Sounds Familiar...And I Quote

Sounds Familiar

A pivotal scene in a movie requires a resounding aural backdrop (read: soundtrack). A grandiose theme song will be played or a big-band symphony will crescendo. And when the Hollywood fanfare has ended, hearing that song or sound makes us remember that magical movie moment. Why, just hearing My Heart Will Go On makes me want to jump off a ship, just to drown out Celine’s screams (pun intended).

Well, life imitates art. In real life, there is no musical backdrop during those life-changing moments. “Feels Like Heaven” didn’t play when you had your first kiss and “If The Feeling Is Gone” was not cued in when you broke up with .

But there are sounds and music which brings us back.

Recently, I asked a friend (who reverted to his old cellphone) to change his ringtone. That ringtone brings me back to a place and time when everything was pure fun…no pretensions, no politics, no guarded moments. It stirs a bubble of happiness which soon bursts as I realize that things are not as they used to be. Gone are those days.

Of course, sadistic friend won't change his ringtone. Oh-well....Na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

****

And I Quote

One of our favorite pastimes lately involves throwing quotations at each other and guessing who it was meant for. There are two types of such quotes: serious or fun.

Serious quotes are meant to teach a lesson, ridicule or drip caustic acid on the intended recipient. Hence, if the quote is about friendship, you have to think of a friend who violated the concept of the quote.

Fun quotes are silly statements that breathe humorous life unto inanimate objects. For example, who would have said: “Ano ba ang nagawa ko sa inyo at pati ako binibigyan nyo ng malisya?!” The answer is an Eggplant (Nye!).

I’m still compiling the fun quotes (believe me….there are gazillions of them). However, here are the serious quotes that are meant to make us ponder and wonder....hmmm. Disclaimer: Bato, bato sa langit….

“The key to successful leadership today is influence, not authority”

“No person is your friend who denies your silence, or denies your right to grow.”

“The only way to have a friend is to be one”

“Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.”

“Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.”

“Remember the difference between a boss and a leader, a boss says, “Go!” – a leaders say’s “Let’s go!”

Trust J to leave no stone unturned and come up with the killer quote:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

"People change for two reasons. Either they have learned enough that they want to. Or they have been hurt enough that they have to."

I learned that I was hurting. Please don't quote me on that.

Losing My Religion

I never forgot it, confusing as it was
No fun with no guilt feelings
The sinners, the saviors, the loverless priest
I’ll see you next Sunday
We all have a reason to be there
We all have a thing or two to learn
We need something to cling to
So we did

- from “Forgiven”, Alanis Morisette


****

People always give me that questioning second look when they discover that I’m agnostic. Religion has become one of my favorite arguments, and this is coming from someone who spent his elementary days as a little missionary (one of the elite clubs in my alma mater, Holy Spirit Academy).

For the ill-informed, agnostic means that you believe in A Higher Power but not in religion (agnostic is a notch higher than atheist). I call it faith without borders. I believe in God but I don’t believe in rules telling me how I should express my faith.

Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against people who practice their religion. One of my personal philosophies: To each, his own. I am an advocate of respecting one’s personal choices. Just as long as they also respect mine.

News talking about the frenzy over the Black Nazarene in Quiapo, the so-called healing priest or the Church’s love-hate affair with politics (Noli Me Tangere, anyone?) resurrected my arguments about religion.

There is a thin line between faith and fanaticism. I understand that some people have to cling to that one hope that they can hold on to. Above anything, religion offers HOPE. And hope is a double-edged sword…it can either make or break you.

Honestly, I find Catholic faith too old-fashioned. It clings to its age-old tradition even if it is unfit for these modern times. How can a priest preach about family when he does not even know what it feels like to be a real father? How can you condone safe sex methods when the entire world is already grappling with overpopulation and resultant scarcity of basic human needs? How can their repetitive prayers end the famine in Africa and the war in Iraq?

I will paraphrase. There is nothing wrong with praying. So long we inject some kind of reality in it. As the cliché goes, do your best and God will do the rest.

Religion, for me, is just a structure or a manifestation. But at the very core, you just have to know the correct concept of what is RIGHT and what is WRONG. And you don’t need the rules of religion to tell you that. I will even go as far as saying that I live a more “religious” life that half of the devout Catholics out there. I know one too may Catholics who are so passionate about their blessed religion but who will think ill of their “brother” as soon as they step out of the confines of their beloved Church. Talk about practicing what you preach. I bet gusto na silang kunin ni Lord.

Faith does not depend on outdated book, an earthly image or a repetitive ceremony. IT LIES WITHIN YOU.

And, as with anything in this world, your FAITH is wortless. It's what you do with it that counts.

