They Heart My Blog, I Heart Them

Friends have been sending some blog comments privately. Sorry but I will have to divulge some of them. It’s not the words per se that are flattering; it’s more of WHO sent it. Thanks for reading, guys, and no eloquent words can express my appreciation knowing that you still care a lot...even if time and distance has ripped us apart from each other.

From A:

I got to know you all over again through your blog coz you put it all out there. Hehehe. When I was there (in your life), I don't recall us having any brooding philosophical conversations. Or did we? But I remember the angst, yeah.

Just a question: Are you at a point in your life when you're now looking back and taking stock of everything you have done and been? Coz I think I am.

You know what? I've realized something... I realized that I am lonelier now surrounded by lots of people than I was before when I was alone. Ewan ko ba, maybe as I grow old, I lose the ability to trust and give myself completely to new relationships. I just hang on to the memories of old friends. Like you. Really. No joke.

I feel that I made some wrong turns somewhere along the road, just like the way you feel. But don’t punish yourself for it. Coz I don’t.

From V:

Hataw blog mo! Dami sentiments vividly expressed in precisely-matched words. Bow ako. You most likely have more than 500 words in your vocabulary (my Ninong Mon said above average na daw ang makagamit ng around 500 words). Semi-retired writer??? More of like you are thriving!

You are still cynical and sarcastic, capability lang ng matatalino (smiley face).

From M:

WOW...You go, boy! That’s all I can say when I read your blogs. Especially that I know you so well and I understand what you are saying, even if wrap it in all your vague words. Style mo, di pwede sakin. Hehe.

You were always the stubborn one. Not the bad kind of stubborn. I mean you never give up without a fight. As you say, you choose your battles. I wish I had that strength. But if ever life becomes too cruel for your kind heart, know that you can always run to me. But I know you won’t, you will take it all in stride. Stubborn ka eh!

You know ano nami-miss ko? Apart from your deep but humorous jabs at life...Yung silent and never-ending laughter mo. Super funny! I laugh now just remembering it. See you soon and keep on blogging.

Fragments #2

I had my taste of the first hell week this year. First there were the trade checks that gave more questions than answers. Then problems in my promo execution here and there. Plus, some people I desperately need to talk to are out of the country. And like some bad icing on a doomed cake...the first Business Review for the year! And to make it even worse, they changed the format 2 days prior to the actual presentation. As a consequence, we had to stay until 1AM to finish our presentation.

Every pore in my body is just screaming from fatigue. I literally cannot drive to Makati for the business review so I had to hitch a ride with an officemate.

Just some quick “thank yous” to F and M, who bought us some time and gave us some slack in the end. Whew!

***



Come Monday (Sunday in the US), the famous golden statuette named Oscar will again take centerstage. The Academy will recognize the best achievements in film for 2007.

I am quite riled up for the Oscars because for it’s been quite a while since we have this “popular and accepted” line-up. Previously, the more low-profile, high-brow and really dark movies took the crown. Think No Country For Old Men, which took most of the statuettes last year. This year, the best picture nominees were more mainstream and accessible. Hence, more people can relate to it and celebrate their predicted Oscar victory.

Not to mention that I recently watched some of the frontrunners and they are really some of the best in years.

However, the trend “from Globes to Oscars” will be broken this year because back-to-back Globe winner Kate Winslet was not even nominated for best supporting actress. Plus, Benjamin Button had the most number of nominations (almost matching the all-time record set by Titanic) so it has a good shot at stealing the Best Picture statuette. But tracking the other awards (SAG, Director’s Guild, BAFTA), Slumdog Millionaire is still the frontrunner.

Here are my fearless forecasts for the major categories for tomorrow’s Oscars:

BEST PICTURE
Who Will Win: Slumdog Millionaire
Who I Want To Win: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

BEST ACTOR
Who Will Win: Mickey Rourke for The Wrestler
Who I Want To Win: Sean Penn for Milk
Note: This is the most debatable category. The Academy might be turned off with Ruorke and go for the more “serious” Penn. Rourke won most of the other awards (Globes, BAFTA). Penn won the Screen Actors Guild.

