Music on Repeat: Something Pretty (Patrick Park)
The Wind Cries Hurry
For the past two weeks, I’ve been braving the sun and heat to provide my fair share of trade check reports. Admittedly, it did open my eyes on a lot of things that were going on at the store level. But it left me feeling more spent and disoriented than ever. It puts my multi-tasking talent to an extreme test. After all, who will do my reports and paperwork while I am out getting sales orders or playing undercover photographer for supermarket displays? I am the opposite of The King Of Nothing To Do.
And the elements are working against me as well.
First to break down was the power charger of my office laptop (which is perpetually plugged-in coz the battery already died ages ago). It could not have come at a better time because I was already in Naga City for a presentation when I realized that I cannot use my laptop. Thanks to wifi (one of God’s best gift to the modern man), I asked our Manila office to email the files I need and used the laptop of my colleague. (This feels like a freaking Mentos commercial).
Still, I was left with no laptop for a couple of days. Good thing E has a compatible power chord so I was able to sneak into my office laptop and save the recent files and migrate it to my personal laptop.
Then, after my days of field work, I was ecstatic to report back to the office and deal with my paperwork overload. Only to find out that the electric power on the entire third floor conked out because of some wiring trouble. So we had to do all our work in the small conference table in the second floor.
Plus points: after not seeing my fellow PM for days (yeah, I missed them), we were literally rubbing shoulders and exchanging stories. Minus points: nine of us were sharing the conference table so our things were getting mixed up and you somehow cannot work well and concentrate because it is not your “normal” office space. Bottomline: I did more field work and finished my officework elsewhere.
We were already forewarned that will be like this for the next two weeks
***
Dreaming The Dream
Late one Saturday afternoon, we traveled South for an ocular inspection. We were gearing up for a celebration towards the end of May (sorry but everything is “secret” for now). As with any of our road trips, the conversation was peppered with nostalgic pop references, the usual sleaziness and…dreams.
J narrated that he had the weirdest and scariest “dream” the previous night. We went home late that night so you would expect a grand snoozefest. However, he woke up around 3AM (enter images of The Exorcism of Emily Rose) and felt an inexplicably unfathomable presence in his room. The presence was so palpable that he refused to open his eyes. And this was not a dream state because he was already conscious of his earthly body movements. It was only when he started praying that the baffling presence slowly dissipated. Then he was able to open his eyes, turn on the light and TV (to sleep mode) and returned to sleep.
T’s dream is more mystical than horrifying, but a tad scary nonetheless. For the past weeks, he has been dreaming of his relatives that have long passed away. He sees them in his dream as a “future” image, not as they were before they died. Like they aged in some cosmic parallel universe. And every time they are about to acknowledge each other’s presence, he would wake up. Also there is a tantalizing well-lighted room but T would wake up before he can peek at what’s inside the room.
We told T not to enter the well-lighted room and, if possible, visit his relatives’ tombs. And maybe he should stop watching Manigno on primetime TV and concentrate on mastering The Singing Bee, instead.
As for me, my dreams were haunted by a beautiful apparition we saw in BKTM that Friday night.
***
Something Wistful This Way Comes
I’m holding on tight in the midst of this wind
Trying so hard to stand still
But I’m swept away
Like a storm that gets lost in the tide
Yet I’m trying to stay on your side
Like some recurring omen, it is again that time of the year. The winds of change are blowing this way once more. It brings with it some fresh faces then it sends some of the old ones away. Or sometimes it changes the trajectory of the others. Just the same, everything will never be the same again.
Change is like a game of chance. We will never know, until much later, what the consequences are. If it spells fortune or doom. Everything boils down to half-chances.
Some things you’ll never know until you’ve tried it. Some lessons you have to learn the hard way. I am again in an unforgiving crossroad. Sooner of later, I will have to make that life-changing choice.
Will the promise of the horizon be enough for me to let go of the shore?
***
She’s Justified (A Birthday Greeting)
If this place was heaven, then she was my first angel. Who can forget that life-changing phone call, 6 years ago that brought me here? Back then, she was already a tad too insistent that I had the sneaky suspicion that she has the hots for me.
Joking aside, she became one of my most indispensable allies at work, up to this very moment. How we clicked instantly is a no brainer. We share a lot of things in common…from the addiction to pop music and MTV to wasting time at the mall. And yes, she can be a great writer if only she will put her mind to it.
I have seen her at her worst and at her best. I have seen her beaten by our so-called “true friends” and how her spirit shone through the hurtful tears. I have watched her suffer in silence, especially in the midst of her medical dilemma. I watched how she stood ground when I gave her the “unexpected space”, knowing that later she would understand that it was a space for her to grow. And grow, she did. From the sidelines, I was there when she received the recognition she long deserved. For what it’s worth, she made us proud. That crowning moment was something I have long wished for her because I know she had it in her.
Of course, we had our share of misunderstanding but what we have can stand the test of time, pressure and malicious intrigues. She is one of the few people who can tolerate the lethal combination of my mood swings, sarcasm and indifference, especially when I am so stressed out with work. She understands me better than the people I spend more time with. I am forever indebted to her because she is one of the few people who championed me and brought me to where I am now.
Though we have moved in different circles, there is no question of each other’s distant presence. Once in a great while, there will be the midnight phone calls and she will bleed her new challenging story. On the other hand, she is one of the few people who knows what I’m going through. She is also a big fan of what I enjoy doing... be it writing blogs, singing or making fun of RV.
This birthday blog is overdue (and that won’t be a surprise for her because she is so used to my “delays”). Happy birthday, K! This blog will not be enough to describe how great you are as a person. I wish you more happiness…in places now one will find (haha…admit you miss me saying this). Continue your quest for understanding this cruel life. As “your” C would say, there is a blue sky waiting tomorrow.