Another Everything

The long weekend stretched like a finite dream waiting to be realized. I need this weekend...to think things over.

I hate standing in a crossroad where there is a chance of walking towards a path of thorns. Yet the path of least resistance is not so tempting either. Part of me is thankful that I am still moving and shifting, as compared to being inert and senile.

I hate being placed in an unforgiving cliff where I am urged to just soar. Because the fall into unfathomable depths is always waiting on the other side. That or being told to fly higher. I keep thinking of Icarus who wanted to fly so bad he ended up getting too close to the sun.

And I don’t want to be placed in a pedestal. To me this is an ultimate representation of a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes I am scared of opportunities even if there’s nothing to lose. Nothing LEFT to lose.

I want sure foot. I want slow yet guaranteed progress. I want baby steps, for during the few times that I took the big leap, I just ended up where I started.

Even as a child I never dreamed of becoming a superhero. I was slapped with reality a little too early that there was no point in dreaming. You just look reality in the eye, accept the horrors that you see and not let it break you. The only power I know of is resilience. The only enemy I fear is myself.

Sleepless hours... the rolling of the dice...the breaking free.

Another chance... another life...

Am I ready for another everything?


***

A world that moves too fast.
A mouth of broken glass.
It may not seem so painful.
By January, the rain will swallow.
Change will follow.