BEST ACTRESS
Who Will Win: Kate Winslet for The Reader
Who I Want To Win: Kate Winslet

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Heath Ledger for The Dark Knight
Who I Want To Win: Heath Ledger
Note: If Ledger will win, this will just be the second Oscar to be awarded post-humus.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Who Will Win: Penelope Cruz for Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Who I Want To Win: : Penelope or Marisa Tomei (for The Wrestler)

***

I remember some years ago, Manila Bulletin had a “Guess the Oscar Winners” contest. It was the time when American Beauty was the frontrunner. I sent my fearless forecast (I don't remember them now but I think it included Annette Benning and Kevin Spacey) and come Oscar Day, I was correct in all the major categories.

But I got quite busy with my writing/editing deadlines that I forgot about the contest. I only remembered it some months after.

There were five winners and I was one of them. However, I forfeited the prize. It was several month’s worth of movie passes.

Well, I always believed that if it’s not meant for you, it won’t be yours.

***

Yesterday, I had to rush home after some quick trade checks to help my youngest brother prepare for his first JS Prom. Louie was quite excited as this is his first time to don a suit.

I am again in my fatherly mode. It feels weird seeing them off during these life milestones. How you’ve watched them grow from cute babies to boisterous teens. You realize how time passes by and how old you are. Louie is 16 years my senior so technically, he could pass as my son. But not looks-wise, of course. The running joke is that people think that Oliver, the third sibling, is our Kuya because he is the biggest and on the darker side of the skintone spectrum.

Since the three of us have almost the same height and built, we can share clothes and shoes, especially the formal ones. I remember when my second brother competed in a co-ed pageant a couple of years ago, he ransacked my wardrobe and took home all the “Best In” special awards.

And this time, Louie was named Mr. Junior ’09. What can I say...it runs in the family!



***

I don’t recall much of my JS Prom. For our barkada trio, it was tantamount to “work” because we were in charge of the stage, program, invitation, etc. Although we belong to the “popular” club, we are also a little too shy at taking centerstage. So anything that involves programs or doing anything onstage brings us near nervous breakdown.

I remember my Senior’s Day, the pre-graduation ceremony, because of my jitters in delivering a speech. To add to the torture, my English teaching pulled me aside minutes before the speech and told me that I should deliver my last paragraph in Tagalog for more impact. She, off all people, should know that I am more comfortable speaking in English!

But she was right, of course. Previous to the last paragraph, I almost ruined the speech because I glanced too long at the audience and I when I glanced back at my paper, I forgot which paragraph I just read. It was a few seconds before I found it again. My friends say that they didn’t notice it (or were they being nice?). When I came to my closing paragraph, I took a slight pause (an inaudible sigh) and shifted to Tagalog. The audience was shocked in a good way and they gave me a thunderous applause. On the sidelines, my English teacher was all smiles.

I, Rusher

Music on heavy rotation on my Pod:

- Chasing Pavements (Adele)
- A Little Too Not Over You (David Archuleta)
- Insomnia (Craig David)
- Just Dance (Lady GaGa feat. Akon)
- It’s Over (Jesse McCartney)

***

After eight years, I was somehow reconnected with Chico and Delamar when I saw them at a kiddie party two weekends ago. I was surprised that after all these years, they still remember me and my Rusher codename (it pays to have a unique codename; although I cringe now at the audacity of my codename). As Delamar said, “Di ka naman nagbabago, nag-iiba lang haircut mo.”

I have ceaseless praises and deep admiration for these two. They may be the country’s most celebrated FM DJs, but they are also the most accessible, if you know what I mean. Their trademark quick wit and playful banter remains unparalleled. They are forever written in the annals of FM radio history as the duo who revolutionized and championed FM morning shows.