****

You can find yourself a God
Believe in which one you want
Coz they love you all the same
They just go by different names

- from “It Means Nothing”

Last Straws and Newfound Voices

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Coz it seems that wrong
Really loves my company
The clouds are rolling in...

***

Some say I talk in riddles. Some say I am a puzzle. This is true to some extent. Because most people DON’T KNOW ME. And I won’t give them the satisfaction of knowing what I am and what I can be. I have saved this for the few people who deserve it. In goes without saying, if you don’t know me… then you don’t deserve me.

If you get lost in these words, it means they are not for you. If some words hit home, then you are the prelude and the aftermath. That can either be good or bad.

***

I asked a friend: “I wonder what I saw before that made me tolerate things.”
He retorted: “Kasi ROBOT ka din dati.”
It hit home.

***

I may be part of an inner circle but that doesn’t mean I am one of them. I speak the same language but I don’t have the same tendency. If this renders me irrelevant, then so be it. There is bound to be somewhere where my philosophy will not be sacrificed by latent avarice, covetousness and self-dominance.

Lamentable as it is, it is excruciating to get this far and still feel this…strangely volatile and remarkably aimless. Pictures faded in time are becoming clearer. What’s more preculiar is the realization that this is not borne out of the familiar gloom. It’s the other way around. The newfound light has rendered the shadows more hauntingly catastrophic.

***

I was a silent warrior all these years. I took everything in stride, learned to roll with the punches. But there is always THE LAST STRAW. And with that…a NEWFOUND VOICE.

To each, his own. I already expect some people will take things differently (human nature, if I can say so). While some people are appreciating the colors of the moment, some people chose to paint the picture black. But everything is relative. At the end of the day, only I can tell the colors of my world.

***

What the world need is not love. Love is too amorphous and intangible. There is something that is more accessible but most people render it elusive.

It’s called UNDERSTANDING.

It means putting yourself in other people’s shoes so you can see the world from their eyes. Hence, you will comprehend their actions and from there you will know how to lead or advise them. It also means listening to all sides of the story to get the total picture.

Understanding is a sister of OPEN COMMUNICATION.

***

Everyone has a story to tell. Having said that, everything is also NOT as it is told. That’s where UNDERSTANDING plays its vital part.

***

I thought that INSENSITIVE was already a superlative. Until I realized the next level: RUTHLESS.

***
LIFE is a bittersweet tangle of irony. You have to stop before you’ve even begun…The hardest thing and the right thing are the same…The cause is often the cure…Things change but somehow they remain the same…beautiful disasters…quiet storms….

All I know is life in not meant to be understood. It is meant to be learned, to be conquered. Like a treacherous wind, it can either break you in its fury… or you can harness its power and let it propel your predestined flight.

I summon the winds to take me in another direction.

***

The humble improves. The arrogant aimlessly walks in his own inert circle.

Random Act Of Kindness

It happened one sweltering Holy Thursday afternoon. J and I were sauntering along the length of Emerald, after meeting a friend who asked a favor from me (Good Karma #1). It was dreamlike to walk along a seemingly abandoned street, which on a regular day will be bustling with people and traffic (think I Am Legend). But the event that will follow will be more dreamlike (think Pay It Forward).

The combination of scorching sun and concrete jungle became our early Calvary. We sought refuge in a spot between two buildings where the wind is being funneled. While the cool wind is slowly lifting the clammy feeling on our arms (not to mention, our dampened spirits), we reminisced previous moments in the nearby buildings.

Out of nowhere came Joe (as we now call him). He is a American, a bit short in height but has the look of a globe-trotter (weather-beaten face, comfortable travel clothes and backpack). He may well be one of those contestants from The Amazing Race.

His first few words already resounded with desperation and a need for help. We initially thought he was asking for directions to get back to Subic and my mind was already processing bus terminal information. But as his story unfolds, we learned that he is not lost direction-wise (he came from California and has been here for almost a week), but he lost his wallet (with his money and cards) somewhere in Cubao and all that was left with him are a few coins. He has been trying to come-up with 360 pesos to get back to Subic .

Between J and I, we only have 300 pesos in small bills. So we decided to give Joe 500 pesos. The relief on Joe’s face is priceless. He shook our hands and greeted us Happy Easter. As he walked away, we saw him look up to the heavens in gratitude and kiss the 500 peso bill.

He left us with a surreal and uplifting feeling. Of course, the feeling of having helped someone in need is indescribable. What’s more surreal is that we were not supposed to be there. I know this will be melodramatic, but the chance that we will stop in that particular spot is very slim. It was like an invisible force wanted us to be there for that moment. And it sure felt that way.

We just wished that we will not be placed in the same predicament as Joe. Or whatever Judas experience Joe felt in this country will be masked by our Good Samaritan effort.

And maybe…Joe can throw some elusive good karma our way.