of me wished I can take everything back. But for now, all I can do is to ensure them that it won’t happen again.
In these trying times there are two things that kept me from going to the deep end. One is the Beth Orton song Oooh Child. It made me look forward to the day when things are gonna be easier and brighter. When I’ll get it together and get it all done.
The last and the single most important thing is the fact that most people understood. Though I take full responsibility of what happened, it was comforting to know that people didn’t blame us. If anything, they acknowledged our hard work and the fact that no one wanted such system failure to happen. I didn’t hear one harsh word from our big bosses, even at the face of delivery penalty and lost sales. They were more concerned about our health since we have been working literally non-stop for 3 days.
In writing this, I am putting the last week behind and putting it in a drawer marked “experience” and “life lessons.”
Like phoenix, I am determined to rise from the ashes.
Yes, I was thisclose to losing it. The harder part is that I have to appear “sane” because there are people who need my guidance. Me losing it is akin to adding fuel to an already scorching fire.
I’ve spent 3 months work of extra work in order to put in place a new system called SAP. August 1 is supposed to be D Day - the first day of go-live. I must admit we weren’t that ready despite being given a 1 month extension. But we carried on and decided that we will just solve the glitches as they come. For we won’t know what is wrong until we have tried everything under conditions of normalcy.
Like a precursor of bad things to come, I was hit by an ambulance on my way to the office, at the corner of Araneta and Del Monte. Stupid ambulance decided to go against the traffic, without a siren or even frantic honking. Since I was blindsighted by a jeep on my left, how was I supposed to know that there was an opposing ambulance when it was my lane that had the green light?
At early morning, it was sickening to hear the sound of metal crunching, no matter how slight. Thankfully, I just got a dented bumper and slightly scratched headlight. Plus a slight phobia whenever I pass through that area.
No surprise: stupid ambulance didn’t even stop to check and own up to the damage.
Now back to the main story. I reported early to work to prepare for the worst in our SAP Go Live. At the very first hour of go-live, we already experienced backlog when the system turned out to be slower than usual. Amidst entertaining panicked queries here and there, I had to stay calm and tried to motivate the increasingly distressed invoicing people. They, after all, have to deliver the ordered items by next day or risk paying penalty.
By lunch time, we have just processed a meager third of the normal volume of sales orders. I already joined in the encoding the orders, just to be able to forward as many orders as we can to Warehouse and Delivery. Quick lunch by 3pm.
By 10 pm, I heard the alarming news that the printing of invoices at our remote warehouse is failing. At a normal day, everything is done by 10pm (all next-day delivery already loaded in the trucked, complete with the requisite papers). I immediately shifted to Plan B and asked the warehouse people to go to our main office to print.
I needed to get a little snooze at past 12 midnight. When I opened my eyes, the warehouse people were already in our office. And so we continued processing the orders until morning of the next day.
To cut the story short, after 2 days of overnight operations due to backlog, we had to declare system failure and revert back (for now) to the original system. We will re-try again on September 1.
It goes without saying that I was depressed. The system failed and I take ownership of the work backlog (the domino effect of which took us one week to correct) and unprocessed sales orders. I was appalled to see some people cry from sheer frustration on the new system and I can’t blame them.
I was physically tired and mentally drained. You know how it feels when you have tried everything and still it wasn’t good enough. Part of me wished I can take everything back. But for now, all I can do is to ensure them that it won’t happen again.
In these trying times there are two things that kept me from going to the deep end. One is the Beth Orton song Oooh Child. It made me look forward to the day when things are gonna be easier and brighter. When I’ll get it together and get it all done.
The last and the single most important thing is the fact that most people understood. Though I take full responsibility of what happened, it was comforting to know that people didn’t blame us. If anything, they acknowledged our hard work and the fact that no one wanted such system failure to happen. I didn’t hear one harsh word from our big bosses, even at the face of delivery penalty and lost sales. They were more concerned about our health since we have been working literally non-stop for 3 days.
In writing this, I am putting the last week behind and putting it in a drawer marked “experience” and “life lessons.”
Like phoenix, I am determined to rise from the ashes.
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