On a personal note, I owe at lot to these two. They helped me through my most difficult phase. Not only did they provide the company and worry-free escape for three hours every morning, they also gave the intervention I was looking for (craving, even) at that time. Chico was always warm, accepting and appreciative. His positivity never fails to rub off you. Delamar is less interactive than Chico but she did something for me that became my lifeline during that trying times. However, she made me promise that it will just be between the two (or three) of us.

Looking back, I was nothing to these two prominent people but they took me AS I AM and made me feel valued. That’s something I cannot say about people I’m with every day... who had the best of me... but will bring me down by their next breath.

Anyway, as I always say...that’s their death, not mine.


***

Last Tuesday, I tried something I have never done in the last eight years…send an entry to The Rush Hour Hot 10. Wala lang, I just wanted to. Their topic was The Hot 10 Questions About Love.

I found out may asim pa pala ako. My entry took the #5 spot (FYI, I have changed codenames).

What’s my entry?

On what conditions must love be unconditional?

PHOTOBLOG: Salescon 2009

This photoblog is long overdue. It's only now that I have time to work on the pictures. And AD took her own sweet time in giving me her share of pictures. Ha!

So here goes. Just click to enlarge the image if you want a closer look.

Two Endings To A Pop Love Story

In celebration of Valentines, two music stars found themselves on the opposite sides of the romance spectrum. One was court-bound, the other altar-bound. Valentine…funny Valentine.

Rihanna’s Disturbing Valentine



Last Monday (Sunday in the US), scandal shook the Grammy Awards. First there was news that Chris Brown and Rihanna cancelled their Grammy performances last minute, apparently because Chris Brown figured in a domestic assault case or something like that.

And everyone was wondering why Rihanna cancelled her performance also. Is she that sweet that she has to be beside her guy in this ordeal?

And then it turned out that Rihanna was at the receiving end of Chris Brown’s assault. News said that the two had an argument while attending a pre-Grammy party. The argument turned quite intense. Reports said that Rihanna sustained “visible injuries” and had to be rushed to the hospital. Soon after, Chris Brown surrendered himself to the police.

As of presstime, both parties have yet to submit personal accounts that will serve as circumstantial evidence. But in the aftermath, there is a furor in the US against Chris Brown. People are asking radio stations to stop playing his music as a protest to what he did.

As a supporter of their music, I was stunned at this wry turn of events. Of course there is no defending what Chris did (violence is something you cannot justify, in my books). It’s just a shame that this happened at the peak of their careers. The Year 2008 belonged to these two. Chris was Billboard’s Artist of The Year and the two had been permanent fixtures across major Top 40 charts.

I was also a bit shocked at this violent streak of Chris, because he has always projected a male pa-tweetums onscreen (if you know what I mean). And he is barely out of his teens!

Considering the cruel pop world where your personal turmoil overtakes your musical relevance/contribution (think Michael Jackson), I don’t know if Chris Brown can write this off. How can you pull off a cheesy song like With You amidst images of Brown harassing Rihanna?


***

Mandy Gets License to Wed Ryan



In contrast, one of the frontrunners of the teen pop explosion 8 years ago is getting married. Mandy Moore announced this week that she is engaged to singer-songwriter Ryan Adams. Of her contemporaries, Mandy was the more conservative and always a little too shy of the limelight, especially when it comes to her personal life. Previously, she has been linked to Wilmer Valderrama, Zach Braff, DJ AM and her most high profile romance, Andy Roddick.

Mandy Moore ditched pop music superstardom in pursuit of creative relevance. Her last two albums, Coverage and Wild Hope may not have achieved the multiplatinum status of her first two albums but both were highly praised by critics. Wild Hope was her first foray in songwriting and for that, she was featured by the Songwriters Guild of America (download these astonishing tracks: Latest Mistake and Gardenia) . Her next album, Amanda Leigh, again features her own compositions and is slated for release in May. Some tracks have been leaked in the internet, though I still have to catch it. The titles of the songs alone were enough to spike my curiosity.

She is said to be on a lookout for more challenging movie roles after the box-office success of License To Wed, Because I Said So and her most infamous film project, A Walk To Remember. Previously, she has also dipped her feet on indie cinema, with the Cannes-bound Dedication and the teen cult hit Saved! I really loved the dark intensity of Dedication (catch it on DVD as it was not released commercially here). She also has her own clothing line, MBlem and has recently signed up for Artists Stand Up For Cancer.

Ryan Adams is a singer-songwriter who is always flying under the radar of pop stardom. He belongs to the league of Gavin DeGraw and Ben Jelen. OST fanatics know his songs which have been featured prominently in teen shows like The O.C. Most of his work has been lauded by critics and he is best remembered for his album Gold. Adams is also a producer and an author. Wow, how that for multi-hypenate star weds multi-hypenate beau.

I find it funny that when I say Mandy is engaged to Ryan Adams, most people are shocked. And then I figure they thought it was BRYAN Adams! Please forgive me, hahaha.

Details of their wedding are yet to be confirmed. Let’s just hope that they will not go the way of Alanis Morissette and Ryan Reynolds.

***

The beauty of this world can only be seen with a happy heart. I wish everyone I care about that happiness, regardless of their relationship status. Happy valentines, everyone!

Mitigating Circumstances

A different kind of storm brewed in the later part of this week. I wouldn’t have minded it but the haughty winds somehow blew over my personal turf.

I choose my own battles. You are nothing and no one to me. But this time you have stepped too close for comfort, my friend.

We were brought up in such a way that we are very particular about one’s honor and good name. Yes, we are not perfect and we have our foibles and flaws. But if there is one thing we do not take lightly, it is being FALSELY ACCUSED, using supposedly valid evidence (this is different from being falsely accused based on opinion, mind you).

Not to mention that I come from that principled university who taught me to stand up for what is fair and fight for those are subject to iniquitous persecution. Deep inside my stoic facade, I am a rebel with a cause.

If your system has been so spotless and rigid, then I would not have reacted. But it nowhere near infallible. And yet you indict someone who falls victim to your own shortcomings. How honourable. As I said, it is unfair to cast doubt if you do not have such certain measures. I believe there is a term for that: MALICIOUS INTENT.

Maybe you will get what you want. But everything has its price. Remember that.

Gotta Have Fate (A Review of Slumdog Millionaire)

To somehow update myself as the Academy hands the Oscars days from now, I watched one of the frontrunners: Slumdog Millionaire. This is one of the slowburn movies from late last year but it quickly caught fire as awards season came, even stealing the Golden Globe Best Picture win from surefire/big-production/made-for-award masterpiece The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Slumdog Millionaire is a story of how a common, uneducated guy from the Mumbai slums managed to win the 20-million jackpot prize in the Indian Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Many saw this as a one-in-a-million hoax (read: cheating), because even the most academic contestant never went this far. The movie poses a very serious question about destiny. Did the hands of Fate wrote Jamal Malik's story and conspired to bring him to this highly verbatim “fortune”?

Looking beyond its syrupy love story, the movie makes us believe that our individual destiny is indeed written. However, it also brings forward another view: that NOTHING in life is COINCIDENCE. As much as we try to forget the beauty and tragedy of the past, we are all products of our past. Remember the advice people tell us when something unfortunate happens? That things happen for a reason. The movie explains this in full circle, showing us the logic and sense of how Jamal seems to know (or not know...I am not telling) the answer to the game’s questions.

Slumdog Millionaire also depicts a very Indian principle: KARMA...both the good and the bad kind. How, in the end, we get what we deserve.

I heard that Indians did not take this movie well, both in terms of personal bias and box office returns. First reason is that it depicts the more dismal side of Indian life (slums), a realism they do not want to see on the big screen. They might have a point. Being exposed to third-world reality, I was still shocked at the horrific scenes in the movie (there was even the literal falling on shit). The movie overcompensates in irony; because outside of its beautiful story, it shows India in really bad light.

Second is that the movie lacked a big Bollywood star. I really wouldn’t know because I am not a fan of Bollywood. But I think the producers made a wise move in casting relative unknowns. This renders the movie more realistic and you gravitate towards the “commonness” of the actors and their characters.

While I enjoyed the movie and it does have a heart in its brilliant story, I was more satisfied (both aesthetically and emotionally) with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Truth to tell, watching Slumdog was like watching a local indie flick (think a former-tambay from Tondo winning Pilipinas, GKNB). So I can empathize with how the Indians feel for this movie. I will go as far as saying that, in the third-world context, the movie offers nothing of substance. Just a make-believe fantasy story.

And that dancing of the actors in the end?! Que horror! I only see that in B-rated local comedies starring TVJ.

This may be the most acclaimed Indian-inspired movie in world film history. It milks realism to its core, sprinkling it with a dash of mush. This is something we have seen before, in the small tube even. But the world (outside India) seems to take heed and notice.

Well, that is probably the movie's destiny (pun intended).

The Curious Case of Brilliant Moviemaking

It is Sunday morning and I am in a pensive mood. Blame it on Benjamin Button.

Since I had quite a tough week, I decided to chill and watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Truth to tell, I came into the movie expecting a lot; what with all the accolades that the movie is receiving (it almost matched the record for most Oscar nominations). But I was also partly apprehensive; thinking that all the fuss might just be the Brad Pitt factor.

Shame on me for thinking that. The movie delivered more than Brad Pitt.

The movie pushed the buttons in all the right places to merit such well-deserved recognition. A fantastic screenplay that is simple and intricate at the same time. A multifaceted plot that has a lot of heart and beauty-in-disaster realizations. Dialogues that resonate with wit and reflective subtleness. Splendid cinematography and art direction that renders this one of the most dazzling period masterpiece in recent years. And to cap it off...inspired and impeccable acting from its crop of already accomplished actors (notably Pitt, Blanchett, Henson and Swinton).

SPOILER ALERT: Please skip the next paragraph if you haven’t watched the movie.)

The first half of the movie ingeniously defines the early life (ironically) of Benjamin and lays the foundation to the punches that will stream roll later. The second half of the movie was emotionally wrenching for me. Especially the last moments as the clock ticks for Benjamin. I still cannot erase the restraint and stark simplicity in his death scene, making it all the more agonizing. And the quiet torment in the scene where Benjamin makes the ultimate sacrifice of leaving his daughter. Only the heartless people will not be affected by these scenes.

The austere beauty of Benjamin Button is its multi-dimensional portrayal of a life so excruciatingly complex coming full circle. It’s like watching a beginning to an end reaching an end to a beginning. Benjamin’s story is not about someone afflicted with a strange disease and how he overcame it. It is a story of making the choices that will breathe life to life. His dilemma becomes everybody’s struggle. His destiny became everybody’s hope.

For a movie to be indelible, it has to weave its delicate fabric into my consciousness. Like someone who passed your life in a nano second but left an enduring mark, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button conveys new insights about life. But don’t get me wrong, the movie never intends to preach about life. It just subtly forces an internal scrutiny. Benjamin’s story (as well as that of Daisy and Elizabeth) presents a contemplative yardstick upon which we measure our life against. We may not like how it adds up, but it never allows us to decay in self pity. Their story delivers an ordinary solution that is within arm’s reach of everyone: we can always put destiny in our own hands.

Personally, there is no better time for this awakening. I believe I am already in mid-life and yet I just re-started my life a few breaths ago. Excuse the over-dramatics. I am just at a point where I have designed a new way to live. I have recently ended a life that is often dictated by other people; both in a good and bad way. And while most things remain the same, one important thing has changed. MYSELF.

I still dream of second chances. Of destiny fulfilled. Of getting what is in store for me... no matter how difficult and puzzling the journey to get it. Like what Benjamin said, regardless of what point you are in your life, you can still be what you want to be.

To hell with Loreal and Olay. Benjamin Button just gave us the most potent solution to ageing.